The Purist Movement

an insiders view . . .

I was speaking at a history workshop, last week. I shared about what it was like in NA in the early 80's. Of course, to me, that wasn't that far off. After I finished my talk, I realized that there were a lot of things I used to talk about that I no longer share in my story. Today I talk primarily about the steps. I decided, on the ride home, to share with the fellowship about the early days for me. The period has fondly come to be known as "the purist movement".

I landed in my third treatment center on September 5th, 1981. It was there that I went to my first NA meeting and heard the message of recovery from the disease of addiction. Actually what i "heard" was that we were powerless over drugs and when we used them our lives became unmanageable.

The members of NA back then were going to one or two NA meetings a week and going to AA on nights when there was no NA. Our recovery was based on AA's focus of powerless-ness over alcohol (the symptom). We were instructed, by well meaning AA members, to change the word "alcohol" to the word "drugs". So that's what we did.

When I had four months clean, my drug councilor gave me and my running partner a starter kit for AA and said why don't you go start one of those meetings. So we did. It was more group therapy than 12 steps and I was the therapist, of course. I was the old timer. My buddy had the most clean time but he wasn't the talkative type.

I moved across the state when I had one year clean and began to go to local meetings. There was one meeting about 8 minutes from my house. It was called "junks and drunks". We were still substance oriented, back then. We started a second meeting on Wednesday nights at the same location. On Tuesday nights we sometimes drove to the beach, about forty minutes away. A Thursday night meeting had started in a treatment center forty-five minutes in the other direction. Friday night we met back at the beach.

On Saturday, we all went over the river to the area next door. Sunday was meeting in that area as well, at the hospital I worked in. This was the norm in NA, driving between thirty minutes to an hour for a meeting. We knew no other way. I was asked to speak at a meeting on a Wednesday night. The meeting was three hours away. We packed up the car with addicts and went, then turned around and drove home that same night.

We did know an easier, softer way. This was to go to the AA meetings. I went to the AA club house most every day at noon. I was working the evening shift at the treatment center and we had no noon NA meetings yet. I had just picked up my two year gold coin in AA and knew all their readings by heart. I never committed to serve in any capacity. For some reason it didn't seem right, alcohol was not my drug of choice. I was never asked to chair and that didn't seem to be a problem either. I was doing my service at the treatment center, with my sponsees, and at the NA meetings.

I got a call from my friend Larry. He was the guy that first taught me about NA service. He had called me a year before, when I lived across state, and had let me know what area service we were in. He suggested that we elected a group service representative. So I elected myself GSR. I was doing everything else. I was the PI committee, the H and I committee, the Literature Committee and the phone line was at my house. No ego here. I was also chairman of the GI committee... guilt and intimidation. It was my favorite position.

In February of 1982, Larry called and said that he was going to a convention and asked if I would like to go. I said,"Great, where is it?" And he said Georgia. Georgia! I proclaimed. And then, as I had with almost everything Larry suggested to me, I said, "OK." I knew, from passed experience, that wherever Larry went there would be a lot of great new NA friends and that we would be taken care of in style.

A group of us got together at a central location in the middle of the state and waited for Larry. He used to drive this beat up old grey van and wherever it went, it was chuck full of newcomers. Whenever he pulled up and opened the door, they would all come tumbling out like the clowns stuffed into the little Volkswagen at the circus. Larry's life was dedicated to carrying the message to the addict who still suffered. We called him "the old man" due to his older age (40 something) and his 9 plus years in NA . . . that was forever.

Larry showed up very late and at midnight we took off for our 9 hour drive to Atlanta. It was a harrowing drive, since Larry's steering wheel could be turned half way round and you would still be going straight down the road. Being a northerner and driving this unsafe vehicle into the deep south, in a rain storm, at 2 in the morning, was an act of sheer faith for me.

We arrived early in the morning on Friday and were too excited to go to sleep. It seemed that Larry knew all the movers and shakers in NA and proceeded to introduce us to them all. We met Bo from Atlanta, who was spearheading the World Literature Committees work on something called the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous. They had approval copies all over the place and everyone was reading it and talking it up.

I went to the opening meeting that night and a guy from Michigan got up and said, I don't know about much but I heard "work the Steps or die mother f+++er. Wow! I thought, nobody at home talks about the Steps. Of course, they didn't work the Steps, I didn't work the Steps and a lot of them looked up to me. They did what I did, talk good stuff about powerless-ness, acceptance and surrender but nothing about Steps. We really didn't have much on the Steps in NA back then. At the time, Step 3 was real cool.

The next thing that struck me was a guy from Georgia who got up and said,"What really excites me is that this is an NA convention with NA speakers", and the crowd applauded thunderously. This was a novel idea in Narcotics Anonymous in the early 80's. Most of our oldtimers, back then, had surrendered in AA or were going to both fellowships. We had no identity of our own. Maybe that's why we had so few meetings back then. Why go to the hassle of starting another meeting when there are plenty of good AA meetings everyday.

That was the other thing I was hearing about at GRSNA II, making a commitment to only go to NA meetings. I remember the Friday night speaker talking about letting the his local AA fellowship know that once they got seven meetings of NA a week, they wouldn't see him at there f+++in doorstep. There was something attractive about that radical stuff but "better safe than scary" was always my motto. I feared rejection something terrible, being a life long people pleaser.

The next thanksgiving, I went to the volunteer regional convention in Nashville, Tennessee. Larry met me there and introduced me to the local NA's. I remember thinking back to the convention in Georgia and how cool it was to see people speaking at the microphones. So, every chance I got, I would raise my hand and go to the podium to share my words of wisdom. I remember debating with the world "H and I" Chair and we didn't even have an "H and I" meeting were I lived.

On Sunday afternoon, when the convention was all but over, I was talking with this guy from Memphis named Joseph. He was a friend of Larry's and so he was family to me. He said,"You know, you must of spoken on everyone of those tapes." I was not thrilled with this guy, right from the start. Who the hell did he think he was, anyway.

He went on to say,"I heard you identifying yourself as clean and sober." I said,"Yeah, clean from drugs and emotionally and spiritually sober." He said,"You know, I looked up the dictionary definition of the word sober and it means somber, serious, moderate and not drunk and I cant afford to limit my recovery in those terms."

He then went further to say,"I looked up the dictionary definition of the word clean and it means free from dirt and diseases and when I came in to NA, I was a dirty and diseased guy. I go to na, not only to become physically clean from drugs, but to become spiritually clean, emotionally clean, clean in the way that I deal with the world."

"Were do you find your recovery," he asked? "Well, I go to the NA meetings I can get to but I work evenings at the treatment center so I go to the noon AA meetings during the day." He said,"All my life I never made a commitment anywhere, I never stuck it out. If I didn't like this girl, I had another across town. If I didn't like this group of friends I'd hang out with another. If I didn't like this school, I'd get my parents to move me to another. I never made a commitment anywhere. You need to make a commitment somewhere and stick it out, and when the service arguments get tough, you can't take your ball and go home."

If they needed someone to chair the aa meeting on tuesday would you be missed, he asked? No, I said, they have hundreds of people there. If they needed a speaker at the na meeting would your absence be noticed? Well of course, there's only a dozen of us. You need to make a commitment, he said, one or the other. I don't care which one. And when the going gets tough, you need to stick it out and grow up. It was then that I said, well thanks for sharing buddy and quickly got away from that creep.

I remember going to a local meeting that night and complaining about that guy. I got several giggles from the local members. Apparently, he had been sharing the same way with a bunch of them, and they were just as impressed as I.

I got back to my home area on monday night and the next day, guess where I was? In my usual seat at the noon aa meeting. Tell me I cant go somewhere for my recovery, hah! I just picked up my two year gold coin.

It was my turn to share on the topic of humility. I identified myself, as a drug addict, and shared on the topic. I never talked much about my using, as it wasn't consistent with aa's first step and I felt it would be disrespectful.

As the meeting ended, an old drunk walked up to me and said; we don't talk about drugs in here and then walked out. I sat there flabbergasted. Why, I hadn't talked about drugs at all, I merely identified myself as a "drug" addict. I was still holding onto the chemicals.

Well! The next day, guess where I was, right back in my same seat. Tell me I cant be here, hah! As I sat in that meeting a quiet voice came into my head. It said; what are you doing here? And I thought; resentment! Is that any reason to attend a 12 step fellowship, the voice asked? And I knew the answer to that one. So I got up and left the meeting. I made the commitment to only go to na that day and I haven't looked back since.

The next time I saw that jerk from memphis, I asked him to be my sponsor. I wanted what he had to offer. He talked to me about integrity and putting your money were your mouth is. He spoke the truth to me.

Part 2

The movement.

There was a home group in na that grew up around the literature movement and its primary purpose was to disband. Think about that. An na group who's main purpose was to no longer be needed. It was named "anonymi" and it consisted of a little blue business card that said these words:

Anonymi

A world-wide na home group designed to provide our trusted servants (whose service has sometimes isolated them from their local groups) with the love and understanding they need to survive.

As folks came together to work on our basic text, they were beginning to learn a great deal about na and the disease of addiction. We were starting to crystalize a concept of recovery that was ours alone. Folks from all over the country were getting to meet and share with others who had been clean for a long time and they were going back home chock full of enthusiasm about this new vision of recovery.

My sponsor gave me my card and he gave me an extra one. He said that when you meet someone who needs this give them a card and one extra. He said; there are allot of adicts who have made the commitment to stand up for narcotics anonymous. They are going to na for their recovery and are using our own language. The language developed through the writing of our literature. It is consistent with our first step of powerless-ness over addiction and not the substances we used. As these members go back to there home areas and share this new found commitment, they are often scorned and isolated.

This is what anonymi is for. We meet at conventions and service gatherings to nurture each other. This gives us the strength to go back and continue to stand up for what we believe in. Of course, our hope is that the fellowship will come to this same understanding and one day, we can here the message of recovery from the disease of addiction in narcotics anonymous in any na meeting we attended. When that day comes, we will no longer need anonymi.

I was driving down the highway the other day and I was going to do a history talk for the area. I was trying to remember the name of that home group. You know the one who's primary purpose was to disband. (Tears of gratitude are welling up in my eyes, as I write these lines) I couldn't remember the name "anonymi". It had served it's primary purpose and was no longer needed. I can go into almost any na meeting around the world and hear a clear message of na and the majority of members wouldn't think of going to any other fellowship for there recovery (what a silly idea).

Well it wasn't that silly in 1983. A friend of mine who got clean 25 years ago says; "it takes a certain brand of insanity to bet your life on something that doesn't exist!" Narcotics anonymous, as we know it today, did not exist. We had meetings and allot of sharing and caring but the fellowship was splintered. We had unity but we were not totally unified. There was allot of junior counseling going on. There was only a handful of people going only to na meetings for there recovery and they were very quiet about it.

You know the old saying, there's nothing worse than a convert. It's usually the converts that yell the loudest and I was right up there at the front. We started sharing about only using na approved literature in our na meetings. We would confront members when they said the "s" word. We were quick to tell you that sober stood for "short of being entirely recovering". What ever the new cause was, to clarify our language and our fellowship, we were quick to jump on the bandwagon. We pointed out that the lords prayer was a secular prayer from a specific religion and was inappropriate at na meetings. We would tell folks, if straight is great, does that mean that gay sucks. We come to na to get clean, not straight.

When I heard people share that they were addict/alcoholics that were clean and sober from drugs and alcohol, I knew they weren't surrendering to the same first step I was. We finally learned that it worked allot better to talk to them after the meeting and not cause a scene by shouting out as the poor guy was sharing. The sad part, for me, was that I would immediately discount anything they had to say. And we worked with the newcomers.

Folks from around the country and around the world would come to me and complain about the mixed messages they heard in there meetings. I used to tell them not to waist there breath on the oldtimers, cause they would be quick to tell you that its worked like this for us so why do we have to change. I would share, work with the newcomers. It will only take about a year. Why a year, they would ask? Because in a year, all those newcomers will be in service positions. They will be the gsr's and the area secretaries etc. They will be the leaders. And we were right.

Anonymi was informal in nature, once you got your card and most members never saw one, you put it away and never spoke of it again. You just hung with the winners and recommitted yourself at every convention you could get to. We went to them all. Back then there was only the world, the east coast and one or two state conventions but new ones were happening all the time. It was nothing to go to 8 or more first conventions in a year. Whenever we got there, our na family was waiting with compassion and fellowship. We felt a part of and knew that all the hassles at home were worth it. A friend of mine from michigan had come home with the recovery messagen and the local na's told her; if was so great down there in georgia, why don't you go the f++k back.

Our state, as well as several other east coast regions, were putting in bids for the world convention to be held labor day weekend 1985. One of the bidding sites was washington dc and they put on a mini convention to raise funds for there bid. Of course, being in na, we all showed up to participate. This blew the minds of the dc committee. That all the people bidding against them would drive hundreds of mile to help there function be a success. That's the na way!

Saturday night, after the last meetings, a bunch of us gathered in a room at the college were the function was being held. We talked about the movement, which had no name, at the time. We came up with the tittle e.c.v.c. This stood for the east coast vigilante committee. We keep what we have only with vigilance (sic). We even designed a t- shirt with a picture of the world (taken from our state bid shirt) and placed the banner e.c.v.c. across the globe.

A few months latter, we were all in baltimore for the 6th east coast convention of narcotics anonymous. These conventions were getting huge, with attendance at around 1,500 members. A big convention back then was 450 addicts. As I walked down the path to my dorm room, I came upon a fellow na radical named jimmy from the north east. He pulled out a newsletter and a purple bandanna with the world logo and the word purist across the globe. The news letter wasn't much to look at, just a piece of paper folded in 4ths. It reprinted an article from an early na way magazine.

The article talked about "those members who identify themselves simply as addicts and who use the terms clean and recovery, instead of sober and sobriety. They only go to na meetings for their recovery. "Are they outside na or some fringe group"? The article said no, they are actually na purists. I guess jimmy thought the name vigilante was a little heavy handed.

This movement was not very well organized and there were no officers. It was just allot of well minded individuals who believed in the same things and were doing something about it. Each in there own small way. Jimmy didn't think a whole lot about his little news letter and wasn't even asking for donations to cover cost. He just felt it was important for us to have a vehicle to discuss our issues without censorship from world services. The newsletter was not as small a thing as was first believed. Of course, we all asked jimmy if we could reproduce it and he said sure.

The purist newsletter, as it was quickly coming to be known, was the talk of the convention. Not from the podiums, of course, but in the hallways and out on the lawn. The e.c.v.c. members got there copies and quickly ran home to make duplicates. Jimmy's idea, of course, was to quietly hand them out at functions of na. The rest of us wanted them out on the tables of every na meeting in the world.

I went to the 2nd european service conference in london england that year. In my suitcase was a hundred copies of the purist newsletter. No one told me to do that, I just knew in my heart that this stuff needed to be shared with na overseas. When I got to the conference, I put them out on the table with all the other literature and let the fun begin. The host committee didn't get off on the idea and had a meeting to discuss this "non na approved" literature. They asked me to attend a meeting on the subject but I declined. I wish to make amends to that committee. I was really chickening out from being confronted on my behavior. They voted to remove the purist newsletter from the tables. That was ok with me, the seed had been sewn.

I was on the wold international committee, at the time, and latter that year at a world business meeting I was called into an office for a talk. There was a long table and most of the world level trusted servants were there. The chair of the conference, the chair of the international committee, a dozen or so officers and the director of the world service office, bob stone. I wondered what was up.

Bob gave this long speech about the workings of na and his responsibilities to the world wide fellowship of na. I was being lulled to sleep with this stuff. All of sudden he pulls out the purist newsletter and demands to know about this organization that handed these out. He said that they had wound up on the tables at an na meeting in europe and was I apart of this. I was flabbergasted and of course intimidated by this large gathering. I told them the truth, that there was no big scheme, I just made a bunch of copies and handed them out at the european conference. When they found that it was just one addicts and not some big conspiracy, they excused me.

My sponsor used to bolster me up at times like these. He would look me in the eye and say "either you stand for something or you'll fall for anything". That was one of our greatest rallying cries. I know, because I used to use it on my sponsees. It became the battle call for my friends who decided to continue the fight with the production of the baby blue copies of the basic text.

Part 3

The baby blues.

My na mentor, larry, and a few others decided that they didn't like what world services was doing. Especially with the monies they were making on the sale of our basic text. It's the old adage, if you don't like what folks are doing take away there funding. The ultimate authority is always the purse strings. There was allot of discussion about changes made to our basic text over the years. Changes that we believed were not "fellowship approved".

There was discussion about the exorbitant cost of our basic text, when a smaller cheaper version could be made for about a dollar and a half. Of course the full price of our text goes to provide services to the worldwide fellowship of na and only a small part goes to cover the cost of producing the book. It was those services, plane trips for world level servants etc..., that had brought this idea to fruition.

This is how it was told to me, because I wasn't at the conference yet. The white approval form of the basic text was altered before printing. This was done without the approval of the fellowship. The board of trustees took a few line out of the tradition portions and then sent it to the printer.

I purchased the red $25.00 limited 1st edition of the basic text from my sponsor at the 4th east coast convention of na. It was held at leheigh university in allentown, pa. Each book was numbered and the cost was used to print the regular first edition. Someone showed me that, in the 2nd and 4th traditions, some lines had been removed.

In one tradition it states; what about our service boards our committees, are these things na? The answer is "these things are not na". They are services that a group may or may not choose to utilize. The other line that was clipped was; "service boards and committees cannot decide, rule, dictate, or censor." A service board, "the board of trustees", decided, ruled and dictated to censor those two lines.

These sections were very interesting in their focus on service boards and committees. Basicaly, "narcotics anonymous" was what happens on tuesday or thursday nights etc... and the group service committee that runs the meetings. This took the focus and ego out of service positions on the lower levels. Oh yes, purist were quick to point out that the highest level of service was one addict sharing with another and that all the other levels were bellow that and were only there to serve the next highest level, the one closest to the addict who still suffers. World services was at the very bottom.

The two major camps in na service have allways been split on the matters of inclusive and exclusive committees and the emphasis on the words "trusted" and "servant". The purists believe in trusted "servants". We trust you to serve and if your not doing that, then we will replace you. You are only there to carry out the will of the ultimate authority, group concience. Of course that means the concience of an na home group as it express itself in our service structure.

The other camp believes in "trusted" servants. That we take the time to elect the right people for the job and then we trust them to do it. If we have to go back to the group every time a motion is amended, we will be going back and forth forever and never get anything done. We trust our servants to do there job and if there not, we allways have the ultimate authority to replace them. Smaller committees are more expedient, they can get them job done more efficiently.

Well when the book came out, with the deleted text, there were allot of folks on the east coast that were very upset. They made signs with yosemite sam (the little warner brothers cartoon cowboy with the six guns and the big cowboy hat) on them saying; were gunnin for california! Some members of the board lost there portions and the office, who had started printing a second edition of the basic text, began putting the changes back in. They had an edition with the changes pasted back in (a rare collectors item), until the corrected printed versions came out.

Their was a vote, put out by the world service conference, to return the basic text to it's original form. Of course the purist believed that meant returning the lines that had originally been omitted. When the vote came to the conference floor (so I've been told), it said the original form of the basic text was "the red limited edition" and not "the approval form". We thought we had voted yes to returning the text to it's original form, the "approval form". The motion passed and a 3rd edition came out with the "service board and committee" lines taken back out.

The folks I ran with never forgot, what they called manipulation at the conference. When they created there inexpensive version of the basic text, about 1.75, they put those lines back in and some others as well.

When we voted to make changes in our little white book, the basic text had to be changed again. The fellowship was beginning to believe in our identity and language. We had changed the word recovered, as in "we are recovered addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean", to we are recovering addicts. This showed us that we could make changes in our literature and the fellowship would approve them. Next the board of trustees and world literature took on a rewrite of all our readings, that came from our little white book.

These changes were in line with the purist beliefs. They clarified the disease of addiction concept by taking out inconsistencies in our literature. It used to say that we have a disease like diabetes, tuberculoses or alcoholism. I thought alcohol was a drug. We took out the line that stated "it would appear that we are people with an addictive personality who are strongly susceptible to alcoholic addiction". Are there several kinds of addiction or is there one addiction with several symptoms.

The implied endorsement of alcoholics anonymous was taken out of our readings and put in the introduction of our basic text, a much more fitting place for it. We used to read in our meetings every night, that we are deeply grateful to the aa fellowship for pointing the way for us to a new way of life. Narcotics anonymous ought never endorse finance or lend the na name to any
Related facility our outside enterprise....

The next changes that were done at the world level left a very bitter taste in the mouths of those that worked on the basic text. There was a motion, approved unanimously at the world service conference, to edit the basic text. This was to be simply for grammar, syntax and readability but not to change the meanings of what was written. The problem was that the approval of said changes was to be left in the hands of the world literature committee. At the time, the world literature by laws had created a literature review board that handled those kinds of things. What had taken the fellowship years to write, that hundreds had sweated over every line, working tirelessly so that everyone in na approved them all, was to be handled by a small select group of addicts in world lit.

Many friends of mine quit participating in narcotics anonymous and na services over this issue. When the book came out, it read a good bit better but there were changes galore, of a conceptual nature. The literature committee had read it, liked it and approved it. The fellowship, on the other hand, had opened up the different copies and reviewed it... sentence by sentence and word by word. The heat flew, the conference listened but no changes were made.

So "the baby blue" was produced. It was a bastardization of the basic text (3rd edition revised) with the lines about "service boards and committees" re-inserted. Some addicts in dc and florida and west virginia began making copies and distributing them. Hundreds of copies.

Was there a point to all this. Was it to hold the conference accountable for there actions in the past and in the present. Or was it that someone was benefiting from all those books being purchased. One of the key members selling hundreds of copies held no job during this time.

The guy who was spearheading this was a friend of mine named "grateful dave". Sometimes referred to as hateful dave or grapefruit dave. When I suggested that he surrender this stuff, he said; didn't you always tell me you've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything. You got us started and now your backing out on the fight.

Yea, I guess I was backing out. I had worked the 6th and 7th step of narcotics anonymous and my radical ways were falling by the wayside. I had come to believe that most of my radical comments about world services were based on jealousy, that I wasn't participating. I wasn't "in" with the "in crowd".

Of course I was committed to only going to na for my recovery, still carrying the clear message of recovery from the disease of addiction but I was no longer standing up for what I thought were non-existent virtues. It was no longer us and them. Having been friends with all parties on both sides of all the issues, I had come to believe that it was "we" who made the decisions for narcotics anonymous. We and a loving god. I no longer had to save na, I could turn it over and know that god had it all well in hand.

I said, dave, the saddest part about all this is that by hanging on to this issue you've cut yourself off from the very people that can be there for you. Dave was infected with the virus and it seemed that anyone who tried to get close to him had to deal with all the politics. There was no dave the addict. His quick response was, I had hands laid on me and I've been fine ever since.

That was the last time I saw my friend grateful dave. The world service office was forced to take him to court. He was copying copyrighted material. The office had taken the liberty to copyright the basic text, cause no one else had. The earliest editions had the copyright of carena on them, but that was an idea for a holding company for na's intellectual property trust. It stood for compassion, action, respect and empathy in narcotics anonymous or the simple form care na. Gregg p., the board of trustee chair, was supposed to deal with it when he went back to california from the world lit conference but it was never done.

This, of course, was another major bone of contention to be used in court by dave and his fellow radicals. (God there gonna kill me, if this ever gets printed.) the office didn't have the authority to the rights to the book, as they had not been given the authority by the fellowship to do so. Of course the office was doing the right thing by making sure that our fellowships words were copyrighted, by someone in na. If not, anyone could produce there own basic text and so the guys had.

The court case was very interesting. The judge thought it was all pretty ridiculous that a group of people who's sole purpose was to save other peoples lives, was fighting about such trivial stuff. He told the office, you don't want me to decide this and the office said, yes we do.

The judge, being the wise man that he was, asked grateful dave what he wanted. Dave wanted a true group conscience. The judge instructed the world service office to have placed on the conference agenda, if there was room, a motion. To have every individual na group vote, as to which version of the basic text was to be the real version.

The judge gave strict guide lines as to how this vote was to be taken and that each and every na group would get a chance to vote. Rather than areas tally votes and then regions and so on, the sum total of all the voting na groups would be recorded and that would be the voice of our fellowship. Both parties agreed and the suit was dropped. The vote was never taken. Grateful dave died of aids. Another friend of mine, who was very instrumental in writing the basic text, has taken up the cause. There are allot of "underground" na newsletters out there with what many say tells "the real story" of what's going on in na services. Ask around and you'll find them. You need to hear all sides.

Why was the motion never addressed, why was there never a world wide vote. Well, the judge had given the office and the conference an out. He said; "to place the motion on the conference agenda, if they have the time available" well they just didn't seem to have the time.

So, was all this in vain. The baby blues haven't been printed in a while. The chief protagonists are out of the picture, either by death, relapse or having left the fellowship. Yes, some of those early purists no longer attend na for there recovery. I'm still here and so is jimmy, the little guy from the north east.
Most who came before us and around us are gone. My friend larry north died from emphysema and was buried at arlington national cemetary. Goodbye my old friend, these are probably the only words about you that will ever be printed in narcotics anonymous and you, of all people, deserve a whole lot more. Was it all for naught.

Allot of good was achieved by the purists and there followers. Currently, a small version of the text has been created by the world service office, which is inexpensive and carries enough in it to help any addict recover. It's a little larger than the white book and you can find it at most na meetings.

The fellowship created an intellectual property trust for our literature. It is now owned, in perpetuity, by the fellowship of narcotics anonymous and not the world service office. More importantly, everyone in power knows that there are folks out there watching what they do and say. Be greatful for the radicals because they will keep you on your toes.

Over the years na has become the primary and only fellowship for more than a hundred thousand recovering addicts who are "clean". They find there recovery soley in narcotics anonymous. And for me, the two lines that come to mind are;

Our common welfare should come first, personal recovery depends on na unity!

And

My gratitude speaks when I care and share with others the na way!

Why just this afternoon, I went to a meeting. It was in the local na club house, in the town we had just moved to...

And I didn't have to change a single word.

In loving service,

Anonymi in alabama

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