[1] Simplicity is the keynote of key to our symbol; it follows imitates the simplicity of our fellowship Fellowship. [2] We could find all All sorts of occult and esoteric connotations can be found in the its simple outlines, but foremost in our the minds of the Fellowship were are easily understood meanings and relationships. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Frontispiece

[1] The outer circle denotes a universal and total program that has room within it for all manifestations of the recovering and wholly recovered person. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Frontispiece

[1] The square, whose lines are defined, is easily seen and understood, but there are other unseen parts of the symbol. [2] The square base denotes Goodwill Good will, the ground of both the fellowship Fellowship and a member the members of our society. [3] Goodwill Good will is best exemplified in service and ; proper service is "Doing the right thing for the right reason." [4] When this Good will supports and motivates both the individual and the fellowship Fellowship, we are fully whole and wholly free. [5] Probably the last to be lost to freedom will be the stigma of being an addict. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Frontispiece. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph four, greybook, Frontispiece.

[1] Actually, it It is the four pyramid sides which that rise from this the base in a three-dimensional figure that that are the represent Self, Society, Service, and God. [2] All rise to the point of Freedom. [3] All parts thus far are closely related to the needs and aims of the addict who is seeking recovery, and to the purpose of the fellowship Fellowship seeking which is to make recovery available to all. [4] The greater the base, (as we grow in unity in numbers and in fellowship) the broader the sides of the pyramid and the higher the point of freedom. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Frontispiece. [3]; [4] Paragraph four, greybook, Frontispiece.

FORWORD PREFACE

"The full fruit of a labor of love lives in the harvest, and that always comes in its right season . . ." (greybook)

[1] The material for this book was drawn from the personal experiences of recovering addicts within the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] The text This Basic Text is based on an outline derived from the pamphlet (our "white book"), "Narcotics Anonymous." our "white book," Narcotics Anonymous. [3] The first eight chapters are based on the topic headings in the white book and carry the same title. [4] We have included a A ninth chapter has been included, Just for Today, and as well as a tenth chapter, More Will Be Revealed. [5] Following is a brief history of the book. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph one, greybook, Forword. [5] Paragraph two, greybook, Forword

[1] Narcotics Anonymous was formed in July 1953, with the first meeting held in Southern California. [2] The Fellowship grew erratically but quickly spread to various parts of the United States. [3] From the Beginning, while membership was still very small and the need was seen evident for a book on recovery to help strengthen the Fellowship. [4] The pamphlet, "Narcotics Anonymous," The white book, Narcotics Anonymous, was published in 1962. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Forword

[1] However, the The Fellowship still had little structure, however, and the 1960’s were a period of struggle. [2] Membership grew rapidly for a time and then began to decline. [3] The need for more specific direction was readily apparent. [4] N.A. demonstrated its maturity in 1972, when a World Service Office (WSO) was opened in Los Angeles. [5] The W.S.O. WSO has brought the needed unity and sense of purpose to the Fellowship. [All] Paragraph four, greybook, Forword

[1] The opening of the W.S.O. WSO brought stability to the growth of the needed unity and sense of purpose to the Fellowship. [2] Today, there are many thousand recovering addicts in hundreds thousands of meetings all across the United States and in many foreign countries. [3] Today the World Service Office truly serves a worldwide Fellowship. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Forword

[1] Narcotics Anonymous has long recognized the need for a complete text Basic Text on addiction -- a book about addicts, by addicts and for addicts, which would serve us much like the A.A. "Big Book" has served that Fellowship. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Forword

[1] This effort was strengthened shortly, after the formation of W.S.O. WSO, with the publication of The N.A. Tree, a pamphlet on service work. [2] This pamphlet was the original service manual of the Fellowship. [3] It has been followed by subsequent and more comprehensive volumes, and now the N.A. Service Manual. [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Forword

[1] The manual outlined a service structure which that included a World Service Conference (WSC). [2] The W.S.C. WSC, in turn, included a Literature Committee. [3] With the encouragement of W.S.O. WSO, several members of the Board of Trustees, and the Conference, work began. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Forword

[1] As the cry for literature, particularly a comprehensive text, became more widespread, the W.S.C. WSC Literature committee Committee developed. [2] In October 1979, the first World Literature Conference was held in Wichita, Kansas, followed by conferences in Lincoln, Nebraska; Memphis, Tennessee; Santa Monica, California; Warren, Ohio; and Miami, Florida. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Forword

[1] The W.S.C. WSC Literature Committee Subcommittee, working in conference and as individuals, have has collected hundreds of pages of material from members and groups throughout the Fellowship. [2] This material has been laboriously catalogued, edited, rewritten, assembled, dismembered and reassembled. [3] Dozens of area and regional representatives working with the Literature Committee have dedicated weeks and thousands of man-hours to produce the work here presented here. [4] But more importantly, those members have conscientiously sought to insure ensure a "group conscience" text. [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Forword

[1] In keeping with the spirit of anonymity, we, the WSC Literature Committee Subcommittee, feel it appropriate to express our special gratitude and appreciation to the Fellowship as a whole, especially the many of you who contributed material for inclusion in the book. [2] We feel that this book is a synthesis of the collective Group Conscience group conscience of the entire Fellowship and that every single idea submitted is included in the work in some form or another. [All] Paragraph ten, greybook, Forword

[1] The volume is intended as a textbook for every addict seeking recovery. [2] As addicts, we know the pain of addiction, but we also know the joy of recovery we have found in the Fellowship and on the program of Narcotics Anonymous. [3] We believe the time has come to share our recovery, in written form, with all who desire what we have found. [4] Appropriately, this book is devoted to informing every addict: JUST FOR TODAY, YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN! [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Forword. [4] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Forword

[1] Therefore,

[2] With gratitude in our cleanliness recovery, we dedicate our N.A. book to the loving service of our Higher Power that . [3] That through the development of a conscious contact with God, no addict seeking recovery need die without having had a chance to find a better way of life. [All] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Forword

[1] We remain trusted servants in gratitude and loving service.

[2] WORLD LITERATURE CONFERENCE-III LITERATURE SUBCOMMITTEE

[3] WORLD SERVICE CONFERENCE-LITERATURE COMMITTEE,

[4] NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS At Memphis, Tennessee February 8, 1981 [All] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Forword.

[1] We cannot change the nature of the Addict addict or Addiction addiction. [2] We can help to change the old lie "Once an addict, always an addict," by striving to make recovery more available. [3] God, help us to remember this difference. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Frontispiece

[1] This book is the shared common and personal experience of the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] We welcome you to read this text, trusting hoping that you will choose to share with us the new life that we have found. [3] We have by no means found a "cure" cure for addiction. [4] We offer only a proven plan for daily recovery. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Introduction

[1] In N.A., we follow a program adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. [2] In the last forty-five years, more More than one million people have recovered in A.A., most of them just as hopelessly addicted to alcohol as we were to drugs. [3] We are grateful to the A.A. Fellowship for showing us the way to a new life. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Introduction.

[1] The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, as adapted from A.A. are the basis of our recovery program. [2] We have only broadened the their perspective of addiction. [3] We follow the same path with a single exception; our identification as addicts is all-inclusive in with respect to any mood-changing, mind-altering substance. [4] "Alcoholism" did not cover the total spectrum as comprehensively as does Alcoholism is too limited a term for us; our problem is not a specific substance, it is a disease called addiction. [5] We believe that as a fellowship, we have been guided by a Greater Consciousness as a Fellowship, and are grateful for the Direction direction that has enabled us to build upon a proven program of recovery. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Introduction

[1] We have come to Narcotics Anonymous by various means and believe that as our common denominator is that we failed to come to terms with our addictions, however varied addiction. [2] Because of the degree and variety of addictions addicts found within our Fellowship, we have approached approach the solution contained within this book in general terms. [3] We pray that we have been searching and thorough, so that every addict who reads this volume will find the hope that we have found. [All] Paragraph four, greybook, Introduction

[1] Based on our collective experience, we believe that every addict, including the "potential" potential addict, suffers from an incurable disease of body, mind, and spirit. [2] We were in the grip of a hopeless dilemma. The , the solution of which is spiritual in nature. [3] Therefore, this book will deal in great part with spiritual matters. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Introduction

[1] We are not a religious organization. [2] Our program is a set of spiritual principles through which we are recovering from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. [3] Throughout the compiling of this work, the prevailing theme has been the conscious prayer and meditation: we have prayed: [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Introduction

[1] "GOD, grant us knowledge that we may write according to Your Divine precepts. [2] ; instill Instill in us a sense of Your purpose. [3] , make Make us servants of Your will and grant us a bond of selflessness, that this may truly be Your work, not ours -- in order that no addict, anywhere, need die from the horrors of addiction." [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Introduction

[1] Everything Every thing that occurs in the course of N.A. service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers. [2] It was for this reason that we began this work. [3] We must always remember that as individual members, groups and service committees, we are not and should never be in competition with each other. [4] We work separately and together to help the newcomer and for our common good. [5] We have learned, painfully, that internal strife cripples our Fellowship; it prevents us from providing the services necessary for growth. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Introduction

[1] It is our hope that this book will help the suffering addict find the solution that we have found. [2] Our purpose is to remain clean, just for today, and to carry the message of recovery

Thank you,

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Introduction

BOOK ONE

[1] Many books have been written about the nature of addiction. [2] This book primarily concerns itself with the nature of recovery. [3] If you are an addict and have found this book, please give yourself a break and read it.! [All] Paragraph twenty-nine, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Most of us do not have to think twice about this question. [2] WE KNOW! [3] Our whole life and thinking is was centered in drugs in one form or another -- the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. [4] We use to live and live to use. We lived to use and used to live. [5] Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs. [6] We are people in the grip of a continuing and Progressive progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions and death. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] Those of us who have found the Program of Narcotics Anonymous do not have to think twice about this question: Who is an addict? [2] We know! [3] The following is our experience.

[1] As addicts, we are people whose use of any mind-altering, mood-changing substance causes a problem in any area of life. [2] Our addiction involved Addiction is a disease that involves more than drug the use of drugs. [3] Some recovering addicts of us believe that the our disease was present long before the first pill, fix, drink or toke time we used. [2] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Chapter One [3] Paragraph forty-nine, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] We had used all sorts of drugs over the years and experienced numerous living problems as the result of our using and yet Most of us did not consider ourselves addicted before coming to the Narcotics Anonymous Program. [2] The problem was that most of the The information available to us, before coming to the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, came to us from misinformed people or others who also used heavily but did not consider themselves to be addicted. [3] We did not see ourselves as being addicted, as As long as we could periodically stop using for a day, a week, or even a month or more while, we thought we were all right. [4] We looked at the stopping, not the using. [5] Of course, as As our addiction progressed, we thought of stopping less and less. [6] Many of us had reached the point where we saw ourselves hopelessly deteriorating; by that time Only in desperation did we asked ask ourselves, "Could it be the drugs?" [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We did not choose to become addicts. [2] We suffer from a disease that expresses itself in ways that are anti-social and that makes detection, diagnosis and treatment difficult.

[1] Addiction Our disease isolated us from people except for the when we were getting, using and finding ways and means to get more. [2] Hostile, resentful, self-centered and self-seeking, we cut ourselves off all from the outside interests from our lives world. [3] Anything not completely familiar became alien and dangerous. [4] Our world shrank and isolation became our life. [5] We used in order to survive. [6] It was the only way of life that we knew. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph twenty-four, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We never considered ourselves addicts, although some Some of us have used, misused and abused drugs for half of our lives or more and still did not consider ourselves addicts. [2] Through all of this, we kept telling ourselves, "I can handle it." [3] The term "drug addict" conjured up Our misconceptions about the nature of addiction included visions of violence, street crime, fear of the law, and dirty needles and jail. [1]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter One

[1] When our addiction is was treated as a crime or moral deficiency, we become became rebellious and are were driven deeper into our isolation. [2] Some of the highs felt great, especially in the beginning but eventually the things that we had to tolerate do to support our habits continue using reflected desperation. [3] We were caught in the grip of our disease. [4] We were forced to survive any way that we could. [5] We manipulated people and conditions and tried to control all of their actions everything around us. [6] We sank to the depths of stealing, lying, prostituting ourselves, and cheating our friends lied, stole, cheated and sold ourselves. [7] We had to have drugs regardless of the cost. [8] Failure and fear began to invade our lives. [1] Paragraph twenty-six, greybook, Chapter One. [2]; [3]; [5]; [6] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter One

[1] The mental One aspect of our addiction comes with was our inability to deal with life on its own life’s terms. [2] We tried drugs and combinations of drugs in an effort to cope with a seemingly hostile world. [3] We dreamed of finding the right medication or fix, the magic elixir, a magic formula that would solve our ultimate problem -- ourselves. [4] The fact is was that we cannot successfully handle could not use any mind-altering or mood-changing substance, including marijuana and alcohol, successfully. [5] Drugs ceased to make us feel good. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph eighteen, greybook, Chapter One. [5] Paragraph nineteen, greybook, Chapter One

[1] At times, we were defensive about our addiction and justified our right to use, especially when we had legal prescriptions. [2] Many of us have participated in sub-cultural or We were proud of the sometimes illegal and often bizarre behaviors that may have given us different experiences than those of the non-addict. typified our using. [3] We "forgot" about the times when we sat alone and were consumed by fear and self-pity. [4] We fell into a pattern of selective thinking. [5] We only remembered the good drug experiences. [6] We justified and rationalized the things that we did to keep from being sick or going crazy. [7] We ignored the times when life seemed to be a nightmare. [8] We avoided the reality of our addiction. [2] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Higher mental and emotional functions, such as conscience and the ability to love, are were sharply affected by our use of drugs. [2] Our living Living skills were reduced to the animal level, if we have suffered long enough. [3] Our spirit was broken. [4] The person within is submerged and the The capacity to be feel human is was lost. [5] This is an seems extreme state, but most many of us have been there in this state of mind. [1]; [2]; [4]; [5] Paragraph thirty-five, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We were constantly searching for the "the answer"--searching for meaninglessness and purposelessness answer -- that person, place or thing that would make everything all right. [2] While using, we We lacked the ability to cope with day-today affairs daily living. [3] As our addiction caught up to us, we progressed, many of us found ourselves in and out of hospitals, jails and institutions more and more. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] Because of these These experiences , we began to realize how screwed up indicated that there was something wrong with our lives really were. [2] We just wanted an easy way out. [3] Suicide was on many of our minds. Some of us thought of suicide. [4] Our suicide attempts were often usually feeble and only helped to contribute to our feelings of worthlessness. [5] We were caught trapped in an the illusion of "what if", "if only" and "just one more try time." [6] When we did seek help, we were only looking for the absence of pain. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] We had regained good physical health many times, only to relapse lose it by using again. [2] Our past records show track record shows that it is impossible for us , as addicts, to use with control, no matter how well we may appear to be in control of our feelings successfully. [3] No matter how well we may appear to be in control, using drugs always brings us to our knees. [1]; [2] Paragraph thirty-three, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Like other incurable diseases, addiction can be arrested. [2] We agree that there is nothing shameful about being an addict, provided we accept our dilemma and honestly and take positive action. [3] We are willing to admit without reservation that we are "allergic" allergic to drugs. [4] Common sense tells us that it would be insane to go back to the source of our "allergy." allergy. [5] We, as recovering addicts, can tell you Our experience indicates that medicine cannot "cure" cure our illness. [All] Paragraph thirty-three, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Many Although physical and mental tolerance play a role, many drugs require no extended period of use to trigger allergic reactions , although physical and mental tolerance can play a role. [2] It is Our reaction to drugs is what makes us addicts, not how much we use that makes us addicts, but what it does to us. [All] Paragraph forty-four, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We admitted that we used drugs, but many Many of us did not think that we had a problem with drugs until The user may be unaware that a problem exists until, for example, the drugs run ran out and they begin to feel the early stages of withdrawal. [2] Many of us Even when others told us that we had a problem, we were convinced that we were right and the world was wrong. [3] , and We used this belief to justify our self-destructive behavior. [4] Many of us We developed a loser's point of view which that enabled us to pursue our addiction without the restraints of concern about for our own well-being or the well-being of others. [5] We began to feel that the drugs were killing us long before we could ever admit it to anyone else. [6] Or, they keep using but start to notice if they try We noticed that if we tried to stop , that they are unable, or when using, we couldn’t. [7] they have We suspected that we had lost control over the amount drugs and had no power to stop. [1] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter One. [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter One. [6]; [7] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] Certain things followed as usage continues we continued to use. [2] Setting aside the physical effects of addiction, as the regularity of usage increases, we We become became accustomed to a state of mind that is common to addicts. [3] ; we We forget forgot what it was like before we started using; We forget the we forgot about social graces. [4] We acquire weird acquired strange habits and mannerisms. [5] We forget forgot how to work; we forgot how to play; we forget forgot how to express ourselves and how to show concern for others. [6] and we We forget forgot how to feel. [All] Paragraph forty-four, greybook, Chapter One

[1] While using, we lived in another world. [2] As practicing addicts, we could really get down and if we We experienced a periodic jolt of only periodic jolts of reality or self-awareness. [3] , it It seemed as if that we were at last two people instead of one, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. [4] Temporarily clean, we We ran around trying and tried to get it all squared away our lives together before our next spree run. [5] Sometimes we could do this very well, but later, it seemed was less important , and at the same time, and more impossible. [6] In the end, Dr. Jekyll died and Mr. Hyde took over. [2]; [3[; [4]; [5] Paragraph five, greybook,Chapter One

[1] Each of us has a few things that we never did. [2] We cannot let these things become excuses to use again. [3] Some of us feel lonely because of differences between us and other members. [4] This feeling makes it difficult to give up old connections and old habits. [5] We all have different tolerances for pain. [6] Some addicts needed to go to greater extremes than others. [7] Some of us found that we had enough when we realized that we were getting high too often and it was affecting our daily lives.

[1] At first, We we were using in a manner which that seemed to be social or at least controllable. [2] with We had little indication of the disaster which that the future held for us. [3] At some point, our using became uncontrollable and definitely anti-social. [4] This phase of uncontrollable using is suffering addiction and usually began when things were going well, and we were in situations that allowed us to use as frequently as we wanted. [5] It is marked by a decline and This was usually the end of the good living as we knew it times. [6] We who are recovering and thus alive today, may have tried to moderate, substitute or even stop using, but we went from a state of drugged success and well-being to complete spiritual, mental and emotional bankruptcy. [7] This state rate of decline varies in length from addict to addict. [8] We can only say that for some it was a matter of months or even days and for others it was a matter of years Whether it occurs in years or days, it is all downhill. [9] Those of us that did that did not seek to change died who don’t die from the disease went will go on to prison, or were committed to mental institutions as hopelessly insane or complete demoralization as the disease progresses. [1]; [2] Paragraph fifty, greybook, Chapter One. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9] Paragraph fifty-one, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Where these Drugs once had given us the feeling that we could handle whatever situation might come down, develop. [2] We became aware , however, that these same drugs were drug usage was largely responsible for our having gotten into some of our very worst predicaments. [3] Some of us may spend the rest of our lives in jail for a drug-related crime or a crime committed under the influence. [All] Paragraph forty-eight, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We had to reach our bottom, before we were willing to stop. [2] We were finally motivated to seek help in the latter stage of our addiction. [3] Then it was easier for us to see the destruction, disaster and delusion of our using. [4] It was harder to deny our addiction when problems were staring us in the face.

[1] Some of us first saw the effects in of addiction on the people we were close to closest to us. [2] We became were very dependent on them to carry us emotionally through life. [3] We were always left felt angry, disappointed and hurt when they had found other interests, other friends and loved ones. [4] We regretted the past, feared dreaded the future, and we weren’t too thrilled about the present. [5] After years of searching, we were more unhappy and less satisfied than when it all began. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We realized that drugs were enslaving Our addictions enslaved us instead of setting us free. [2] We were prisoners in of our own mind and were condemned to slow execution by our own sense of guilt. [3] We had all but given gave up on the hope that we would ever getting help stop using drugs. [4] Our previous attempts to stay clean had always failed, causing us many years of pain and misery. [All] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter One

[1] As addicts, we have an incurable disease called addiction. [2] Addiction The disease is chronic, progressive and fatal. [3] Addiction However, it is a treatable disease: as soon as we begin to "treat" our addiction by working the Twelve Steps that have worked repeatedly, we experience very positive results. [4] We feel from our experience that each individual has to answer the question, "Am I an addict?" [5] How we got the disease, however, is of no immediate importance to us. [6] What concerns us at present is how we can continue our own We are concerned with recovery while helping the addict who still suffers. [2] Paragraph thirty-two, greybook, Chapter One. [3] Paragraph twenty-six, greybook, Chapter One. [4] Paragraph eleven, grey book, Chapter One [5]; [6] Paragraph forty-nine, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] We begin to treat our addiction by not using. [2] Many of us sought answers but failed to find any workable solution until we found each other. [3] Once we identify ourselves as addicts, help becomes possible. [4] We can see a little of ourselves in every addict and see a little of them in us. [5] This insight lets us help one another. [6] Our futures appeared future seemed hopeless until we found clean addicts who were willing to share with us. [7] Denial of our addiction is what kept us sick and, but our honest admission of our addiction enabled us to stop using. [8] The people of Narcotics Anonymous told us that they were recovering addicts and that they were recovering who had learned to live without drugs. [9] If they could do it, so could we. [6]; [7]; [8]; [9] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Chapter One

[1] The only alternatives to recovery are jails, institutions, dereliction and death. [2] Unfortunately, our disease makes us deny our addiction. [3] If you are an addict, you can find a new way of life through the N.A. Program. [4] We have become very grateful in the course of our recovery. [5] Through abstinence and through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, our lives have become useful.

[1] We realize that we are never cured, and that we carry the disease within us to the grave for the rest of our lives. [2] We have a disease, but we do recover. [3] Each day we are given another chance. [4] We addicts, recovering in N.A., are convinced that there is only one way for us to live, and that is the N.A. way. [1]; [4] Paragraph fifty-three, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] N.A. is a non-profit fellowship nonprofit Fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. [2] We are recovered recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. [3] This is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs. [4] There is only "One" one requirement for membership, the honest desire to stop using. [5] There are no musts in N.A. but we We suggest that you keep an open mind and give yourself a break. [6] Our program is a set of principles written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives. [7] The most important thing about them is that "They work." they work. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] There are no strings attached to N.A. [2] We are not affiliated with any other organizations, we have no leaders no initiation fees or dues, no pledges to sign, no promises to make to anyone. [3] We are not connected with any political, religious or law enforcement groups, and are under no surveillance at any time. [4] Anyone may join us, regardless of age, race, color, sexual identity, creed, religion or lack of religion. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help. [2] The newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, because we can only keep what we have by giving it away. [3] We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to out meetings regularly stay clean. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] Narcotics Anonymous is a Fellowship of men and women who are learning to live without drugs. [2] We are a nonprofit society and have no dues or fees of any kind. [3] Each of us has paid the price of membership. [3] We have paid for the right to recover with our pain.

[1] Surviving against all odds, we are addicts who meet regularly. [2] Addicts We respond instinctively to honest sharing The fact that the addict can feel the unconditional love and judge for themselves the "qualifications" revealed in and listen to the stories of recovering addicts, awakens the notion that at last there might be hope our members for the message of recovery. [3] We realize that there is hope for us at last. [2] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] In the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous we We make use of things the tools that have worked for those who have gone before us: other recovering addicts who have learned in N.A. to live without drugs. [2] the Twelve Steps, The Twelve Steps the principles and the many are positive tools that enable us to make our recovery possible. [3] We have one Our primary purpose is to stay clean and to help others who may turn to us for help carry the message to the addict who still suffers. [4] We are united by our common problem of addiction. [5] By meeting, talking with, and helping other addicts, we are somehow able to stay clean and to lose the compulsion to use, once a dominant force in our lives. [6] The newcomer loses his fear when he discovers that N.A. members give is the most important person at any meeting, because we can only keep what we have by giving it away the message of cleanliness in order to stay clean. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Two. [6] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] As a result, Narcotics Anonymous has had more than twenty-five many years of trial-and-error experience , face-to-face, with literally hundreds of thousands of addicts. [2] This mass of intensive first hand The firsthand experience with all kinds of problem drug users, in all phases of illness and recovery is of unparalleled, in therapeutic value. [3] Narcotics Anonymous is We are here to share freely with any addict who wants it to recover. [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] Our message of recovery is based on our own experience. [2] Before coming to the Fellowship, we exhausted ourselves by trying to use successfully, and trying to find out wondering what was wrong with us. [3] After coming to N.A. Anonymous Fellowship, we found ourselves among a very special group of people who have suffered like us and found recovery. [4] Here In their experiences, freely shared, we found hope for ourselves. [5] If the Narcotics Anonymous program worked for them, it might would work for us. [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] The only requirement to be a member of Narcotics Anonymous for membership is a desire to stop using. [2] We have seen it the program work for every one any addict who honestly and sincerely wanted wants to stop using. [3] We don’t have to be clean when we get here, but after the first meeting, we suggest that you newcomers keep coming back to the meetings and come back clean. [4] We don’t have to wait for and overdose or a jail sentence, to get help from N.A.; Narcotics Anonymous. [5] nor is addiction Addiction is not a hopeless condition from which there is no recovery. [1]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twenty-one, greybook, Chapter Two [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] The main point is that we We meet people, addicts like ourselves, yet they who are clean for months or years. [2] We watched and listened to them openly and realized We watch, listen and realize that these people had they have found a way to live and be happy enjoy life without drugs. [3] We don’t want have to settle for the limitations of the past. [4] We want to can examine and re-examine all our old ideas. [5] , and We can constantly improve on them our old ideas or replace them with new ones. [6] We , in N.A., are men and women who have discovered and admitted that we are powerless over our addictions addiction. [7] When we use, we lose. [1]; [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Two. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Chapter Two. [6] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Even those men and women finally came to the point where they realized that using was interfering with normal living. When they When we discovered that they we could not live with or without drugs, they, too, we sought to help themselves through N.A., rather than prolonging their pain prolong our suffering. [2] The program works a miracle in our hearts lives. [3] We become new different people. [4] The Steps Working the steps and maintaining abstinence give us a daily reprieve from our self-imposed life sentences. [5] We become free to move about without compulsion or guilt live. [All] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] We want desperately for the our place where addicts recover of recovery to be a safe place, free from outside influences. [2] We do have one must in N.A.: For the protection of the Fellowship, we insist that no drugs or paraphernalia be ON YOUR PERSON AT MEETINGS brought to any meeting. [1]; [2] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] We feel totally free to express ourselves within the Fellowship, because no law enforcement agencies are not involved. [2] Our meetings have an atmosphere of empathy. [3] No one judges, stereotypes, or moralizes us In accordance with the principles of recovery, we try not to judge, stereotype or moralize with each other. [4] We are not recruited and it doesn't membership does not cost anything. [5] N.A. does not provide counseling or social services. [1]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] Our meetings are a process of identification, hope and sharing. [2] The heart of N.A. beats when two addicts share their recovery. [3] What we do becomes real for us when we share it. [4] This happens on a larger scale in our regular meetings. [5] A meeting happens when two or more addicts gather to help each other stay clean.

[1] At the beginning of the meeting, we read N.A. literature that is available to anyone. [2] Some meetings have speakers, topic discussions or both. [3] Closed meetings are for addicts or those who think they might have a drug problem. [4] Open meeting welcome anyone wishing to experience our fellowship. [5] The atmosphere of recovery is protected by our Twelve Traditions. [6] We are fully self-supporting through voluntary contributions from our members. [7] Regardless of where the meeting takes place, we remain unaffiliated. [8] Meetings provide a place to be with fellow addicts. [9] All we need are two addicts, caring and sharing, to make a meeting.

[1] Let We let new ideas flow into you us. [2] Ask We ask questions. [3] We share what we have learned about living without drugs. [4] The Though the principles of living incorporated in the Twelve Steps may seem strange to you, but us at first, the most important thing about them is that they work. [5] Our program is in fact a way of life. [6] We learn the value of spiritual principles such as humility, surrender, humility and service from reading the N.A. literature, going to meetings and working the steps. [7] We find that our lives steadily improve, if we maintain abstinence from mind-altering, mood-changing chemicals and work the Twelve Steps to sustain our recovery. [8] Living this program gives us a relationship with a Power greater than ourselves, corrects defects and leads us to help others. [9] Where there has been wrong, the program teaches us the spirit of forgiveness. [1]; [2]; [4] Paragraph eighteen, greybook, Chapter Two. [5]; [6] Paragraph twenty-five, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Many books have been written about the nature of addiction. [2] This book primarily concerns itself with the nature of recovery. [3] If you are an addict and have found this book, please give yourself a break and read it. [All] Paragraph twenty-nine, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Before coming to the fellowship Fellowship of N.A., we could not manage our own lives. [2] , weWe could not live and enjoy life as other people do. [3] We had to have something different and we thought we had found it in drugs. [4] We placed their use ahead of the welfare of our families, our wives, husbands, and our children. [5] We had to have drugs at all costs. [6] We did many people great harm, but most of all we harmed ourselves. [7] Through our inability to accept personal responsibilities we were actually creating our own problems. [8] We seemed to be incapable of facing life on its own terms. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] Most of us realized that in our addictions, addiction we were slowly committing suicide, but addiction is such a cunning enemies enemy of life are narcotics and sedation that we had lost the power to do anything about it. [2] Jail did not help us at all Many of us ended up in jail, or sought help through medicine, religion and psychiatry seemed to have no answers for us that we could use. [3] None of these methods was sufficient for us. [4] All these methods having failed for us, Our disease always resurfaced or continued to progress until in desperation, we sought help from each other in Narcotics Anonymous. [1]; [2]; [4] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] After coming to N.A. we realized we were sick people. [2] who We suffered from a disease Alcoholism, Diabetes or Tuberculosis. from which There there is no known "Cure" cure for these all,. [3] however, it can It can, however, be arrested at some point, and "recovery" recovery is then possible. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] We are addicts seeking recovery. [2] We used drugs to cover our feelings, and did whatever was necessary to get drugs. [3] Many of us woke up sick, unable to make it to work or went to work loaded. [4] Many of us stole to support our habit. [5] We hurt the ones we loved, whatever it took to get that fix, pill, drink or joint. [6] We did all these things and told ourselves we could handle it, "I can handle it." [7] Eventually we started We were looking for a way out. [8] We didn't couldn’t face life on life’s terms. [9] In the beginning, using was fun. [10] It For us using became a habit and then it finally was necessary for survival. [11] The progression of the disease was not apparent to us. [12] We continued on the path of destruction, unaware of where it was leading us. [13] We had the disease were addicts and did not know it. [14] We avoided Through drugs, we tried to avoid reality through the use of drugs, . The pain and misery was postponed. [15] When we came down, our When the drugs wore off, we realized that we still had the same problems came back, and they were compounded with additional problems that had built up becoming worse. [16] We felt the need to use sought relief by using again and again -- more drugs, more often as our disease progressed. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12]; [13]; [14]; [15]; [16] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Three.

[1] We knew we needed sought help, but had nowhere to go and found none. [2] Doctors Often doctors didn’t understand our dilemma. [3] Usually they helped our disease They tried to help by giving us prescriptions medication. [4] Our husbands, wives and loved ones gave us anything in hopes what they had and drained themselves in the hope that we would stop using or would get better. [5] We tried substituting one drug for another and this only created a vicious cycle but this only prolonged our pain. [6] We tried limiting our usage to "social" social amounts , but our without success with this was short-lived or non-existent. [7] There is no such thing as a social addict. [8] Some of us sought spiritual guidance an answer through churches, different religions, meditation and or cultism. [9] Some of us sought a cure by geographic change. [10] , blaming We blamed our surroundings and living situations for our problem problems. [11] This attempt just to cure our problems by moving gave us new people to take advantage of a chance to take advantage of new people. [12] Some of us sought approval through sexual activities and sex or change of peers friends. [13] This approval-seeking got behavior carried us back where we started from, or worse further into our addiction. [14] Some of us tried marriage, divorce or desertion of our families. [15] Regardless of what we tried, we could not escape from our disease. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Three. [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12]; [13]; [14] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] We had reached a point in our lives where we had become a lost cause to society felt like a lost cause. [2] Our We had little worth to our jobs, families and friends was little or none family, friends or on the job. [3] Some of Many of us became were unemployed and unemployable. [4] Success Any form of success was scary frightening and unfamiliar. [5] We didn’t know what to do about it. [6] As the feeling of self-loathing grew, we had needed to use more and more to mask the feeling of hate our feelings. [7] We were sick and tired of pain and trouble. [8] We were frightened and ran from the fear. [9] , but no No matter how far we ran, the fear followed us we always carried fear with us. [10] We were hopeless, useless and lost. [11] Failure had become our way of life and self-esteem was non-existent. [12] Perhaps the most painful feeling of all was the desperation. [13] Isolation and denial of our addiction kept us moving along this downhill path. [14] Any hope of getting better disappeared. [15] Helplessness, emptiness and fear became a our way of life. [16] We were complete failures. [17] Personality change was what we really needed. [18] Change from a self-destructing to a self-affirming pattern self-destructive patterns of living was imperative life became necessary. [19] When we lie, cheat, or steal, lied, cheated or stole, we degrade degraded ourselves in our own eyes. [20] We have had enough of self-destruction. [21] We started experiencing how powerless we really were experienced our powerlessness. [22] When nothing seemed to relieve the relieved our paranoia and fear. We , we hit bottom and became ready to ask for help and accept help. [1]; [2] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Three. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Three. [15]; [16]; [17]; [18]; [21]; [22] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Chapter Three. [19]; [20] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Three.

[1] We were searching for an answer. We when we reached out and found the hand of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] We came to our first N.A. meeting in utter defeat and didn’t know what to expect. [3] After sitting in a meeting, or several meetings, we felt we began to feel that people cared and were willing to be patient with us help. [4] Although our heads minds told us that we would never make it, the people in the Fellowship gave us hope by insisting that we could recover. [5] We found that no matter what our past thoughts or past actions were, others had preceded us felt and done the same. [6] Surrounded by fellow addicts, we realized that we were not alone anymore. [7] Nothing Recovery is what happens in the room but recovery our meetings. [8] ; everyone's life is Our lives are at stake. [9] We were told that if we put things ahead of our clean time, We found that by putting recovery first, the program would not work worked. [10] When we came to the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, we We faced many three disturbing realizations.

[1] We found that the The ultimate weapon for recovery was is the recovering addict. [2] We concentrate on recovery and feelings not what we have done in the past. [3] We learned old Old friends, places and ideas were threatening are often a threat to our recovery. [4] We had need to change our playmates, playgrounds and playthings. [1] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Chapter Three. [2]; [3] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] Having realized When we realize that we were unable are not able to maintain on our own, manage without drugs, some of us immediately began begin experiencing depression, anxiety, hostility and resentment. [2] Many of us felt that our lives, due to petty Petty frustrations, minor setbacks and losses, were loneliness often make us feel that we are not getting any better. [3] We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. [4] We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad. [5] Our disease can only be arrested through abstinence. [1]; [2] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] Today, we have feelings of love, joy, hope, excitement, sadness and friendship experience a full range of feelings. [2] Before coming into the Fellowship, we were either felt elated or depressed with very little in between. [3] Our negative sense of self was has been replaced by a positive concern for others. [4] Our own Answers are provided, and problems seemed to resolve themselves are solved. [5] It is a great gift to be a feel human being, and the opportunities we seek are determined by our own sense of self-worth again. [All] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] What a change from the way that we used to be! [2] We know the N.A. Program works. [3] The program convinced us that we needed to change ourselves, instead of trying to change the people and situations around us. [4] We discovered new opportunities. [5] We found a sense of self-worth. [6] We learned self-respect. [7] This is a program for learning. [8] By working the steps, we come to accept a Higher Power’s will. [9] Acceptance leads to recovery. [10] We lose our fear of the unknown. [11] We are set free.

[1] If what you want is what we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. [2] These are suggested only, but they are the principles that made our recovering recovery possible.

[1] This sounds like a big order, and we can’t do it all at once. [2] , we We didn’t become addicted in one day, so remember -- EASY DOES IT easy does it. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] There is one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our recovery; this is a attitude of indifference or intolerance toward spiritual principles. [2] Although there are no musts in N.A., there are Three things of these that seem indispensable are indispensable These are Honesty honesty, Openmindedness open-mindedness and Willingness to try willingness. [3] With these we are well on our way. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] We feel that our approach to the problem disease of addiction is completely realistic for the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel. [2] We feel that our way is practical, for one addict can best understand and help another addict. [3] We believe that the sooner we face our problems within our society, in everyday living, just that much faster do we become acceptable, responsible, and productive members of that society. [All] Paragraph four, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] The only way to keep from getting or continuing a habit returning to active addiction is not to take that first fix, pill or drink drug. [2] If you are like us you know that one is too many and a thousand never enough. [3] We put great emphasis on this, for we know that when we use drugs in any form, or substitute one for another, we release our addiction all over again or create a new one. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] The substitution Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to form a new addiction pattern, which in its progression brings as many problems as before. relapse. [2] Before we came to N.A. many of us viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be confused about this. [3] We seem to forget that alcohol Alcohol is one of the oldest known drugs a drug. [4] It would appear that we We are people with addictive personalities who are strongly susceptible to alcoholic addiction. the disease of addiction who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover. [1]; [3]; [4] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] These are some the questions we have asked ourselves: Are we sure we want to stop using? [2] Do we understand and believe that we have no real control over drugs? [3] Do we recognize that in the long run, we don't didn’t use drugs -- they use used us? [4] Did jails and institutions take over the management of our lives at different times? [5] Do we fully accept the fact that our every attempt to stop using or to control our using failed? [6] Do we know that drugs have the power to change our addiction changed us into liars, thieves, and schemers? someone we didn’t want to be: dishonest, deceitful, self-willed people at odds with ourselves and our fellow man? [7] Do we know in our guts, really believe that as successful drug users, we have failed? we have failed as drug users? [1]; [2]; [3]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] When we were using, reality became so painful that oblivion was preferable. [2] We had tried to keep other people from knowing about our pain. [3] We isolated ourselves, and lived in prisons that we built out of our own with loneliness. [4] Through this desperation, we sought out help in Narcotics Anonymous. [5] When we came come to N.A. we were are physically, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt. [6] We have hurt so long enough and badly enough that we were are willing to go to any lengths length to stay clean. [5]; [6] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Four. [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Four.

[1] To Our only hope is to live by the example of those who had have faced our dilemma and had have found a way out, seemed to be our only hope. [2] Regardless of who we are, where we have come came from, or what we have done, we are accepted in N.A. [3] Our addiction gives us all a common ground for understanding one another. [1] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Four. [2] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] After As a result of attending a few meetings, webegan begin to feel like we finally belong somewhere. [2] It was is in these meetings that we were first are introduced to the Twelve Step of N.A. Narcotics Anonymous. [3] We learn to work the steps in the order that they were are written and we to use them on a daily basis. [4] They The steps are our solution. [5] They have become are our survival kit, for addiction is a deadly disease. [6] They are our defense against addiction which is a deadly disease. [7] Our steps are suggested only, but they are the principles that make our recovering recovery possible. [All] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] It doesn’t matter what or how much we used. [2] The bottom line of In Narcotics Anonymous, is staying clean has to come first. [3] We realize that we cannot use drugs and live. [4] When we admit our powerlessness and our inability to manage our own lives, we open the door to a power greater than ourselves recovery. [5] No one could convince us that we were addicts. [6] It is an admission that we have to make for ourselves. [7] When some of us have doubts, we ask ourselves this question: "Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood-altering chemicals?" [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph one, greybook Step One

[1] Most addicts will see that control is impossible the moment it is suggested. [2] Whatever the outcome, we find that we cannot control our using for any length of time.

[1] This would clearly suggest that an addict has no control over drugs. [2] Powerlessness means using drugs against our will. [3] If we can’t stop using, how can we tell ourselves that we are in control? [4] The inability to stop using, even with the greatest willpower and the most sincere desire, is what we mean when we say, "We have absolutely no choice." [5] However, we do have a choice after we stop trying to justify our using.

[1] None of us stumbled We didn’t stumble into this Fellowship brimming with love, honesty, or open-minded open-mindedness or willingness. [2] We have all reached the a point where it seemed we could no longer continue using because of intense pain: physical, mental, and spiritual pain. [3] When we were beaten, we became willing. [1]; [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step One. [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step One

[1] Our inability to control our usage of drugs is a symptom of the disease of addiction. [2] We are powerless not only over drugs, but over our addiction as well. [3] We need to admit this fact in order to recover. [4] Addiction is a physical, mental and spiritual disease that affects every area of our lives.

[1] The physical aspect of our disease is the compulsive use of drugs: the inability to stop using once we have started. [2] The mental aspect of our disease is the obsession, or overpowering desire to use, even when we are destroying our lives. [3] The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness. [4] We felt that we could stop whenever we wanted to, despite all evidence to the contrary. [5] Denial, substitution, rationalization, justification, distrust of others, guilt, embarrassment, dereliction, degradation, isolation, and loss of control are all results of our disease. [6] Our disease is progressive, incurable and fatal. [7] Most of us are relieved to find out we have a disease instead of a moral deficiency.

[1] We are not responsible for our disease, but we are responsible for our recovery. [2] Most of us tried to stop using on our own, but we were unable to live with or without drugs. [3] Eventually we realized that we were powerless over our addiction.

[1] "By Sheer will power we had gotten clean, temporarily. Many of us tried to stop using on sheer willpower. [2] This action was a temporary solution. [3] When we began to see We saw that will power willpower alone wasn't going to pull us through anymore, would not work for any length of time. [4] , we We tried countless other remedies -- counselors, psychiatrists, hospitals, recovery houses, lovers, new towns, new jobs . [5] --everything Everything that we tried, failed. [6] We began to see where that we had rationalized the most errant outrageous sort of nonsense in order to justify the mess that we had made of our lives with drugs. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Step One. [6] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step One

[1] Until we let go of our reservations, no matter what they are, the foundation of our recovery is in danger. [2] Reservations rob us of the benefits that this program has to offer. [3] In ridding ourselves of all reservations, we surrender. [4] Then, and only then, can we be helped to recover from the disease of addiction.

[1] Now, the question is: "If we are powerless, how can Narcotics Anonymous help?" [2] We begin by asking for help. [3] The foundation of our program is the admission that we, of ourselves, do not have power over addiction. [4] When we can accept this fact, we have completed the first part of Step One.

[1] A second admission must be made before our foundation is complete. [2] If we stop here, we will know only half the truth. [3] We are great ones for manipulating the truth. [4] We say on one hand, "Yes, I am powerless over my addiction," and on the other hand, "When I get my life together, I can handle drugs." [5] Such thoughts and actions led us back to active addiction. [6] It never occurred to us to ask, "If we can’t control our addiction, how can we control our lives?" [7] We felt miserable without drugs, and our lives were unmanageable.

[1] Unemployability, dereliction and destruction are easily seen as characteristics of an unmanageable life. [2] Our families generally are disappointed, baffled and confused by our actions and often desert or disown us. [3] Becoming employed, socially acceptable and reunited with our families does not equal recovery.

[1] We have found that we had no choice but except to completely change our old ways of thinking or go back to using. [2] When we gave give it our best go, it worked works for us as it has worked for others. [3] When we could stand our old ways no longer no longer stand our old ways, we began begin to change. [All] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step One.

[1] From that point forward, we can began to see that every clean day is a successful day, and that any seeming failure is only a temporary setback no matter what happens. [2] Surrender means not having to fight anymore. [3] We accept our addiction and life the way it is. [4] We become willing to do whatever is necessary to stay clean, even the things we don’t like doing. [1] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step One. [2] Paragraph six, greybook, Step One

[1] Until we took Step One, we were full of reservations fear and doubt. [2] At this point, many of us felt lost and confused. [3] We felt different. [4] Upon working Step One this step, we affirmed our surrender to the principles of N.A. [5] , and only then did Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of being a drug addict of addictions. [6] Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat. [7] This can be frightening, but it is the foundation on which we built our lives. [1]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph three, greybook, Step One.

[1] Step One means that we don't have to make excuses for the way we are, do not have to use, and that this is a great freedom. [2] It took a while for some of us to realize how unmanageable that our lives had become unmanageable. [3] ; for For others, this the unmanageability of their lives was about the only thing of which we could be sure that was clear. [4] We knew in our hearts that drugs have had the power to change us into something someone that we didn’t want to be, and we of all people had surely had enough of self-destruction. [1] Paragraph six, greybook, Step One. [2]; [3] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step One. [4] Paragraph four, greybook, Step One.

[1] As we got Being clean and worked working this Step step, we were are released from our chains. [2] None However, none of the Steps steps work by magic. [3] We do not just say the words of the Steps this step; we learn to live them. [4] We see for ourselves that the program has something to offer us. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step One.

[1] We had have found hope. [2] We saw that we could can learn to function in the world in which we live in, that we, too could. [3] We can find meaning and purpose in life and that we could be rescued from insanity, depravity and death. [All] Paragraph seventeen, greybook, Step One.

[1] We could When we admit that we were truly powerless over our addiction and that our lives were unmanageable. our powerlessness and inability to manage our own lives, We could admit complete defeat, and the we open the door for a Power greater than ourselves to help came us. [2] It is not where we are were that counts, but where we are going. [1] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step One. [2] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step One.

[1] The Second Step is the most important thing that must happen for us necessary if we expect to achieve any sort of ongoing recovery. [2] The First Step leaves us where we with a need to come to believe in something that can help us with out powerlessness and sense of, uselessness, and helplessness. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Two.

[1] The First Step had left a vacuum in our lives. [2] We need to find something to fill that void. [3] This is the purpose of the Second Step.

[1] Some of us didn’t take this step seriously at first; we passed over it with a minimum of concern, only to find the next steps would not work until we worked Step Two. [2] Even when we admitted that we needed help with our drug problem, many of us would not admit to the need for faith and sanity.

[1] We have a disease: progressive, incurable and terminal fatal. [2] The most amazing single fact about the disease is that One way or another we went out and bought it our destruction on the time payment plan! [3] Think about that--you, me, everyone we meet in N.A.; All of us, from the junkie snatching purses on the street, and to the sweet little ladies old lady hitting two or three doctors for their perfectly legal prescriptions, All of us have this one thing in common:we buy the disease that kills us And, one way or another, we usually pay for it, we seek our destruction a bag at a time , a few pills at a time, or a bottle at a time until we die. [4] This is at least part of the insanity of addiction. [5] The price may seem higher for the girl addict who prostitutes herself for her a fix than it is for the woman addict who merely lies to her a doctor. [6] ; but ultimately, Ultimately, both pay for their disease with their lives. [7] Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Two

[1] Many of us realize when we get to the program that we have gone back time and again to using, even though we knew that we were destroying our lives. [2] Insanity is using drugs day after day knowing that only physical and mental destruction comes when we use. [3] The most obvious insanity of the disease of addiction is the obsession to use drugs.

[1] Ask yourself this question, Do I believe it would be insane to walk up to someone and say, "Would you please sell me my own death--on the time plan?" or "May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident?" [2] If you can agree that this would be an insane thing, comparable to giving yourself an injection of deadly poison, only slower, you should have no trouble problem with the Second Step. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Two

[1] In this program, the first thing we do is stop using drugs. [2] At this point, we begin to feel the pain of living without drugs or anything to replace them. [3] The pain forces us to seek a Power greater than ourselves that can relieve our obsession to use.

[1] The process of coming to believe is similar for most addicts. [2] Most of us lacked a working relationship with a Higher Power.

[1] The Higher Power we use in N.A. is a lot like this: We begin to develop this relationship by simply admitting to the possibility of a power Power greater than ourselves. [2] We had Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive power greater than ourselves force in our lives. [3] Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destructive and despair. [4] At some point, we realized that we needed the help of some Power greater that our addiction. [5] Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us. [6] No one is going to decide for us. [7] You We can call it love, or harmony, or peace, or cleanness, or good, the group, the program, or you we can call it God. [8] The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring and greater than ourselves. [9] You We don’t have to be religious to accept the this idea of a power greater than yourself!. [10] The point is that we open our minds to believe. [11] We may have difficulty with this, but by keeping and open mind, sooner or later, we find the help we need. [1] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Two. [2] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Two. [7]; [9] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Two.

[1] We talked and listened to others. [2] We saw other people recovering, and they told us what was working for them. [3] We began to see evidence of some Power that could not be fully explained. [4] Confronted with this evidence, we began to accept the existence of a Power greater than ourselves [5] We can use this Power long before we understand it

[1] As we see coincidences and miracles happening in our lives, acceptance becomes trust. [2] We grow to feel comfortable with our Higher Power as a source of strength. [3] As we learn to trust this Power, we begin to overcome our fear of life.

[1] The process of coming to believe restores us to sanity. [2] The strength to move into action comes from this belief. [3] We need to accept this step to start our on the road to recovery. [4] When our belief has grown to some point of comfort, we are ready for Step Three. [3]; [4] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Step Two.

"We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

[1] As addicts, we turned our will and our lives over many times to a destructive power. [2] As practicing addicts, our Our will and our lives were controlled by the drug drugs. [3] We were trapped by our need for connections and cash. instant gratification that drugs gave us. [4] During that time, our total being the mind, body, the soul -- body, mind and spirit -- was dominated by drugs. [5] For a time it was pleasurable, at least in the early stages, then the euphoria began to wear off and we saw the ugly side of addiction. [6] Often we We found that the higher our drugs took us, the lower they brought us. [7] When our nerves were jangling like a fire alarm, we We faced two choices. Either : either we suffered the pain of withdrawal or we took more drugs. [2]; [3]; [4] Paraagraph one, greybook, Step Three. [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Three

[1] For all addicts of us, the day comes came when there is was no longer a choice. We must have more drugs. ; we had to use. [2] Having given our will and lives over to addiction, In in utter desperation, we looked for another way. [3] In Narcotics Anonymous, we are told that we can decide to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a God of our own understanding God as we understand Him. [4] This is a giant step, anyone can take it. [5] We don’t have to be religious; anyone can take this step. [6] All that is required is a willingness to believe. [7] All that is essential is that we open the door to a Power greater than ourselves. [1] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Three. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Three

[1] Our concept of God comes not from dogma but from what we believe and from what works for us. [2] If you Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps the rest of us clean, that's fine. [3] The right to a God of your understanding is total and without any catches. [4] Because we have this right, it is necessary to be honest about our belief if we are to grow spiritually. [2] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Three

[1] We found that all we needed to do was try. [2] When we gave our best effort to the, the program, it worked for us as it has worked for countless others. [3] The Third Step does not say, "We turned our will and our lives over to the care of God." [4] It says, "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." [5] We made the decision; it was not made for us by the drugs, our families, a probation officer, judge, therapist or doctor. [6] We did made it! [7] For the first time since that first high, we have made a decision for ourselves. [1]; [2] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Three. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Three

[1] The word decision implies action. [2] This decision is based on faith. [3] We have only to believe that the miracle that we see working in the lives of clean addicts can happen to any addict with the desire to change. [4] We simply realize there is a force for spiritual growth that can help us become more tolerant, patient, and useful in helping others. [5] Many of us have said, "Take my will and my life. [6] Guide me in my recovery. [7] Go off by yourself and say silently, "God, I've made a mess of my life. I can't solve my problems and I ask you to take care of me and show Show me how to live." [8] The release by letting go and letting God relief of "letting go and letting God" helps us develop what works here and now a life that is worth living. [7] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Three. [8] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Three

[1] Surrendering to the will of our Higher Power gets easier with daily practice. [2] When we honestly try, it works. [3] Many of us start our day with a simple request for guidance from our Higher Power.

[1] Although we know that "turning it over" works, we may still take our will and our life back. [2] We may even get angry because God permits it. [3] At times during our recovery, the decision to ask for God’s help is our greatest source of strength and courage. [4] We cannot make this decision often enough. [5] The only price is to quit fighting, We surrender quietly, and let the God of our own understanding take care of us. [5] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] At first, our heads reeled with the questions: "What will happen when I turn my life over? [2] Will I become ‘perfect’?" [3] We may have been more realistic than this. [4] Some of us had to turn to an experienced N.A. member and ask, "What was it like for you?" [5] The answer will vary from member to member. [6] Most of us feel open-mindedness, willingness and surrender are the keys to this step.

[1] We have surrendered our will and our lives to the care of a Power greater than ourselves. [2] If we are thorough and sincere, we will notice a change for the better. [3] Our fears are lessened, and faith begins to grow as we learn the true meaning of surrender. [4] We have learned to stop are no longer fighting and are learning to live fear, anger, guilt, self-pity or depression. [5] We realize that the Power that brought us to this program is still with us and will continue to guide us if we allow it. [6] We are slowly beginning to lose the paralyzing fear of hopelessness. [7] The proof of this step is shown in the way we live. [4] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] We have come to enjoy clean living living clean and want more of the good things that the N.A. Fellowship holds for us. [2] We know now that we cannot pause in our spiritual program; we want all that we can get. [All] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] We are now ready for our first honest self-appraisal, and we begin with Step Four. [All] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] The purpose of a searching and fearless moral inventory is to sort through the confusion and the contradiction of our lives, so that we can find out who we really are. [2] We are starting a new way of life and need to be rid of the burdens and traps that controlled us and prevented our growth.

[1] As we approach this step, most of us are afraid that there is a monster inside of us that, if released, will destroy us. [2] This fear can cause us to put off our inventory or may even prevent us from taking this crucial step at all. [3] We have found a loving, personal God to whom we can turn. [4] We no longer need to be afraid.

[1] We have been experts at self-deception and rationalization. [2] By writing our inventory, we can overcome these obstacles. [3] A written inventory will unlock parts of our subconscious that remain hidden when we simply think about or talk about who we are. [4] Once it is all down on paper, it is much easier to see, and much harder to deny our true nature. [5] Honest self-assessment is one of the keys to our new way of life.

[1] Let’s face it; when we were using, we weren't very were not honest with ourselves. [2] We are finally beginning to become becoming honest with ourselves when we admit our that addiction has whipped defeated us and that we need help. [3] It took a long time to get where we could admit that we were beaten. [4] We are probably not going to found that we do not recover physically, mentally or spiritually overnight. [5] Step Four is going to will help us toward our recovery more than we can imagine. [6] Most of us have found find that we were neither as terrible, nor as wonderful, as we supposed. [7] Most of us were We are surprised to find that we had many have good points in our inventory. [8] Ask anyone Anyone who has some time in the program and who has the kind of life you want for yourself, they worked this step will tell you that the Fourth Step was a turning point in their lives life. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [7]; [8] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Four. [6] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Some people of us make the mistake of approaching the Fourth Step as if it were a confession of how horrible they we are -- what a bad person they we have been. [2] A In this new way of life, a binge of emotional sorrow over real or imagined wrongs will not help us. In fact, it can be quite harmful dangerous. [3] This is not the purpose of the Fourth Step. [4] We are trying to free ourselves of living in old, useless patterns. [5] We take the Fourth Step to grow and to gain necessary strength and insight to enable us to grow in this new way of life. [6] You We may approach the Fourth Step in a number of ways. [1] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Four. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Four. [6] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Four.

[1] To have the faith and courage to write a fearless inventory, Steps One, Two and Three are the necessary preparation. [2] It is advisable that before you we start, we go over the first Three Steps three steps with your a sponsor. [3] Be We get comfortable with your our understanding of these steps. [4] Allow yourself We allow ourselves the privilege of feeling good about what you we are doing. [5] We have been thrashing about for a long time and have gotten nowhere. [6] Now we are going to take it easy start the Fourth Step and not let things frighten us go of fear. [7] We simply put it on paper, to the best of our present ability. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Four.

[1] We must be done with the past, not cling to it. [2] We want to look our past in the face and, see it for what it really was and then to release it so we can live today. [3] The past, for most of us, has been a ghost in the closet. [4] We have been afraid to open that closet for fear of what that ghost may do to us. [5] You don't We do not have to do this look at the past alone. [6] Your will and your life Our wills and our lives are now in the hands of the Source of all strength--tap into the Source! our Higher Power. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Four. [5]; [6] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Writing a thorough and honest inventory looks seemed impossible to most of us. [2] It is--if we are It was, as long as we were operating under our own "power." power. [3] Take We take a few quiet moments before writing and pray for "the power to carry it out." ask for the strength to be fearless and thorough. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Four.

[1] In Step Four, we begin to get in touch with ourselves. [2] We write down our fears, our resentments and our guilt about our liabilities such as guilt, shame, remorse, self-pity, resentment, anger, depression, frustration, confusion, loneliness, anxiety, betrayal, hopelessness, failure, fear and denial. [2] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Stay We write about the things that bother us here in the and now -you are on Step Four. [2] We have a tendency to think negatively, so putting it on paper gives us a chance to look more positively at what is happening. [1] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Assets must also be considered, if we are to get an accurate and complete picture of ourselves. [2] This is very difficult for most of us, because it is hard to accept that we have good qualities. [3] However, we all have assets, many of them newly found in the program, such as being clean, open-mindedness, God-awareness, honesty with others, acceptance, positive action, sharing, willingness, courage, faith, caring, gratitude, kindness and generosity. [4] We examine in depth our Also, our inventories usually include material on relationships with people, places and situations asking ourselves what we have demanded of these relationships. [4] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] This Fourth Step can be a wonderful adventure, reviewing We review our past performance and our present behavior to see what we want to keep and what we want to be rid of discard. [2] No one is forcing us to give up our misery. [3] This step has the reputation of being difficult. In ; in reality, it is quite simple. [1]; [3] Paragraph seventeen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] We write our inventory without considering the Fifth Step. [2] We work Step Four as is there were no Step Five. [3] We can write alone or near other people; whatever is more comfortable to the writer is fine. [4] We can write as long or as short as needed. [5] Someone with experience can help. [6] With pen and paper, we begin the The important thing is to write a moral inventory. [7] If the word moral bothers us, we may call it a positive/negative inventory , or a good/bad inventory. [6]; [7] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Four.

[1] The way to write an inventory is to write it!. [2] Thinking about an inventory, talking about it, theorizing about the inventory will not get it written. [3] Sit We sit down with a notebook, pray, ask for guidance, pick up your our pen and start writing. [4] Anything we think about is possibly inventory material. [5] We When we realize how little we have to lose, and how much we have to gain, we begin this step. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Four. [4]; [5] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Four.

[1] A basic rule of thumb is that we can write too little, but yet we can never write too much. [2] The inventory will fit the individual, we simply write until the brain is emptied. [3] Perhaps this seems difficult or painful. [4] It may appear impossible. [5] We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic. [6] We may feel like avoiding an inventory because of a fear of failure. [7] When we ignore our feelings, the tension becomes too much for us. [8] The fear of impending doom is so great that it overrides our fear of failure. [1]; [2] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Four.

[1] An inventory becomes a relief, because the pain of doing it is less than the pain of not doing it. [2] We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery. [3] Thus, facing it becomes unavoidable. [4] Every topic of step meetings seems to be on the Fourth Step or doing a daily inventory. [5] Through the inventory process, we are able to deal with all the things that can build up. [6] The more we live our program, the more God seems to put us in positions where issues surface. [7] When issues surface, we write about them. [8] We begin enjoying our recovery, because we have a way to resolve shame, guilt, or resentment.

[1] The stress once trapped inside of us is released. [2] Writing will lift the lid off of our pressure cooker. [3] We decide whether we want to serve it up, put the lid back on it, or throw it our. [4] We no longer have to stew in it.

[1] We are not going to be perfect. [2] If we were perfect, we would not be human. [3] The important thing is that we do our best. [4] We use tools available to us, and because we do not want to lose any of what we have gained, we will want to continue in the program. we develop the ability to survive our emotions. [5] We do not want to lose any of what we have gained; we want to continue in the program. [6] It is our experience that no matter how searching and thorough, no inventory is of any lasting effect unless it is promptly followed by an equally thorough Step Five Fifth Step. [All] Paragraph nineteen, greybook, Step Four

[1] The Fifth Step is the key to freedom. [2] It allows us to live clean in the present. [3] Sharing the exact nature of our wrongs sets us free to live. [4] After taking a thorough Fourth Step, we have to deal with what we have found in the contents of our inventory. [5] We are told that if we keep these defects inside us, they could lead us to using again will eventually sicken us and keep us from taking part in our new way of life. [6] If we are not honest when we take a Fifth Step, but we really don't get honest, we will have the same negative results that dishonesty brought us in the past. [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Step Five suggests that we admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. [2] We looked at our wrongs, examined our behavior patterns, and started to see the deeper aspects of our disease. [3] Now we sit with another person and share our inventory out loud.

[1] Our Higher Power will be with us when we do this, and during our Fifth Step. [2] We will receive help to free the fear of facing and be free to face ourselves and another human being, many of us, before we take Step Five, fear that God will turn away from us, when we reveal ourselves to Him. [3] It seemed unnecessary to some of us to admit the exact nature of our wrongs to God our Higher Power. [4] "God already knows that stuff," we rationalized. [5] True, God does already know all that stuff, but until we face God with it, we will never really believe that He does. The Although He already knows, the admission must come from our own lips to be truly effective for us. [6] Step Five is not simple a reading of Step Four. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Five.

[1] For years, we have avoided seeing ourselves as we really are were. [2] We were ashamed of ourselves and felt isolated from the rest of the world. [3] Now, we've got this Now that we have the shameful part of our past trapped on paper. , We we can sweep it out of our lives if we face and admit it. [4] It would be a tragic mistake to have write it all written down and then just shove it into in a drawer. [5] These defects grow in the dark, and die in the light of exposure. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, we had felt that no one could ever relate to us or understand the reasons behind the things that we had done. [2] We have feared that if we ever revealed ourselves as we really were, we would surely be rejected. [3] Most addicts are uncomfortable about this. [4] We quickly realized recognize that we had have been unrealistic in feeling that this way. [5] N.A. people did Our fellow members do understand us. [1]; [2]; [4]; [5] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Five.

[1] We must carefully choose the person who is to hear our Fifth Step. [2] Whoever we select, we make certain We must make sure that they know what we are attempting to do doing and why we are doing it. [3] Although there is no hard rule about what kind of the person we should choose of our choice, it is important that we trust that the person. [4] Only complete confidence in the Person's person’s integrity and closed mouth discretion can make us willing to be thorough in this Step step. [5] Some of us take our Fifth Step with a total stranger, but most although some of us feel most more comfortable choosing a member of N.A Narcotics Anonymous. [6] We know that a fellow another addict would be less likely to judge us with malice or misunderstanding. [1]; [3]; [4] Paragraph for, greybook, Step Five. [2]; [5]; [6] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Once we make up our minds a choice and are actually alone with the that person, we have chosen to accept our confidence we proceed with with enthusiasm their encouragement. [2] We want to be very definite, honest and thorough, We realize realizing that this is a life and death matter. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Some of us tried to hide part of our past in an attempt to find an easier way of dealing with our inner feelings. [2] We may think that we have done enough by writing about our past. [3] We cannot afford this mistake. [4] This step will expose our motives and our actions. [5] We cannot expect these things to reveal themselves. [6] Our embarrassment is eventually overcome, and we can avoid future guilt.

[1] We do not procrastinate. [2] We must be exact. [3] We want to tell the a simple truth, cut and dry dried, as quickly as possible. [4] There is always a danger that we will exaggerate our wrongs. [5] , and an equal danger that we will It is equally dangerous to minimize or rationalize away our part in past situations. [6] If we are anything like we were when we first entered the N.A. Fellowship, we will still tend to After all, we still want to sound good. [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Five. [1]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Addicts tend to live secret lives. [2] For many years, we have covered up our low self-esteem by hiding behind phony images that we hoped would fool people. [3] Unfortunately, ended up fooling we fooled ourselves more than anyone. [4] Although we often appeared attractive and confident on the outside, we were really hiding a shaky, insecure person on the inside. [5] The masks have to go. [6] We share our inventory as it is written, skipping nothing. [7] We continue to approach this step with honesty and thoroughness until we finish. [8] It was is a great relief to be get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past guilt. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step Five. [8] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Usually, as we share this Step step, the listener will share some of his or her story too. [2] , and we will We find out that the things about ourselves that we thought were so awful or different weren't all that unusual we are not unique. [3] We see, by the acceptance in the eyes of our confidant, that we can be forgiven, even loved, accepted just the way we are. [All] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Five.

[1] We will may never be able to name remember all of our past mistakes. [2] We do, however, give it our best and most complete effort. [3] We begin to experience real personal feelings of a spiritual nature. [4] Where once we had spiritual theories, we now begin to awaken to spiritual reality. [5] Even though our This initial examination of ourselves usually reveals some thing about ourselves that we don't particularly like, facing these things behavior patterns and bringing them out in the open makes it possible for us to deal with them constructively. [6] We cannot make these changes alone. [7] We will need our Higher Power's help, and the help of the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship the help of God, as we understand Him, and the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Five. [1] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Why ask for something before we are ready for it? [2] This would be asking for trouble. [3] So many times addicts have sought the rewards of hard work without the labor. [4] Willingness is what we strive for in Step Six. [5] How sincerely we work Step Six this step will be proportionate to our desire for change. [4]; [5] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Six.

[1] Do we really want to be rid of our resentments, our angers anger, our fears fear? [2] Many of us cling to our fears, doubts, self-loathing or hatred of others, because there is a certain distorted security in familiar pain. [3] It seems safer to hold on to the old familiar pain embrace what we know than to let go of it for the unknown. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Six. [3] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Six.

[1] Letting go of character defects should be done with love decisively. [2] We suffer because their demands weaken us. [3] Where we were proud, we now find that we cannot get away with arrogance. [4] If we are not humble, we are humiliated. [5] If we are greedy, we find that we are never satisfied. [6] Before taking Steps Four and Five, we could indulge in fear, dishonesty or self-pity. [7] Now indulgence in these character defects clouds our ability to think logically. [8] Selfishness becomes an intolerable, destructive chain that ties us to our bad habits. [9] Our defects drain us of all our time and energy. [1] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Six.

[1] We examine the Fourth Step inventory and get a good look at what these defects are doing to our lives. [2] We begin to long for freedom from these defects. [3] We pray or otherwise become willing, ready and able to let God remove all these destructive traits. [4] We need a personality change, if we are to stay clean. [5] We want to change.

[1] We should approach old defects with patience and understanding, for they have served us well in days past an open mind. [2] We are aware of them and yet we still make the same mistakes and are unable to break the bad habits. [3] We look to the Fellowship for the kind of life that we want for ourselves. [4] We ask our friends, "Did you let go?" [5] Without Almost without exception the answer is, "Yes, to the best of our my ability." [6] When we see how our defects exist in our lives and accept them, we can let go of them and get on with our new life. [7] We learn that we are growing when we make new mistakes instead of repeating old ones. [1[ Paragraph five, greybook, Step Six. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Six. [7] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Step Six.

[1] When we are working Step Six, it is important to remember that we are human and should not place great unrealistic expectations on ourselves. [2] This is a step of willingness. [3] That Willingness is the spiritual principle of Step Six. [4] It is as if to say that we are now willing to Step Six helps us move along in a spiritual lines toward a destination we couldn't imagine direction. [5] Being human we will of course fall short wander off course. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Six. [4]; [5] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Six

[1] Rebellion is a character defect that spoils us here. [2] We need not lose faith when we become rebellious. [3] Rebellion can produce indifference or intolerance which can be overcome by persistent effort. [4] We keep asking for willingness. [5] We may be doubtful that God will see fit to relieve us or that something will go wrong. [6] We ask another member who says, "You’re right where you’re supposed to be." [7] We renew our readiness to have our defects removed. [8] We surrender to the simple suggestions that the program offers us. [9] Even though we are not entirely ready, we are headed in the right direction.

[1] Eventually faith, humility and acceptance replace pride and rebellion. [2] We come to know ourselves. [3] We find ourselves growing into mature consciousness. [4] We begin to feel better, as willingness grows into hope. [5] Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life. [6] With this in sight, we put our willingness into action by moving on to Step Seven.

[1] Character defects or shortcomings are those things that cause pain and misery all of our lives. [2] If they contributed to our health and happiness, we would not have come to such a state of desperation. [3] We had to become ready to have God, as we understood Him, remove all these defects.

[1] Having decided that we want God, as we understood Him, to relieve us of the useless or destructive aspects of our personalities, we have arrived at the Seventh Step. [2] We couldn’t handle the trials and tribulations ordeal of life all by ourselves. [3] It wasn’t until we made a real mess of our lives that we realized that we couldn’t do it alone. [3] By admitting that this, we achieved our first a glimpse of humility. [4] This is the main ingredient of Step Seven. [5] Humility is a result of getting honest with ourselves. [6] We have practiced being honest since Step One. [7] We accepted our addicition and powerlessness. [8] We found a strength beyond ourselves and learned to rely on it. [9] We examined our lives and discovered who we really are. [10] To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves. [11] None of us is perfectly good or perfectly bad. [12] We are people who have assets and liabilities. [13] Most importantly, we are human. [1] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Seven. [2]; [3];[4] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] Humility is as much a part of staying clean as food and water are to staying alive. [2] As we struggled along in our addiction progressed, we devoted our energy toward satisfying our material needs desires. [3] All other needs were beyond our reach. [4] We always wanted gratification of our basic desires. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] The Seventh Step is an action step, and it is time to ask God for help and relief. [2] We have to understand that our way of thinking is not the only way; other people can give us direction. [3] When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive. [4] We must realize that we are not perfect. [5] There will always be room for growth. [6] If we truly want to be free, we will take a good look at input from fellow addicts.