[1] Simplicity is the keynote of key to our symbol; it follows imitates the simplicity of our fellowship Fellowship. [2] We could find all All sorts of occult and esoteric connotations can be found in the its simple outlines, but foremost in our the minds of the Fellowship were are easily understood meanings and relationships. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Frontispiece

[1] The outer circle denotes a universal and total program that has room within it for all manifestations of the recovering and wholly recovered person. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Frontispiece

[1] The square, whose lines are defined, is easily seen and understood, but there are other unseen parts of the symbol. [2] The square base denotes Goodwill Good will, the ground of both the fellowship Fellowship and a member the members of our society. [3] Goodwill Good will is best exemplified in service and ; proper service is "Doing the right thing for the right reason." [4] When this Good will supports and motivates both the individual and the fellowship Fellowship, we are fully whole and wholly free. [5] Probably the last to be lost to freedom will be the stigma of being an addict. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Frontispiece. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph four, greybook, Frontispiece.

[1] Actually, it It is the four pyramid sides which that rise from this the base in a three-dimensional figure that that are the represent Self, Society, Service, and God. [2] All rise to the point of Freedom. [3] All parts thus far are closely related to the needs and aims of the addict who is seeking recovery, and to the purpose of the fellowship Fellowship seeking which is to make recovery available to all. [4] The greater the base, (as we grow in unity in numbers and in fellowship) the broader the sides of the pyramid and the higher the point of freedom. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Frontispiece. [3]; [4] Paragraph four, greybook, Frontispiece.

FORWORD PREFACE

"The full fruit of a labor of love lives in the harvest, and that always comes in its right season . . ." (greybook)

[1] The material for this book was drawn from the personal experiences of recovering addicts within the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] The text This Basic Text is based on an outline derived from the pamphlet (our "white book"), "Narcotics Anonymous." our "white book," Narcotics Anonymous. [3] The first eight chapters are based on the topic headings in the white book and carry the same title. [4] We have included a A ninth chapter has been included, Just for Today, and as well as a tenth chapter, More Will Be Revealed. [5] Following is a brief history of the book. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph one, greybook, Forword. [5] Paragraph two, greybook, Forword

[1] Narcotics Anonymous was formed in July 1953, with the first meeting held in Southern California. [2] The Fellowship grew erratically but quickly spread to various parts of the United States. [3] From the Beginning, while membership was still very small and the need was seen evident for a book on recovery to help strengthen the Fellowship. [4] The pamphlet, "Narcotics Anonymous," The white book, Narcotics Anonymous, was published in 1962. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Forword

[1] However, the The Fellowship still had little structure, however, and the 1960’s were a period of struggle. [2] Membership grew rapidly for a time and then began to decline. [3] The need for more specific direction was readily apparent. [4] N.A. demonstrated its maturity in 1972, when a World Service Office (WSO) was opened in Los Angeles. [5] The W.S.O. WSO has brought the needed unity and sense of purpose to the Fellowship. [All] Paragraph four, greybook, Forword

[1] The opening of the W.S.O. WSO brought stability to the growth of the needed unity and sense of purpose to the Fellowship. [2] Today, there are many thousand recovering addicts in hundreds thousands of meetings all across the United States and in many foreign countries. [3] Today the World Service Office truly serves a worldwide Fellowship. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Forword

[1] Narcotics Anonymous has long recognized the need for a complete text Basic Text on addiction -- a book about addicts, by addicts and for addicts, which would serve us much like the A.A. "Big Book" has served that Fellowship. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Forword

[1] This effort was strengthened shortly, after the formation of W.S.O. WSO, with the publication of The N.A. Tree, a pamphlet on service work. [2] This pamphlet was the original service manual of the Fellowship. [3] It has been followed by subsequent and more comprehensive volumes, and now the N.A. Service Manual. [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Forword

[1] The manual outlined a service structure which that included a World Service Conference (WSC). [2] The W.S.C. WSC, in turn, included a Literature Committee. [3] With the encouragement of W.S.O. WSO, several members of the Board of Trustees, and the Conference, work began. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Forword

[1] As the cry for literature, particularly a comprehensive text, became more widespread, the W.S.C. WSC Literature committee Committee developed. [2] In October 1979, the first World Literature Conference was held in Wichita, Kansas, followed by conferences in Lincoln, Nebraska; Memphis, Tennessee; Santa Monica, California; Warren, Ohio; and Miami, Florida. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Forword

[1] The W.S.C. WSC Literature Committee Subcommittee, working in conference and as individuals, have has collected hundreds of pages of material from members and groups throughout the Fellowship. [2] This material has been laboriously catalogued, edited, rewritten, assembled, dismembered and reassembled. [3] Dozens of area and regional representatives working with the Literature Committee have dedicated weeks and thousands of man-hours to produce the work here presented here. [4] But more importantly, those members have conscientiously sought to insure ensure a "group conscience" text. [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Forword

[1] In keeping with the spirit of anonymity, we, the WSC Literature Committee Subcommittee, feel it appropriate to express our special gratitude and appreciation to the Fellowship as a whole, especially the many of you who contributed material for inclusion in the book. [2] We feel that this book is a synthesis of the collective Group Conscience group conscience of the entire Fellowship and that every single idea submitted is included in the work in some form or another. [All] Paragraph ten, greybook, Forword

[1] The volume is intended as a textbook for every addict seeking recovery. [2] As addicts, we know the pain of addiction, but we also know the joy of recovery we have found in the Fellowship and on the program of Narcotics Anonymous. [3] We believe the time has come to share our recovery, in written form, with all who desire what we have found. [4] Appropriately, this book is devoted to informing every addict: JUST FOR TODAY, YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN! [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Forword. [4] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Forword

[1] Therefore,

[2] With gratitude in our cleanliness recovery, we dedicate our N.A. book to the loving service of our Higher Power that . [3] That through the development of a conscious contact with God, no addict seeking recovery need die without having had a chance to find a better way of life. [All] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Forword

[1] We remain trusted servants in gratitude and loving service.

[2] WORLD LITERATURE CONFERENCE-III LITERATURE SUBCOMMITTEE

[3] WORLD SERVICE CONFERENCE-LITERATURE COMMITTEE,

[4] NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS At Memphis, Tennessee February 8, 1981 [All] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Forword.

[1] We cannot change the nature of the Addict addict or Addiction addiction. [2] We can help to change the old lie "Once an addict, always an addict," by striving to make recovery more available. [3] God, help us to remember this difference. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Frontispiece

[1] This book is the shared common and personal experience of the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] We welcome you to read this text, trusting hoping that you will choose to share with us the new life that we have found. [3] We have by no means found a "cure" cure for addiction. [4] We offer only a proven plan for daily recovery. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Introduction

[1] In N.A., we follow a program adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous. [2] In the last forty-five years, more More than one million people have recovered in A.A., most of them just as hopelessly addicted to alcohol as we were to drugs. [3] We are grateful to the A.A. Fellowship for showing us the way to a new life. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Introduction.

[1] The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, as adapted from A.A. are the basis of our recovery program. [2] We have only broadened the their perspective of addiction. [3] We follow the same path with a single exception; our identification as addicts is all-inclusive in with respect to any mood-changing, mind-altering substance. [4] "Alcoholism" did not cover the total spectrum as comprehensively as does Alcoholism is too limited a term for us; our problem is not a specific substance, it is a disease called addiction. [5] We believe that as a fellowship, we have been guided by a Greater Consciousness as a Fellowship, and are grateful for the Direction direction that has enabled us to build upon a proven program of recovery. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Introduction

[1] We have come to Narcotics Anonymous by various means and believe that as our common denominator is that we failed to come to terms with our addictions, however varied addiction. [2] Because of the degree and variety of addictions addicts found within our Fellowship, we have approached approach the solution contained within this book in general terms. [3] We pray that we have been searching and thorough, so that every addict who reads this volume will find the hope that we have found. [All] Paragraph four, greybook, Introduction

[1] Based on our collective experience, we believe that every addict, including the "potential" potential addict, suffers from an incurable disease of body, mind, and spirit. [2] We were in the grip of a hopeless dilemma. The , the solution of which is spiritual in nature. [3] Therefore, this book will deal in great part with spiritual matters. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Introduction

[1] We are not a religious organization. [2] Our program is a set of spiritual principles through which we are recovering from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. [3] Throughout the compiling of this work, the prevailing theme has been the conscious prayer and meditation: we have prayed: [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Introduction

[1] "GOD, grant us knowledge that we may write according to Your Divine precepts. [2] ; instill Instill in us a sense of Your purpose. [3] , make Make us servants of Your will and grant us a bond of selflessness, that this may truly be Your work, not ours -- in order that no addict, anywhere, need die from the horrors of addiction." [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Introduction

[1] Everything Every thing that occurs in the course of N.A. service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers. [2] It was for this reason that we began this work. [3] We must always remember that as individual members, groups and service committees, we are not and should never be in competition with each other. [4] We work separately and together to help the newcomer and for our common good. [5] We have learned, painfully, that internal strife cripples our Fellowship; it prevents us from providing the services necessary for growth. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Introduction

[1] It is our hope that this book will help the suffering addict find the solution that we have found. [2] Our purpose is to remain clean, just for today, and to carry the message of recovery

Thank you,

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Introduction

BOOK ONE

[1] Many books have been written about the nature of addiction. [2] This book primarily concerns itself with the nature of recovery. [3] If you are an addict and have found this book, please give yourself a break and read it.! [All] Paragraph twenty-nine, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Most of us do not have to think twice about this question. [2] WE KNOW! [3] Our whole life and thinking is was centered in drugs in one form or another -- the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more. [4] We use to live and live to use. We lived to use and used to live. [5] Very simply, an addict is a man or woman whose life is controlled by drugs. [6] We are people in the grip of a continuing and Progressive progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions and death. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] Those of us who have found the Program of Narcotics Anonymous do not have to think twice about this question: Who is an addict? [2] We know! [3] The following is our experience.

[1] As addicts, we are people whose use of any mind-altering, mood-changing substance causes a problem in any area of life. [2] Our addiction involved Addiction is a disease that involves more than drug the use of drugs. [3] Some recovering addicts of us believe that the our disease was present long before the first pill, fix, drink or toke time we used. [2] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Chapter One [3] Paragraph forty-nine, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] We had used all sorts of drugs over the years and experienced numerous living problems as the result of our using and yet Most of us did not consider ourselves addicted before coming to the Narcotics Anonymous Program. [2] The problem was that most of the The information available to us, before coming to the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, came to us from misinformed people or others who also used heavily but did not consider themselves to be addicted. [3] We did not see ourselves as being addicted, as As long as we could periodically stop using for a day, a week, or even a month or more while, we thought we were all right. [4] We looked at the stopping, not the using. [5] Of course, as As our addiction progressed, we thought of stopping less and less. [6] Many of us had reached the point where we saw ourselves hopelessly deteriorating; by that time Only in desperation did we asked ask ourselves, "Could it be the drugs?" [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We did not choose to become addicts. [2] We suffer from a disease that expresses itself in ways that are anti-social and that makes detection, diagnosis and treatment difficult.

[1] Addiction Our disease isolated us from people except for the when we were getting, using and finding ways and means to get more. [2] Hostile, resentful, self-centered and self-seeking, we cut ourselves off all from the outside interests from our lives world. [3] Anything not completely familiar became alien and dangerous. [4] Our world shrank and isolation became our life. [5] We used in order to survive. [6] It was the only way of life that we knew. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph twenty-four, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We never considered ourselves addicts, although some Some of us have used, misused and abused drugs for half of our lives or more and still did not consider ourselves addicts. [2] Through all of this, we kept telling ourselves, "I can handle it." [3] The term "drug addict" conjured up Our misconceptions about the nature of addiction included visions of violence, street crime, fear of the law, and dirty needles and jail. [1]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter One

[1] When our addiction is was treated as a crime or moral deficiency, we become became rebellious and are were driven deeper into our isolation. [2] Some of the highs felt great, especially in the beginning but eventually the things that we had to tolerate do to support our habits continue using reflected desperation. [3] We were caught in the grip of our disease. [4] We were forced to survive any way that we could. [5] We manipulated people and conditions and tried to control all of their actions everything around us. [6] We sank to the depths of stealing, lying, prostituting ourselves, and cheating our friends lied, stole, cheated and sold ourselves. [7] We had to have drugs regardless of the cost. [8] Failure and fear began to invade our lives. [1] Paragraph twenty-six, greybook, Chapter One. [2]; [3]; [5]; [6] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter One

[1] The mental One aspect of our addiction comes with was our inability to deal with life on its own life’s terms. [2] We tried drugs and combinations of drugs in an effort to cope with a seemingly hostile world. [3] We dreamed of finding the right medication or fix, the magic elixir, a magic formula that would solve our ultimate problem -- ourselves. [4] The fact is was that we cannot successfully handle could not use any mind-altering or mood-changing substance, including marijuana and alcohol, successfully. [5] Drugs ceased to make us feel good. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph eighteen, greybook, Chapter One. [5] Paragraph nineteen, greybook, Chapter One

[1] At times, we were defensive about our addiction and justified our right to use, especially when we had legal prescriptions. [2] Many of us have participated in sub-cultural or We were proud of the sometimes illegal and often bizarre behaviors that may have given us different experiences than those of the non-addict. typified our using. [3] We "forgot" about the times when we sat alone and were consumed by fear and self-pity. [4] We fell into a pattern of selective thinking. [5] We only remembered the good drug experiences. [6] We justified and rationalized the things that we did to keep from being sick or going crazy. [7] We ignored the times when life seemed to be a nightmare. [8] We avoided the reality of our addiction. [2] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Higher mental and emotional functions, such as conscience and the ability to love, are were sharply affected by our use of drugs. [2] Our living Living skills were reduced to the animal level, if we have suffered long enough. [3] Our spirit was broken. [4] The person within is submerged and the The capacity to be feel human is was lost. [5] This is an seems extreme state, but most many of us have been there in this state of mind. [1]; [2]; [4]; [5] Paragraph thirty-five, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We were constantly searching for the "the answer"--searching for meaninglessness and purposelessness answer -- that person, place or thing that would make everything all right. [2] While using, we We lacked the ability to cope with day-today affairs daily living. [3] As our addiction caught up to us, we progressed, many of us found ourselves in and out of hospitals, jails and institutions more and more. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] Because of these These experiences , we began to realize how screwed up indicated that there was something wrong with our lives really were. [2] We just wanted an easy way out. [3] Suicide was on many of our minds. Some of us thought of suicide. [4] Our suicide attempts were often usually feeble and only helped to contribute to our feelings of worthlessness. [5] We were caught trapped in an the illusion of "what if", "if only" and "just one more try time." [6] When we did seek help, we were only looking for the absence of pain. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] We had regained good physical health many times, only to relapse lose it by using again. [2] Our past records show track record shows that it is impossible for us , as addicts, to use with control, no matter how well we may appear to be in control of our feelings successfully. [3] No matter how well we may appear to be in control, using drugs always brings us to our knees. [1]; [2] Paragraph thirty-three, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Like other incurable diseases, addiction can be arrested. [2] We agree that there is nothing shameful about being an addict, provided we accept our dilemma and honestly and take positive action. [3] We are willing to admit without reservation that we are "allergic" allergic to drugs. [4] Common sense tells us that it would be insane to go back to the source of our "allergy." allergy. [5] We, as recovering addicts, can tell you Our experience indicates that medicine cannot "cure" cure our illness. [All] Paragraph thirty-three, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Many Although physical and mental tolerance play a role, many drugs require no extended period of use to trigger allergic reactions , although physical and mental tolerance can play a role. [2] It is Our reaction to drugs is what makes us addicts, not how much we use that makes us addicts, but what it does to us. [All] Paragraph forty-four, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We admitted that we used drugs, but many Many of us did not think that we had a problem with drugs until The user may be unaware that a problem exists until, for example, the drugs run ran out and they begin to feel the early stages of withdrawal. [2] Many of us Even when others told us that we had a problem, we were convinced that we were right and the world was wrong. [3] , and We used this belief to justify our self-destructive behavior. [4] Many of us We developed a loser's point of view which that enabled us to pursue our addiction without the restraints of concern about for our own well-being or the well-being of others. [5] We began to feel that the drugs were killing us long before we could ever admit it to anyone else. [6] Or, they keep using but start to notice if they try We noticed that if we tried to stop , that they are unable, or when using, we couldn’t. [7] they have We suspected that we had lost control over the amount drugs and had no power to stop. [1] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter One. [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter One. [6]; [7] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] Certain things followed as usage continues we continued to use. [2] Setting aside the physical effects of addiction, as the regularity of usage increases, we We become became accustomed to a state of mind that is common to addicts. [3] ; we We forget forgot what it was like before we started using; We forget the we forgot about social graces. [4] We acquire weird acquired strange habits and mannerisms. [5] We forget forgot how to work; we forgot how to play; we forget forgot how to express ourselves and how to show concern for others. [6] and we We forget forgot how to feel. [All] Paragraph forty-four, greybook, Chapter One

[1] While using, we lived in another world. [2] As practicing addicts, we could really get down and if we We experienced a periodic jolt of only periodic jolts of reality or self-awareness. [3] , it It seemed as if that we were at last two people instead of one, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. [4] Temporarily clean, we We ran around trying and tried to get it all squared away our lives together before our next spree run. [5] Sometimes we could do this very well, but later, it seemed was less important , and at the same time, and more impossible. [6] In the end, Dr. Jekyll died and Mr. Hyde took over. [2]; [3[; [4]; [5] Paragraph five, greybook,Chapter One

[1] Each of us has a few things that we never did. [2] We cannot let these things become excuses to use again. [3] Some of us feel lonely because of differences between us and other members. [4] This feeling makes it difficult to give up old connections and old habits. [5] We all have different tolerances for pain. [6] Some addicts needed to go to greater extremes than others. [7] Some of us found that we had enough when we realized that we were getting high too often and it was affecting our daily lives.

[1] At first, We we were using in a manner which that seemed to be social or at least controllable. [2] with We had little indication of the disaster which that the future held for us. [3] At some point, our using became uncontrollable and definitely anti-social. [4] This phase of uncontrollable using is suffering addiction and usually began when things were going well, and we were in situations that allowed us to use as frequently as we wanted. [5] It is marked by a decline and This was usually the end of the good living as we knew it times. [6] We who are recovering and thus alive today, may have tried to moderate, substitute or even stop using, but we went from a state of drugged success and well-being to complete spiritual, mental and emotional bankruptcy. [7] This state rate of decline varies in length from addict to addict. [8] We can only say that for some it was a matter of months or even days and for others it was a matter of years Whether it occurs in years or days, it is all downhill. [9] Those of us that did that did not seek to change died who don’t die from the disease went will go on to prison, or were committed to mental institutions as hopelessly insane or complete demoralization as the disease progresses. [1]; [2] Paragraph fifty, greybook, Chapter One. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9] Paragraph fifty-one, greybook, Chapter One

[1] Where these Drugs once had given us the feeling that we could handle whatever situation might come down, develop. [2] We became aware , however, that these same drugs were drug usage was largely responsible for our having gotten into some of our very worst predicaments. [3] Some of us may spend the rest of our lives in jail for a drug-related crime or a crime committed under the influence. [All] Paragraph forty-eight, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We had to reach our bottom, before we were willing to stop. [2] We were finally motivated to seek help in the latter stage of our addiction. [3] Then it was easier for us to see the destruction, disaster and delusion of our using. [4] It was harder to deny our addiction when problems were staring us in the face.

[1] Some of us first saw the effects in of addiction on the people we were close to closest to us. [2] We became were very dependent on them to carry us emotionally through life. [3] We were always left felt angry, disappointed and hurt when they had found other interests, other friends and loved ones. [4] We regretted the past, feared dreaded the future, and we weren’t too thrilled about the present. [5] After years of searching, we were more unhappy and less satisfied than when it all began. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter One

[1] We realized that drugs were enslaving Our addictions enslaved us instead of setting us free. [2] We were prisoners in of our own mind and were condemned to slow execution by our own sense of guilt. [3] We had all but given gave up on the hope that we would ever getting help stop using drugs. [4] Our previous attempts to stay clean had always failed, causing us many years of pain and misery. [All] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter One

[1] As addicts, we have an incurable disease called addiction. [2] Addiction The disease is chronic, progressive and fatal. [3] Addiction However, it is a treatable disease: as soon as we begin to "treat" our addiction by working the Twelve Steps that have worked repeatedly, we experience very positive results. [4] We feel from our experience that each individual has to answer the question, "Am I an addict?" [5] How we got the disease, however, is of no immediate importance to us. [6] What concerns us at present is how we can continue our own We are concerned with recovery while helping the addict who still suffers. [2] Paragraph thirty-two, greybook, Chapter One. [3] Paragraph twenty-six, greybook, Chapter One. [4] Paragraph eleven, grey book, Chapter One [5]; [6] Paragraph forty-nine, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] We begin to treat our addiction by not using. [2] Many of us sought answers but failed to find any workable solution until we found each other. [3] Once we identify ourselves as addicts, help becomes possible. [4] We can see a little of ourselves in every addict and see a little of them in us. [5] This insight lets us help one another. [6] Our futures appeared future seemed hopeless until we found clean addicts who were willing to share with us. [7] Denial of our addiction is what kept us sick and, but our honest admission of our addiction enabled us to stop using. [8] The people of Narcotics Anonymous told us that they were recovering addicts and that they were recovering who had learned to live without drugs. [9] If they could do it, so could we. [6]; [7]; [8]; [9] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Chapter One

[1] The only alternatives to recovery are jails, institutions, dereliction and death. [2] Unfortunately, our disease makes us deny our addiction. [3] If you are an addict, you can find a new way of life through the N.A. Program. [4] We have become very grateful in the course of our recovery. [5] Through abstinence and through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, our lives have become useful.

[1] We realize that we are never cured, and that we carry the disease within us to the grave for the rest of our lives. [2] We have a disease, but we do recover. [3] Each day we are given another chance. [4] We addicts, recovering in N.A., are convinced that there is only one way for us to live, and that is the N.A. way. [1]; [4] Paragraph fifty-three, greybook, Chapter One.

[1] N.A. is a non-profit fellowship nonprofit Fellowship or society of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. [2] We are recovered recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. [3] This is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs. [4] There is only "One" one requirement for membership, the honest desire to stop using. [5] There are no musts in N.A. but we We suggest that you keep an open mind and give yourself a break. [6] Our program is a set of principles written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives. [7] The most important thing about them is that "They work." they work. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] There are no strings attached to N.A. [2] We are not affiliated with any other organizations, we have no leaders no initiation fees or dues, no pledges to sign, no promises to make to anyone. [3] We are not connected with any political, religious or law enforcement groups, and are under no surveillance at any time. [4] Anyone may join us, regardless of age, race, color, sexual identity, creed, religion or lack of religion. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help. [2] The newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, because we can only keep what we have by giving it away. [3] We have learned from our group experience that those who keep coming to out meetings regularly stay clean. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] Narcotics Anonymous is a Fellowship of men and women who are learning to live without drugs. [2] We are a nonprofit society and have no dues or fees of any kind. [3] Each of us has paid the price of membership. [3] We have paid for the right to recover with our pain.

[1] Surviving against all odds, we are addicts who meet regularly. [2] Addicts We respond instinctively to honest sharing The fact that the addict can feel the unconditional love and judge for themselves the "qualifications" revealed in and listen to the stories of recovering addicts, awakens the notion that at last there might be hope our members for the message of recovery. [3] We realize that there is hope for us at last. [2] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] In the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous we We make use of things the tools that have worked for those who have gone before us: other recovering addicts who have learned in N.A. to live without drugs. [2] the Twelve Steps, The Twelve Steps the principles and the many are positive tools that enable us to make our recovery possible. [3] We have one Our primary purpose is to stay clean and to help others who may turn to us for help carry the message to the addict who still suffers. [4] We are united by our common problem of addiction. [5] By meeting, talking with, and helping other addicts, we are somehow able to stay clean and to lose the compulsion to use, once a dominant force in our lives. [6] The newcomer loses his fear when he discovers that N.A. members give is the most important person at any meeting, because we can only keep what we have by giving it away the message of cleanliness in order to stay clean. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Two. [6] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] As a result, Narcotics Anonymous has had more than twenty-five many years of trial-and-error experience , face-to-face, with literally hundreds of thousands of addicts. [2] This mass of intensive first hand The firsthand experience with all kinds of problem drug users, in all phases of illness and recovery is of unparalleled, in therapeutic value. [3] Narcotics Anonymous is We are here to share freely with any addict who wants it to recover. [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] Our message of recovery is based on our own experience. [2] Before coming to the Fellowship, we exhausted ourselves by trying to use successfully, and trying to find out wondering what was wrong with us. [3] After coming to N.A. Anonymous Fellowship, we found ourselves among a very special group of people who have suffered like us and found recovery. [4] Here In their experiences, freely shared, we found hope for ourselves. [5] If the Narcotics Anonymous program worked for them, it might would work for us. [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] The only requirement to be a member of Narcotics Anonymous for membership is a desire to stop using. [2] We have seen it the program work for every one any addict who honestly and sincerely wanted wants to stop using. [3] We don’t have to be clean when we get here, but after the first meeting, we suggest that you newcomers keep coming back to the meetings and come back clean. [4] We don’t have to wait for and overdose or a jail sentence, to get help from N.A.; Narcotics Anonymous. [5] nor is addiction Addiction is not a hopeless condition from which there is no recovery. [1]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twenty-one, greybook, Chapter Two [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] The main point is that we We meet people, addicts like ourselves, yet they who are clean for months or years. [2] We watched and listened to them openly and realized We watch, listen and realize that these people had they have found a way to live and be happy enjoy life without drugs. [3] We don’t want have to settle for the limitations of the past. [4] We want to can examine and re-examine all our old ideas. [5] , and We can constantly improve on them our old ideas or replace them with new ones. [6] We , in N.A., are men and women who have discovered and admitted that we are powerless over our addictions addiction. [7] When we use, we lose. [1]; [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Two. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Chapter Two. [6] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Even those men and women finally came to the point where they realized that using was interfering with normal living. When they When we discovered that they we could not live with or without drugs, they, too, we sought to help themselves through N.A., rather than prolonging their pain prolong our suffering. [2] The program works a miracle in our hearts lives. [3] We become new different people. [4] The Steps Working the steps and maintaining abstinence give us a daily reprieve from our self-imposed life sentences. [5] We become free to move about without compulsion or guilt live. [All] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] We want desperately for the our place where addicts recover of recovery to be a safe place, free from outside influences. [2] We do have one must in N.A.: For the protection of the Fellowship, we insist that no drugs or paraphernalia be ON YOUR PERSON AT MEETINGS brought to any meeting. [1]; [2] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] We feel totally free to express ourselves within the Fellowship, because no law enforcement agencies are not involved. [2] Our meetings have an atmosphere of empathy. [3] No one judges, stereotypes, or moralizes us In accordance with the principles of recovery, we try not to judge, stereotype or moralize with each other. [4] We are not recruited and it doesn't membership does not cost anything. [5] N.A. does not provide counseling or social services. [1]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter Two

[1] Our meetings are a process of identification, hope and sharing. [2] The heart of N.A. beats when two addicts share their recovery. [3] What we do becomes real for us when we share it. [4] This happens on a larger scale in our regular meetings. [5] A meeting happens when two or more addicts gather to help each other stay clean.

[1] At the beginning of the meeting, we read N.A. literature that is available to anyone. [2] Some meetings have speakers, topic discussions or both. [3] Closed meetings are for addicts or those who think they might have a drug problem. [4] Open meeting welcome anyone wishing to experience our fellowship. [5] The atmosphere of recovery is protected by our Twelve Traditions. [6] We are fully self-supporting through voluntary contributions from our members. [7] Regardless of where the meeting takes place, we remain unaffiliated. [8] Meetings provide a place to be with fellow addicts. [9] All we need are two addicts, caring and sharing, to make a meeting.

[1] Let We let new ideas flow into you us. [2] Ask We ask questions. [3] We share what we have learned about living without drugs. [4] The Though the principles of living incorporated in the Twelve Steps may seem strange to you, but us at first, the most important thing about them is that they work. [5] Our program is in fact a way of life. [6] We learn the value of spiritual principles such as humility, surrender, humility and service from reading the N.A. literature, going to meetings and working the steps. [7] We find that our lives steadily improve, if we maintain abstinence from mind-altering, mood-changing chemicals and work the Twelve Steps to sustain our recovery. [8] Living this program gives us a relationship with a Power greater than ourselves, corrects defects and leads us to help others. [9] Where there has been wrong, the program teaches us the spirit of forgiveness. [1]; [2]; [4] Paragraph eighteen, greybook, Chapter Two. [5]; [6] Paragraph twenty-five, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Many books have been written about the nature of addiction. [2] This book primarily concerns itself with the nature of recovery. [3] If you are an addict and have found this book, please give yourself a break and read it. [All] Paragraph twenty-nine, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Before coming to the fellowship Fellowship of N.A., we could not manage our own lives. [2] , weWe could not live and enjoy life as other people do. [3] We had to have something different and we thought we had found it in drugs. [4] We placed their use ahead of the welfare of our families, our wives, husbands, and our children. [5] We had to have drugs at all costs. [6] We did many people great harm, but most of all we harmed ourselves. [7] Through our inability to accept personal responsibilities we were actually creating our own problems. [8] We seemed to be incapable of facing life on its own terms. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] Most of us realized that in our addictions, addiction we were slowly committing suicide, but addiction is such a cunning enemies enemy of life are narcotics and sedation that we had lost the power to do anything about it. [2] Jail did not help us at all Many of us ended up in jail, or sought help through medicine, religion and psychiatry seemed to have no answers for us that we could use. [3] None of these methods was sufficient for us. [4] All these methods having failed for us, Our disease always resurfaced or continued to progress until in desperation, we sought help from each other in Narcotics Anonymous. [1]; [2]; [4] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] After coming to N.A. we realized we were sick people. [2] who We suffered from a disease Alcoholism, Diabetes or Tuberculosis. from which There there is no known "Cure" cure for these all,. [3] however, it can It can, however, be arrested at some point, and "recovery" recovery is then possible. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] We are addicts seeking recovery. [2] We used drugs to cover our feelings, and did whatever was necessary to get drugs. [3] Many of us woke up sick, unable to make it to work or went to work loaded. [4] Many of us stole to support our habit. [5] We hurt the ones we loved, whatever it took to get that fix, pill, drink or joint. [6] We did all these things and told ourselves we could handle it, "I can handle it." [7] Eventually we started We were looking for a way out. [8] We didn't couldn’t face life on life’s terms. [9] In the beginning, using was fun. [10] It For us using became a habit and then it finally was necessary for survival. [11] The progression of the disease was not apparent to us. [12] We continued on the path of destruction, unaware of where it was leading us. [13] We had the disease were addicts and did not know it. [14] We avoided Through drugs, we tried to avoid reality through the use of drugs, . The pain and misery was postponed. [15] When we came down, our When the drugs wore off, we realized that we still had the same problems came back, and they were compounded with additional problems that had built up becoming worse. [16] We felt the need to use sought relief by using again and again -- more drugs, more often as our disease progressed. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12]; [13]; [14]; [15]; [16] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Three.

[1] We knew we needed sought help, but had nowhere to go and found none. [2] Doctors Often doctors didn’t understand our dilemma. [3] Usually they helped our disease They tried to help by giving us prescriptions medication. [4] Our husbands, wives and loved ones gave us anything in hopes what they had and drained themselves in the hope that we would stop using or would get better. [5] We tried substituting one drug for another and this only created a vicious cycle but this only prolonged our pain. [6] We tried limiting our usage to "social" social amounts , but our without success with this was short-lived or non-existent. [7] There is no such thing as a social addict. [8] Some of us sought spiritual guidance an answer through churches, different religions, meditation and or cultism. [9] Some of us sought a cure by geographic change. [10] , blaming We blamed our surroundings and living situations for our problem problems. [11] This attempt just to cure our problems by moving gave us new people to take advantage of a chance to take advantage of new people. [12] Some of us sought approval through sexual activities and sex or change of peers friends. [13] This approval-seeking got behavior carried us back where we started from, or worse further into our addiction. [14] Some of us tried marriage, divorce or desertion of our families. [15] Regardless of what we tried, we could not escape from our disease. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Three. [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12]; [13]; [14] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] We had reached a point in our lives where we had become a lost cause to society felt like a lost cause. [2] Our We had little worth to our jobs, families and friends was little or none family, friends or on the job. [3] Some of Many of us became were unemployed and unemployable. [4] Success Any form of success was scary frightening and unfamiliar. [5] We didn’t know what to do about it. [6] As the feeling of self-loathing grew, we had needed to use more and more to mask the feeling of hate our feelings. [7] We were sick and tired of pain and trouble. [8] We were frightened and ran from the fear. [9] , but no No matter how far we ran, the fear followed us we always carried fear with us. [10] We were hopeless, useless and lost. [11] Failure had become our way of life and self-esteem was non-existent. [12] Perhaps the most painful feeling of all was the desperation. [13] Isolation and denial of our addiction kept us moving along this downhill path. [14] Any hope of getting better disappeared. [15] Helplessness, emptiness and fear became a our way of life. [16] We were complete failures. [17] Personality change was what we really needed. [18] Change from a self-destructing to a self-affirming pattern self-destructive patterns of living was imperative life became necessary. [19] When we lie, cheat, or steal, lied, cheated or stole, we degrade degraded ourselves in our own eyes. [20] We have had enough of self-destruction. [21] We started experiencing how powerless we really were experienced our powerlessness. [22] When nothing seemed to relieve the relieved our paranoia and fear. We , we hit bottom and became ready to ask for help and accept help. [1]; [2] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Three. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Three. [15]; [16]; [17]; [18]; [21]; [22] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Chapter Three. [19]; [20] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Three.

[1] We were searching for an answer. We when we reached out and found the hand of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] We came to our first N.A. meeting in utter defeat and didn’t know what to expect. [3] After sitting in a meeting, or several meetings, we felt we began to feel that people cared and were willing to be patient with us help. [4] Although our heads minds told us that we would never make it, the people in the Fellowship gave us hope by insisting that we could recover. [5] We found that no matter what our past thoughts or past actions were, others had preceded us felt and done the same. [6] Surrounded by fellow addicts, we realized that we were not alone anymore. [7] Nothing Recovery is what happens in the room but recovery our meetings. [8] ; everyone's life is Our lives are at stake. [9] We were told that if we put things ahead of our clean time, We found that by putting recovery first, the program would not work worked. [10] When we came to the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, we We faced many three disturbing realizations.

[1] We found that the The ultimate weapon for recovery was is the recovering addict. [2] We concentrate on recovery and feelings not what we have done in the past. [3] We learned old Old friends, places and ideas were threatening are often a threat to our recovery. [4] We had need to change our playmates, playgrounds and playthings. [1] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Chapter Three. [2]; [3] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] Having realized When we realize that we were unable are not able to maintain on our own, manage without drugs, some of us immediately began begin experiencing depression, anxiety, hostility and resentment. [2] Many of us felt that our lives, due to petty Petty frustrations, minor setbacks and losses, were loneliness often make us feel that we are not getting any better. [3] We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. [4] We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad. [5] Our disease can only be arrested through abstinence. [1]; [2] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] Today, we have feelings of love, joy, hope, excitement, sadness and friendship experience a full range of feelings. [2] Before coming into the Fellowship, we were either felt elated or depressed with very little in between. [3] Our negative sense of self was has been replaced by a positive concern for others. [4] Our own Answers are provided, and problems seemed to resolve themselves are solved. [5] It is a great gift to be a feel human being, and the opportunities we seek are determined by our own sense of self-worth again. [All] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Three

[1] What a change from the way that we used to be! [2] We know the N.A. Program works. [3] The program convinced us that we needed to change ourselves, instead of trying to change the people and situations around us. [4] We discovered new opportunities. [5] We found a sense of self-worth. [6] We learned self-respect. [7] This is a program for learning. [8] By working the steps, we come to accept a Higher Power’s will. [9] Acceptance leads to recovery. [10] We lose our fear of the unknown. [11] We are set free.

[1] If what you want is what we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. [2] These are suggested only, but they are the principles that made our recovering recovery possible.

[1] This sounds like a big order, and we can’t do it all at once. [2] , we We didn’t become addicted in one day, so remember -- EASY DOES IT easy does it. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] There is one thing more than anything else that will defeat us in our recovery; this is a attitude of indifference or intolerance toward spiritual principles. [2] Although there are no musts in N.A., there are Three things of these that seem indispensable are indispensable These are Honesty honesty, Openmindedness open-mindedness and Willingness to try willingness. [3] With these we are well on our way. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] We feel that our approach to the problem disease of addiction is completely realistic for the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel. [2] We feel that our way is practical, for one addict can best understand and help another addict. [3] We believe that the sooner we face our problems within our society, in everyday living, just that much faster do we become acceptable, responsible, and productive members of that society. [All] Paragraph four, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] The only way to keep from getting or continuing a habit returning to active addiction is not to take that first fix, pill or drink drug. [2] If you are like us you know that one is too many and a thousand never enough. [3] We put great emphasis on this, for we know that when we use drugs in any form, or substitute one for another, we release our addiction all over again or create a new one. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] The substitution Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to form a new addiction pattern, which in its progression brings as many problems as before. relapse. [2] Before we came to N.A. many of us viewed alcohol separately, but we cannot afford to be confused about this. [3] We seem to forget that alcohol Alcohol is one of the oldest known drugs a drug. [4] It would appear that we We are people with addictive personalities who are strongly susceptible to alcoholic addiction. the disease of addiction who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover. [1]; [3]; [4] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] These are some the questions we have asked ourselves: Are we sure we want to stop using? [2] Do we understand and believe that we have no real control over drugs? [3] Do we recognize that in the long run, we don't didn’t use drugs -- they use used us? [4] Did jails and institutions take over the management of our lives at different times? [5] Do we fully accept the fact that our every attempt to stop using or to control our using failed? [6] Do we know that drugs have the power to change our addiction changed us into liars, thieves, and schemers? someone we didn’t want to be: dishonest, deceitful, self-willed people at odds with ourselves and our fellow man? [7] Do we know in our guts, really believe that as successful drug users, we have failed? we have failed as drug users? [1]; [2]; [3]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] When we were using, reality became so painful that oblivion was preferable. [2] We had tried to keep other people from knowing about our pain. [3] We isolated ourselves, and lived in prisons that we built out of our own with loneliness. [4] Through this desperation, we sought out help in Narcotics Anonymous. [5] When we came come to N.A. we were are physically, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt. [6] We have hurt so long enough and badly enough that we were are willing to go to any lengths length to stay clean. [5]; [6] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Four. [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Four.

[1] To Our only hope is to live by the example of those who had have faced our dilemma and had have found a way out, seemed to be our only hope. [2] Regardless of who we are, where we have come came from, or what we have done, we are accepted in N.A. [3] Our addiction gives us all a common ground for understanding one another. [1] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Four. [2] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] After As a result of attending a few meetings, webegan begin to feel like we finally belong somewhere. [2] It was is in these meetings that we were first are introduced to the Twelve Step of N.A. Narcotics Anonymous. [3] We learn to work the steps in the order that they were are written and we to use them on a daily basis. [4] They The steps are our solution. [5] They have become are our survival kit, for addiction is a deadly disease. [6] They are our defense against addiction which is a deadly disease. [7] Our steps are suggested only, but they are the principles that make our recovering recovery possible. [All] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Chapter Four

[1] It doesn’t matter what or how much we used. [2] The bottom line of In Narcotics Anonymous, is staying clean has to come first. [3] We realize that we cannot use drugs and live. [4] When we admit our powerlessness and our inability to manage our own lives, we open the door to a power greater than ourselves recovery. [5] No one could convince us that we were addicts. [6] It is an admission that we have to make for ourselves. [7] When some of us have doubts, we ask ourselves this question: "Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood-altering chemicals?" [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph one, greybook Step One

[1] Most addicts will see that control is impossible the moment it is suggested. [2] Whatever the outcome, we find that we cannot control our using for any length of time.

[1] This would clearly suggest that an addict has no control over drugs. [2] Powerlessness means using drugs against our will. [3] If we can’t stop using, how can we tell ourselves that we are in control? [4] The inability to stop using, even with the greatest willpower and the most sincere desire, is what we mean when we say, "We have absolutely no choice." [5] However, we do have a choice after we stop trying to justify our using.

[1] None of us stumbled We didn’t stumble into this Fellowship brimming with love, honesty, or open-minded open-mindedness or willingness. [2] We have all reached the a point where it seemed we could no longer continue using because of intense pain: physical, mental, and spiritual pain. [3] When we were beaten, we became willing. [1]; [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step One. [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step One

[1] Our inability to control our usage of drugs is a symptom of the disease of addiction. [2] We are powerless not only over drugs, but over our addiction as well. [3] We need to admit this fact in order to recover. [4] Addiction is a physical, mental and spiritual disease that affects every area of our lives.

[1] The physical aspect of our disease is the compulsive use of drugs: the inability to stop using once we have started. [2] The mental aspect of our disease is the obsession, or overpowering desire to use, even when we are destroying our lives. [3] The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness. [4] We felt that we could stop whenever we wanted to, despite all evidence to the contrary. [5] Denial, substitution, rationalization, justification, distrust of others, guilt, embarrassment, dereliction, degradation, isolation, and loss of control are all results of our disease. [6] Our disease is progressive, incurable and fatal. [7] Most of us are relieved to find out we have a disease instead of a moral deficiency.

[1] We are not responsible for our disease, but we are responsible for our recovery. [2] Most of us tried to stop using on our own, but we were unable to live with or without drugs. [3] Eventually we realized that we were powerless over our addiction.

[1] "By Sheer will power we had gotten clean, temporarily. Many of us tried to stop using on sheer willpower. [2] This action was a temporary solution. [3] When we began to see We saw that will power willpower alone wasn't going to pull us through anymore, would not work for any length of time. [4] , we We tried countless other remedies -- counselors, psychiatrists, hospitals, recovery houses, lovers, new towns, new jobs . [5] --everything Everything that we tried, failed. [6] We began to see where that we had rationalized the most errant outrageous sort of nonsense in order to justify the mess that we had made of our lives with drugs. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Step One. [6] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step One

[1] Until we let go of our reservations, no matter what they are, the foundation of our recovery is in danger. [2] Reservations rob us of the benefits that this program has to offer. [3] In ridding ourselves of all reservations, we surrender. [4] Then, and only then, can we be helped to recover from the disease of addiction.

[1] Now, the question is: "If we are powerless, how can Narcotics Anonymous help?" [2] We begin by asking for help. [3] The foundation of our program is the admission that we, of ourselves, do not have power over addiction. [4] When we can accept this fact, we have completed the first part of Step One.

[1] A second admission must be made before our foundation is complete. [2] If we stop here, we will know only half the truth. [3] We are great ones for manipulating the truth. [4] We say on one hand, "Yes, I am powerless over my addiction," and on the other hand, "When I get my life together, I can handle drugs." [5] Such thoughts and actions led us back to active addiction. [6] It never occurred to us to ask, "If we can’t control our addiction, how can we control our lives?" [7] We felt miserable without drugs, and our lives were unmanageable.

[1] Unemployability, dereliction and destruction are easily seen as characteristics of an unmanageable life. [2] Our families generally are disappointed, baffled and confused by our actions and often desert or disown us. [3] Becoming employed, socially acceptable and reunited with our families does not equal recovery.

[1] We have found that we had no choice but except to completely change our old ways of thinking or go back to using. [2] When we gave give it our best go, it worked works for us as it has worked for others. [3] When we could stand our old ways no longer no longer stand our old ways, we began begin to change. [All] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step One.

[1] From that point forward, we can began to see that every clean day is a successful day, and that any seeming failure is only a temporary setback no matter what happens. [2] Surrender means not having to fight anymore. [3] We accept our addiction and life the way it is. [4] We become willing to do whatever is necessary to stay clean, even the things we don’t like doing. [1] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step One. [2] Paragraph six, greybook, Step One

[1] Until we took Step One, we were full of reservations fear and doubt. [2] At this point, many of us felt lost and confused. [3] We felt different. [4] Upon working Step One this step, we affirmed our surrender to the principles of N.A. [5] , and only then did Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of being a drug addict of addictions. [6] Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat. [7] This can be frightening, but it is the foundation on which we built our lives. [1]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph three, greybook, Step One.

[1] Step One means that we don't have to make excuses for the way we are, do not have to use, and that this is a great freedom. [2] It took a while for some of us to realize how unmanageable that our lives had become unmanageable. [3] ; for For others, this the unmanageability of their lives was about the only thing of which we could be sure that was clear. [4] We knew in our hearts that drugs have had the power to change us into something someone that we didn’t want to be, and we of all people had surely had enough of self-destruction. [1] Paragraph six, greybook, Step One. [2]; [3] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step One. [4] Paragraph four, greybook, Step One.

[1] As we got Being clean and worked working this Step step, we were are released from our chains. [2] None However, none of the Steps steps work by magic. [3] We do not just say the words of the Steps this step; we learn to live them. [4] We see for ourselves that the program has something to offer us. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step One.

[1] We had have found hope. [2] We saw that we could can learn to function in the world in which we live in, that we, too could. [3] We can find meaning and purpose in life and that we could be rescued from insanity, depravity and death. [All] Paragraph seventeen, greybook, Step One.

[1] We could When we admit that we were truly powerless over our addiction and that our lives were unmanageable. our powerlessness and inability to manage our own lives, We could admit complete defeat, and the we open the door for a Power greater than ourselves to help came us. [2] It is not where we are were that counts, but where we are going. [1] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step One. [2] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step One.

[1] The Second Step is the most important thing that must happen for us necessary if we expect to achieve any sort of ongoing recovery. [2] The First Step leaves us where we with a need to come to believe in something that can help us with out powerlessness and sense of, uselessness, and helplessness. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Two.

[1] The First Step had left a vacuum in our lives. [2] We need to find something to fill that void. [3] This is the purpose of the Second Step.

[1] Some of us didn’t take this step seriously at first; we passed over it with a minimum of concern, only to find the next steps would not work until we worked Step Two. [2] Even when we admitted that we needed help with our drug problem, many of us would not admit to the need for faith and sanity.

[1] We have a disease: progressive, incurable and terminal fatal. [2] The most amazing single fact about the disease is that One way or another we went out and bought it our destruction on the time payment plan! [3] Think about that--you, me, everyone we meet in N.A.; All of us, from the junkie snatching purses on the street, and to the sweet little ladies old lady hitting two or three doctors for their perfectly legal prescriptions, All of us have this one thing in common:we buy the disease that kills us And, one way or another, we usually pay for it, we seek our destruction a bag at a time , a few pills at a time, or a bottle at a time until we die. [4] This is at least part of the insanity of addiction. [5] The price may seem higher for the girl addict who prostitutes herself for her a fix than it is for the woman addict who merely lies to her a doctor. [6] ; but ultimately, Ultimately, both pay for their disease with their lives. [7] Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Two

[1] Many of us realize when we get to the program that we have gone back time and again to using, even though we knew that we were destroying our lives. [2] Insanity is using drugs day after day knowing that only physical and mental destruction comes when we use. [3] The most obvious insanity of the disease of addiction is the obsession to use drugs.

[1] Ask yourself this question, Do I believe it would be insane to walk up to someone and say, "Would you please sell me my own death--on the time plan?" or "May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident?" [2] If you can agree that this would be an insane thing, comparable to giving yourself an injection of deadly poison, only slower, you should have no trouble problem with the Second Step. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Two

[1] In this program, the first thing we do is stop using drugs. [2] At this point, we begin to feel the pain of living without drugs or anything to replace them. [3] The pain forces us to seek a Power greater than ourselves that can relieve our obsession to use.

[1] The process of coming to believe is similar for most addicts. [2] Most of us lacked a working relationship with a Higher Power.

[1] The Higher Power we use in N.A. is a lot like this: We begin to develop this relationship by simply admitting to the possibility of a power Power greater than ourselves. [2] We had Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive power greater than ourselves force in our lives. [3] Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destructive and despair. [4] At some point, we realized that we needed the help of some Power greater that our addiction. [5] Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us. [6] No one is going to decide for us. [7] You We can call it love, or harmony, or peace, or cleanness, or good, the group, the program, or you we can call it God. [8] The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring and greater than ourselves. [9] You We don’t have to be religious to accept the this idea of a power greater than yourself!. [10] The point is that we open our minds to believe. [11] We may have difficulty with this, but by keeping and open mind, sooner or later, we find the help we need. [1] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Two. [2] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Two. [7]; [9] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Two.

[1] We talked and listened to others. [2] We saw other people recovering, and they told us what was working for them. [3] We began to see evidence of some Power that could not be fully explained. [4] Confronted with this evidence, we began to accept the existence of a Power greater than ourselves [5] We can use this Power long before we understand it

[1] As we see coincidences and miracles happening in our lives, acceptance becomes trust. [2] We grow to feel comfortable with our Higher Power as a source of strength. [3] As we learn to trust this Power, we begin to overcome our fear of life.

[1] The process of coming to believe restores us to sanity. [2] The strength to move into action comes from this belief. [3] We need to accept this step to start our on the road to recovery. [4] When our belief has grown to some point of comfort, we are ready for Step Three. [3]; [4] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Step Two.

"We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

[1] As addicts, we turned our will and our lives over many times to a destructive power. [2] As practicing addicts, our Our will and our lives were controlled by the drug drugs. [3] We were trapped by our need for connections and cash. instant gratification that drugs gave us. [4] During that time, our total being the mind, body, the soul -- body, mind and spirit -- was dominated by drugs. [5] For a time it was pleasurable, at least in the early stages, then the euphoria began to wear off and we saw the ugly side of addiction. [6] Often we We found that the higher our drugs took us, the lower they brought us. [7] When our nerves were jangling like a fire alarm, we We faced two choices. Either : either we suffered the pain of withdrawal or we took more drugs. [2]; [3]; [4] Paraagraph one, greybook, Step Three. [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Three

[1] For all addicts of us, the day comes came when there is was no longer a choice. We must have more drugs. ; we had to use. [2] Having given our will and lives over to addiction, In in utter desperation, we looked for another way. [3] In Narcotics Anonymous, we are told that we can decide to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a God of our own understanding God as we understand Him. [4] This is a giant step, anyone can take it. [5] We don’t have to be religious; anyone can take this step. [6] All that is required is a willingness to believe. [7] All that is essential is that we open the door to a Power greater than ourselves. [1] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Three. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Three

[1] Our concept of God comes not from dogma but from what we believe and from what works for us. [2] If you Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps the rest of us clean, that's fine. [3] The right to a God of your understanding is total and without any catches. [4] Because we have this right, it is necessary to be honest about our belief if we are to grow spiritually. [2] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Three

[1] We found that all we needed to do was try. [2] When we gave our best effort to the, the program, it worked for us as it has worked for countless others. [3] The Third Step does not say, "We turned our will and our lives over to the care of God." [4] It says, "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." [5] We made the decision; it was not made for us by the drugs, our families, a probation officer, judge, therapist or doctor. [6] We did made it! [7] For the first time since that first high, we have made a decision for ourselves. [1]; [2] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Three. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Three

[1] The word decision implies action. [2] This decision is based on faith. [3] We have only to believe that the miracle that we see working in the lives of clean addicts can happen to any addict with the desire to change. [4] We simply realize there is a force for spiritual growth that can help us become more tolerant, patient, and useful in helping others. [5] Many of us have said, "Take my will and my life. [6] Guide me in my recovery. [7] Go off by yourself and say silently, "God, I've made a mess of my life. I can't solve my problems and I ask you to take care of me and show Show me how to live." [8] The release by letting go and letting God relief of "letting go and letting God" helps us develop what works here and now a life that is worth living. [7] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Three. [8] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Three

[1] Surrendering to the will of our Higher Power gets easier with daily practice. [2] When we honestly try, it works. [3] Many of us start our day with a simple request for guidance from our Higher Power.

[1] Although we know that "turning it over" works, we may still take our will and our life back. [2] We may even get angry because God permits it. [3] At times during our recovery, the decision to ask for God’s help is our greatest source of strength and courage. [4] We cannot make this decision often enough. [5] The only price is to quit fighting, We surrender quietly, and let the God of our own understanding take care of us. [5] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] At first, our heads reeled with the questions: "What will happen when I turn my life over? [2] Will I become ‘perfect’?" [3] We may have been more realistic than this. [4] Some of us had to turn to an experienced N.A. member and ask, "What was it like for you?" [5] The answer will vary from member to member. [6] Most of us feel open-mindedness, willingness and surrender are the keys to this step.

[1] We have surrendered our will and our lives to the care of a Power greater than ourselves. [2] If we are thorough and sincere, we will notice a change for the better. [3] Our fears are lessened, and faith begins to grow as we learn the true meaning of surrender. [4] We have learned to stop are no longer fighting and are learning to live fear, anger, guilt, self-pity or depression. [5] We realize that the Power that brought us to this program is still with us and will continue to guide us if we allow it. [6] We are slowly beginning to lose the paralyzing fear of hopelessness. [7] The proof of this step is shown in the way we live. [4] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] We have come to enjoy clean living living clean and want more of the good things that the N.A. Fellowship holds for us. [2] We know now that we cannot pause in our spiritual program; we want all that we can get. [All] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] We are now ready for our first honest self-appraisal, and we begin with Step Four. [All] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Three

[1] The purpose of a searching and fearless moral inventory is to sort through the confusion and the contradiction of our lives, so that we can find out who we really are. [2] We are starting a new way of life and need to be rid of the burdens and traps that controlled us and prevented our growth.

[1] As we approach this step, most of us are afraid that there is a monster inside of us that, if released, will destroy us. [2] This fear can cause us to put off our inventory or may even prevent us from taking this crucial step at all. [3] We have found a loving, personal God to whom we can turn. [4] We no longer need to be afraid.

[1] We have been experts at self-deception and rationalization. [2] By writing our inventory, we can overcome these obstacles. [3] A written inventory will unlock parts of our subconscious that remain hidden when we simply think about or talk about who we are. [4] Once it is all down on paper, it is much easier to see, and much harder to deny our true nature. [5] Honest self-assessment is one of the keys to our new way of life.

[1] Let’s face it; when we were using, we weren't very were not honest with ourselves. [2] We are finally beginning to become becoming honest with ourselves when we admit our that addiction has whipped defeated us and that we need help. [3] It took a long time to get where we could admit that we were beaten. [4] We are probably not going to found that we do not recover physically, mentally or spiritually overnight. [5] Step Four is going to will help us toward our recovery more than we can imagine. [6] Most of us have found find that we were neither as terrible, nor as wonderful, as we supposed. [7] Most of us were We are surprised to find that we had many have good points in our inventory. [8] Ask anyone Anyone who has some time in the program and who has the kind of life you want for yourself, they worked this step will tell you that the Fourth Step was a turning point in their lives life. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [7]; [8] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Four. [6] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Some people of us make the mistake of approaching the Fourth Step as if it were a confession of how horrible they we are -- what a bad person they we have been. [2] A In this new way of life, a binge of emotional sorrow over real or imagined wrongs will not help us. In fact, it can be quite harmful dangerous. [3] This is not the purpose of the Fourth Step. [4] We are trying to free ourselves of living in old, useless patterns. [5] We take the Fourth Step to grow and to gain necessary strength and insight to enable us to grow in this new way of life. [6] You We may approach the Fourth Step in a number of ways. [1] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Four. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Four. [6] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Four.

[1] To have the faith and courage to write a fearless inventory, Steps One, Two and Three are the necessary preparation. [2] It is advisable that before you we start, we go over the first Three Steps three steps with your a sponsor. [3] Be We get comfortable with your our understanding of these steps. [4] Allow yourself We allow ourselves the privilege of feeling good about what you we are doing. [5] We have been thrashing about for a long time and have gotten nowhere. [6] Now we are going to take it easy start the Fourth Step and not let things frighten us go of fear. [7] We simply put it on paper, to the best of our present ability. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Four.

[1] We must be done with the past, not cling to it. [2] We want to look our past in the face and, see it for what it really was and then to release it so we can live today. [3] The past, for most of us, has been a ghost in the closet. [4] We have been afraid to open that closet for fear of what that ghost may do to us. [5] You don't We do not have to do this look at the past alone. [6] Your will and your life Our wills and our lives are now in the hands of the Source of all strength--tap into the Source! our Higher Power. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Four. [5]; [6] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Writing a thorough and honest inventory looks seemed impossible to most of us. [2] It is--if we are It was, as long as we were operating under our own "power." power. [3] Take We take a few quiet moments before writing and pray for "the power to carry it out." ask for the strength to be fearless and thorough. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Four.

[1] In Step Four, we begin to get in touch with ourselves. [2] We write down our fears, our resentments and our guilt about our liabilities such as guilt, shame, remorse, self-pity, resentment, anger, depression, frustration, confusion, loneliness, anxiety, betrayal, hopelessness, failure, fear and denial. [2] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Stay We write about the things that bother us here in the and now -you are on Step Four. [2] We have a tendency to think negatively, so putting it on paper gives us a chance to look more positively at what is happening. [1] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Four.

[1] Assets must also be considered, if we are to get an accurate and complete picture of ourselves. [2] This is very difficult for most of us, because it is hard to accept that we have good qualities. [3] However, we all have assets, many of them newly found in the program, such as being clean, open-mindedness, God-awareness, honesty with others, acceptance, positive action, sharing, willingness, courage, faith, caring, gratitude, kindness and generosity. [4] We examine in depth our Also, our inventories usually include material on relationships with people, places and situations asking ourselves what we have demanded of these relationships. [4] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] This Fourth Step can be a wonderful adventure, reviewing We review our past performance and our present behavior to see what we want to keep and what we want to be rid of discard. [2] No one is forcing us to give up our misery. [3] This step has the reputation of being difficult. In ; in reality, it is quite simple. [1]; [3] Paragraph seventeen, greybook, Step Four.

[1] We write our inventory without considering the Fifth Step. [2] We work Step Four as is there were no Step Five. [3] We can write alone or near other people; whatever is more comfortable to the writer is fine. [4] We can write as long or as short as needed. [5] Someone with experience can help. [6] With pen and paper, we begin the The important thing is to write a moral inventory. [7] If the word moral bothers us, we may call it a positive/negative inventory , or a good/bad inventory. [6]; [7] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Four.

[1] The way to write an inventory is to write it!. [2] Thinking about an inventory, talking about it, theorizing about the inventory will not get it written. [3] Sit We sit down with a notebook, pray, ask for guidance, pick up your our pen and start writing. [4] Anything we think about is possibly inventory material. [5] We When we realize how little we have to lose, and how much we have to gain, we begin this step. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Four. [4]; [5] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Four.

[1] A basic rule of thumb is that we can write too little, but yet we can never write too much. [2] The inventory will fit the individual, we simply write until the brain is emptied. [3] Perhaps this seems difficult or painful. [4] It may appear impossible. [5] We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic. [6] We may feel like avoiding an inventory because of a fear of failure. [7] When we ignore our feelings, the tension becomes too much for us. [8] The fear of impending doom is so great that it overrides our fear of failure. [1]; [2] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Four.

[1] An inventory becomes a relief, because the pain of doing it is less than the pain of not doing it. [2] We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery. [3] Thus, facing it becomes unavoidable. [4] Every topic of step meetings seems to be on the Fourth Step or doing a daily inventory. [5] Through the inventory process, we are able to deal with all the things that can build up. [6] The more we live our program, the more God seems to put us in positions where issues surface. [7] When issues surface, we write about them. [8] We begin enjoying our recovery, because we have a way to resolve shame, guilt, or resentment.

[1] The stress once trapped inside of us is released. [2] Writing will lift the lid off of our pressure cooker. [3] We decide whether we want to serve it up, put the lid back on it, or throw it our. [4] We no longer have to stew in it.

[1] We are not going to be perfect. [2] If we were perfect, we would not be human. [3] The important thing is that we do our best. [4] We use tools available to us, and because we do not want to lose any of what we have gained, we will want to continue in the program. we develop the ability to survive our emotions. [5] We do not want to lose any of what we have gained; we want to continue in the program. [6] It is our experience that no matter how searching and thorough, no inventory is of any lasting effect unless it is promptly followed by an equally thorough Step Five Fifth Step. [All] Paragraph nineteen, greybook, Step Four

[1] The Fifth Step is the key to freedom. [2] It allows us to live clean in the present. [3] Sharing the exact nature of our wrongs sets us free to live. [4] After taking a thorough Fourth Step, we have to deal with what we have found in the contents of our inventory. [5] We are told that if we keep these defects inside us, they could lead us to using again will eventually sicken us and keep us from taking part in our new way of life. [6] If we are not honest when we take a Fifth Step, but we really don't get honest, we will have the same negative results that dishonesty brought us in the past. [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Step Five suggests that we admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. [2] We looked at our wrongs, examined our behavior patterns, and started to see the deeper aspects of our disease. [3] Now we sit with another person and share our inventory out loud.

[1] Our Higher Power will be with us when we do this, and during our Fifth Step. [2] We will receive help to free the fear of facing and be free to face ourselves and another human being, many of us, before we take Step Five, fear that God will turn away from us, when we reveal ourselves to Him. [3] It seemed unnecessary to some of us to admit the exact nature of our wrongs to God our Higher Power. [4] "God already knows that stuff," we rationalized. [5] True, God does already know all that stuff, but until we face God with it, we will never really believe that He does. The Although He already knows, the admission must come from our own lips to be truly effective for us. [6] Step Five is not simple a reading of Step Four. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Five.

[1] For years, we have avoided seeing ourselves as we really are were. [2] We were ashamed of ourselves and felt isolated from the rest of the world. [3] Now, we've got this Now that we have the shameful part of our past trapped on paper. , We we can sweep it out of our lives if we face and admit it. [4] It would be a tragic mistake to have write it all written down and then just shove it into in a drawer. [5] These defects grow in the dark, and die in the light of exposure. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, we had felt that no one could ever relate to us or understand the reasons behind the things that we had done. [2] We have feared that if we ever revealed ourselves as we really were, we would surely be rejected. [3] Most addicts are uncomfortable about this. [4] We quickly realized recognize that we had have been unrealistic in feeling that this way. [5] N.A. people did Our fellow members do understand us. [1]; [2]; [4]; [5] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Five.

[1] We must carefully choose the person who is to hear our Fifth Step. [2] Whoever we select, we make certain We must make sure that they know what we are attempting to do doing and why we are doing it. [3] Although there is no hard rule about what kind of the person we should choose of our choice, it is important that we trust that the person. [4] Only complete confidence in the Person's person’s integrity and closed mouth discretion can make us willing to be thorough in this Step step. [5] Some of us take our Fifth Step with a total stranger, but most although some of us feel most more comfortable choosing a member of N.A Narcotics Anonymous. [6] We know that a fellow another addict would be less likely to judge us with malice or misunderstanding. [1]; [3]; [4] Paragraph for, greybook, Step Five. [2]; [5]; [6] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Once we make up our minds a choice and are actually alone with the that person, we have chosen to accept our confidence we proceed with with enthusiasm their encouragement. [2] We want to be very definite, honest and thorough, We realize realizing that this is a life and death matter. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Some of us tried to hide part of our past in an attempt to find an easier way of dealing with our inner feelings. [2] We may think that we have done enough by writing about our past. [3] We cannot afford this mistake. [4] This step will expose our motives and our actions. [5] We cannot expect these things to reveal themselves. [6] Our embarrassment is eventually overcome, and we can avoid future guilt.

[1] We do not procrastinate. [2] We must be exact. [3] We want to tell the a simple truth, cut and dry dried, as quickly as possible. [4] There is always a danger that we will exaggerate our wrongs. [5] , and an equal danger that we will It is equally dangerous to minimize or rationalize away our part in past situations. [6] If we are anything like we were when we first entered the N.A. Fellowship, we will still tend to After all, we still want to sound good. [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Five. [1]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Addicts tend to live secret lives. [2] For many years, we have covered up our low self-esteem by hiding behind phony images that we hoped would fool people. [3] Unfortunately, ended up fooling we fooled ourselves more than anyone. [4] Although we often appeared attractive and confident on the outside, we were really hiding a shaky, insecure person on the inside. [5] The masks have to go. [6] We share our inventory as it is written, skipping nothing. [7] We continue to approach this step with honesty and thoroughness until we finish. [8] It was is a great relief to be get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past guilt. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step Five. [8] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Usually, as we share this Step step, the listener will share some of his or her story too. [2] , and we will We find out that the things about ourselves that we thought were so awful or different weren't all that unusual we are not unique. [3] We see, by the acceptance in the eyes of our confidant, that we can be forgiven, even loved, accepted just the way we are. [All] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Five.

[1] We will may never be able to name remember all of our past mistakes. [2] We do, however, give it our best and most complete effort. [3] We begin to experience real personal feelings of a spiritual nature. [4] Where once we had spiritual theories, we now begin to awaken to spiritual reality. [5] Even though our This initial examination of ourselves usually reveals some thing about ourselves that we don't particularly like, facing these things behavior patterns and bringing them out in the open makes it possible for us to deal with them constructively. [6] We cannot make these changes alone. [7] We will need our Higher Power's help, and the help of the Narcotics Anonymous Fellowship the help of God, as we understand Him, and the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Five. [1] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Five.

[1] Why ask for something before we are ready for it? [2] This would be asking for trouble. [3] So many times addicts have sought the rewards of hard work without the labor. [4] Willingness is what we strive for in Step Six. [5] How sincerely we work Step Six this step will be proportionate to our desire for change. [4]; [5] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Six.

[1] Do we really want to be rid of our resentments, our angers anger, our fears fear? [2] Many of us cling to our fears, doubts, self-loathing or hatred of others, because there is a certain distorted security in familiar pain. [3] It seems safer to hold on to the old familiar pain embrace what we know than to let go of it for the unknown. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Six. [3] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Six.

[1] Letting go of character defects should be done with love decisively. [2] We suffer because their demands weaken us. [3] Where we were proud, we now find that we cannot get away with arrogance. [4] If we are not humble, we are humiliated. [5] If we are greedy, we find that we are never satisfied. [6] Before taking Steps Four and Five, we could indulge in fear, dishonesty or self-pity. [7] Now indulgence in these character defects clouds our ability to think logically. [8] Selfishness becomes an intolerable, destructive chain that ties us to our bad habits. [9] Our defects drain us of all our time and energy. [1] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Six.

[1] We examine the Fourth Step inventory and get a good look at what these defects are doing to our lives. [2] We begin to long for freedom from these defects. [3] We pray or otherwise become willing, ready and able to let God remove all these destructive traits. [4] We need a personality change, if we are to stay clean. [5] We want to change.

[1] We should approach old defects with patience and understanding, for they have served us well in days past an open mind. [2] We are aware of them and yet we still make the same mistakes and are unable to break the bad habits. [3] We look to the Fellowship for the kind of life that we want for ourselves. [4] We ask our friends, "Did you let go?" [5] Without Almost without exception the answer is, "Yes, to the best of our my ability." [6] When we see how our defects exist in our lives and accept them, we can let go of them and get on with our new life. [7] We learn that we are growing when we make new mistakes instead of repeating old ones. [1[ Paragraph five, greybook, Step Six. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Six. [7] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Step Six.

[1] When we are working Step Six, it is important to remember that we are human and should not place great unrealistic expectations on ourselves. [2] This is a step of willingness. [3] That Willingness is the spiritual principle of Step Six. [4] It is as if to say that we are now willing to Step Six helps us move along in a spiritual lines toward a destination we couldn't imagine direction. [5] Being human we will of course fall short wander off course. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Six. [4]; [5] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Six

[1] Rebellion is a character defect that spoils us here. [2] We need not lose faith when we become rebellious. [3] Rebellion can produce indifference or intolerance which can be overcome by persistent effort. [4] We keep asking for willingness. [5] We may be doubtful that God will see fit to relieve us or that something will go wrong. [6] We ask another member who says, "You’re right where you’re supposed to be." [7] We renew our readiness to have our defects removed. [8] We surrender to the simple suggestions that the program offers us. [9] Even though we are not entirely ready, we are headed in the right direction.

[1] Eventually faith, humility and acceptance replace pride and rebellion. [2] We come to know ourselves. [3] We find ourselves growing into mature consciousness. [4] We begin to feel better, as willingness grows into hope. [5] Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life. [6] With this in sight, we put our willingness into action by moving on to Step Seven.

[1] Character defects or shortcomings are those things that cause pain and misery all of our lives. [2] If they contributed to our health and happiness, we would not have come to such a state of desperation. [3] We had to become ready to have God, as we understood Him, remove all these defects.

[1] Having decided that we want God, as we understood Him, to relieve us of the useless or destructive aspects of our personalities, we have arrived at the Seventh Step. [2] We couldn’t handle the trials and tribulations ordeal of life all by ourselves. [3] It wasn’t until we made a real mess of our lives that we realized that we couldn’t do it alone. [3] By admitting that this, we achieved our first a glimpse of humility. [4] This is the main ingredient of Step Seven. [5] Humility is a result of getting honest with ourselves. [6] We have practiced being honest since Step One. [7] We accepted our addicition and powerlessness. [8] We found a strength beyond ourselves and learned to rely on it. [9] We examined our lives and discovered who we really are. [10] To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves. [11] None of us is perfectly good or perfectly bad. [12] We are people who have assets and liabilities. [13] Most importantly, we are human. [1] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Seven. [2]; [3];[4] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] Humility is as much a part of staying clean as food and water are to staying alive. [2] As we struggled along in our addiction progressed, we devoted our energy toward satisfying our material needs desires. [3] All other needs were beyond our reach. [4] We always wanted gratification of our basic desires. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] The Seventh Step is an action step, and it is time to ask God for help and relief. [2] We have to understand that our way of thinking is not the only way; other people can give us direction. [3] When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive. [4] We must realize that we are not perfect. [5] There will always be room for growth. [6] If we truly want to be free, we will take a good look at input from fellow addicts. [7] If the defects shortcomings we have discovered discover are real, and we have a chance to be rid of them, we would will surely experience a sense of well-being when we rid ourselves of them. [7] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] Some will want to get on their knees for this Step step. [2] Some will be very quiet, or and others will put forth a great mental emotional effort to show intense willingness. [3] The work humble applies because we approach this Power greater than ourselves to ask for the most wondrous gift of the program the freedom to live without the limitations of our past ways. [4] Many of us are willing to work this step without reservations, on pure blind faith, because we are sick of what we have been doing and how we are feeling. [5] However we want to handle it Whatever works, we go all the way. [1]; [2]; [3]; [5] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] This is our road to spiritual growth. [2] We change every day. [3] We gradually and carefully pull ourselves out of the isolation and loneliness of addiction and into the mainstream of life. [4] This comes not from growth is not the result of wishing, but from of action and prayer. [5] The main objective of Step Seven is to get out of ourselves and strive for achieving to achieve the will of our Higher Power. [4]; [5] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] If we are careless and fail to grasp the spiritual meaning of this Step step, it will seem an unbearable chore, impossible to complete and unlikely to do anything but we may have difficulties and stir up old troubles. [2] One danger is in being too hard on ourselves. [1] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] Sharing with other recovering addicts will help us to avoid becoming morbidly serious about ourselves. [2] Accepting the defects of others can help us become humble and pave the way for our own defects to be relieved. [3] God often works through those who care enough about recovery to help make us aware of our shortcomings.

[1] We have noticed that humility plays a big part in this program and our new way of life. [2] We take our inventory; we become ready to let God humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. [3] This is our road to spiritual growth, to change our character, day by day, to gradually, carefully and simply pull ourselves out of the isolation and loneliness of addiction into this mainstream of useful Fellowship and we will want to continue. [4] We are ready for Step Eight. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Seven.

[1] This Step Eight is a good the test of our newfound humility, we consult with our sponsors in this matter. [2] Our purpose is to achieve freedom from the guilt that we have carried so far, with so much pain. [3] , so that we can We want to look the world in the eye with neither aggressiveness nor fear. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Eight..

[1] Are we willing to make a list of all persons we had harmed to clear away the fear and guilt that our past holds for us? [2] Our experience tells us that we must become willing before this step will have any effect.

[1] The Eighth Step is not easy; it demands a new kind of honesty about our relations with other people. [2] The Eighth Step starts the procedure of forgiving other people, being process of forgiveness: We forgive others; possible we are forgiven by them, and learning; and finally we forgive ourselves and learn how to live in the world as a drug-free human being. [3] By the time we reach this step, we have become ready to understand rather than to be understood. [4] We can live and let live easier when we know the areas in which we owe amends. [5] It seems hard now, but once we have done it, we will wonder why we did not do it long ago. [1] Paragraph four, greybook, Step Nine. [2] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] We need some real honesty before we can make an accurate list. [2] In preparing to make the Eighth Step list, it is helpful to define harm. [3] One definition of harm is physical or mental damage. [4] Another definition of harm is inflicting pain, suffering or loss. [5] The damage may be caused by something that is said, or done or left undone. [6] , and the harm resulting from these Harm can result from words or actions, may be either intentional or unintentional on the part of the person who is inflicting the harm. [7] The degree of harm can run range from making someone feel mentally uncomfortable to inflicting bodily injury or even death. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Nine. [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] The Eighth Step presents us with a problem. [2] A problem many of us seem to have with the Eighth Step and the admission of the Many of us have difficulty admitting that we caused harm we did is the belief for others, because we thought we were victims, not victimizers in our addiction of our addiction. [3] Avoiding this rationalization is crucial to the Eighth Step. [4] We had to think of disassociating what had been must separate what was done to us and what we had done from what we did to others. [5] We were forced to cut away all our justifications and all our ideas of being a victim. [6] We often feel that we only harmed ourselves, yet we usually list ourselves last, if at all. [7] This step is doing the legwork to repair the wreckage of our lives. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph twelve, greybook, Step Eight. [4]; [5] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] It will not make us better persons people to judge the faults of another. [2] The thing that will make us It will make us feel better is to clean up our lives by relieving ourselves of guilt. [3] By writing our list, we can no longer deny that we caused harm. [4] We admit that we hurt others, directly or indirectly, through some action, lie, broken promise or neglect. [1]; [2] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] We make our list, or take it from our Fourth Step, and add to it any more additional people as we can think of them. [2] and we We face that this list honestly, and openly and examine our fault faults so we can become willing to make amends. [All] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] In some cases, we may not know who it was the persons that we have wronged. [2] Just about While using, anyone that comes into contact with an active addict risks being harmed we contacted was at risk. [3] Many members mention their parents, spouses, children, boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, lovers, other addicts, casual acquaintances, co-workers, employers, teachers, landlords, and total strangers. [4] We may also place ourselves on the list, because while practicing our addiction, we have slowly been killing ourselves. [5] We may find it beneficial to make a separate list of people to whom we owe financial amends. [1] Paragraph ten, greybook, Step Eight. [2]; [3] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] As with each step, we must be thorough. [2] Most of us fall short of our goals more often than we exceed them. [3] At the same time, we cannot put off completion of this step just because we are not sure that our list is complete. [4] We are never finished.

[1] The final difficulty in working the Eighth Step is separating it from the Ninth Step. [2] Projecting Projections about the Ninth Step actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing. [3] We do this step as is there were no Ninth Step. [4] We do not even think about making the amends but just concentrate on exactly what the Eighth Step says: which is to make a list and to become willing. [5] The main thing this Step step does for us is to help build awareness that, little by little, we are gaining new attitudes about ourselves and how we deal with other people. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph fourteen, greybook, Step Eight. [5] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] Listening carefully to other members share their experience regarding this step can relieve any confusion that we may have about writing our list. [2] Also, our sponsors may share with how Step Eight worked for them. [3] Asking a question during a meeting can give us the benefit of group conscience.

[1] The Eighth Step offers a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse. [2] Our futures are changed, because we don’t have to avoid those who we have harmed. [3] As a result of this step, we receive a new freedom that can end isolation. [4] As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving. [5] At least, we know that we are no longer intentionally making life miserable for people.

[1] The Eighth Step is actually an action Step step. [2] And like Like all the action Steps steps, it offers immediate benefits. [3] We are now free to begin our amends in Step Nine. [1]; [2] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Eight.

[1] This step should not be avoided. [2] If we avoid this Step do, we are simply reserving a place in our program to get loaded for relapse. [3] Pride, fear and procrastination often seem an impossible barrier and; they stand in our the way of progress and growth through the Ninth Step. [4] The important thing is to take action and to be ready to accept the reactions of those persons we have harmed. [5] We make have made amends as to the best we could of our ability. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Nine.

[1] Timing is an essential part of this Step step. [2] We should make amends when the opportunity presents itself, as long as except when to do so will not cause more harm. [3] Sometimes we cannot actually make the amends; it is neither possible nor practical. [4] In some cases, we amends may be beyond our means. [5] We find that willingness can serve in the place of action where we are unable to contact the person that we have harmed. [6] However, we should never fail to contact anyone because of embarrassment, fear or procrastination. [1]; [2] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Nine. [4] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Nine.

[1] We want to get be free of our fear guilt, but we don’t wish to do so at a price to the expense of anyone else. [2] We might run the risk of involving a third person or some companion from our using days who does not wish to be exposed. [3] We do not have the right or the need to endanger another person. [4] It is very important that we often necessary to take guidance from our sponsors or spiritual advisors in this matter others in these matters. [1]; [4] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Nine.

[1] We recommend turning over our legal problems over to lawyers. Professional help is available to help us with and our financial and or medical problems to professionals. [2] Part of learning how to live successfully is not to take on problems and responsibilities that we are not equipped to handle learning when we need help. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Nine.

[1] In some old relationships, an unresolved conflict exists may still exist. [2] We enter the old conflict and resolve it We do our part to resolve old conflicts by making our amends. [3] , and We want to step back away from further antagonism and ongoing resentments. [4] In many instances, of past wrongs we will need to go somewhere and humbly ask forgiveness we can only go to the person and humbly ask for understanding of past wrongs. [5] Sometimes this will be a joyous occasion when some old friend friends or relative proves very relatives prove willing to let by-gones be by-gones and welcome us back to the land of the living go of their bitterness. [6] Contacting someone who is still hurting from the burn of our misdeeds can be dangerous. [7] Indirect amends may be necessary where direct ones would be unsafe or endanger other people. [8] We can only make our amends to the best of our ability and they can either accept it or deny it. [9] We try to remember that when we make amends, we are doing it for ourselves. [10] We feel relieved, instead of feeling knocked down and drained in our lives Instead of feeling guilty and remorseful, we feel relieved about our past. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [8]; [10] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Nine.

[1] We accept that it was our actions that caused our negative attitude. [2] Step Nine helps us with our guilt and helps others with their anger. [3] Staying clean is also an Sometimes, the only amend because we're no longer part of the problem we can make is to stay clean. [4] We owe it to ourselves and to our loved ones. [5] We are no longer making a mess in society as a result of our using. [6] Sometimes the only way we can make amends is to contribute to society. [7] Now, we are helping ourselves and other addicts to recover. [8] This is a tremendous amend to the whole community. [1]; [2] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Nine. [3] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Nine.

[1] In the progress process of our recovery, we were are restored to sanity and part of sanity is effectively relating to others. [2] We less often view people as a threat to our security. [3] Real security in our gut and in our recovery will replace the physical ache and mental confusion that we have experienced in the past. [4] We will want to address ourselves to these people approach those we have harmed with love humility and patience. [5] Fear of relapse will make many Many of our most sincere well-wishers may be reluctant to accept our recovery as real. [6] We must remember the pain that they have known. [7] In time, many seeming miracles will occur. [8] Many of us that who were separated from our children families succeed in re-establishing deep emotional bonds establishing relationships with them. [9] Eventually it becomes easier for them to accept the change in us. [10] Clean time speaks for itself. [11] Patience the great method of the Fellowship is an important part of our recovery. [12] The unconditional love we experience will rejuvenate our will to live, and each positive move on our part will be matched by an unexpected opportunity. [13] A lot of courage and faith goes into making an amend, and a lot of spiritual growth results. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [10]; [11]; [12] Paragraph nine, greybook, Step Nine.

[1] We are achieving freedom from the wreckage of our past. [2] We will want to keep our house in order by practicing a continuous personal inventory in Step Ten.

"We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

[1] Step Ten frees us from the wreckage of our present. [2] If we do not stay aware of our defects, they can drive us into a corner that we can’t get out of clean.

[1] One of the first things we learn in Narcotics Anonymous is that if we use, we lose. [2] By the same token, we won’t experience as much pain if we can avoid the things that cause us pain. [3] Continuing to take a personal inventory means that we form a habit of looking at ourselves, our actions, our attitudes and our relationships on a regular basis. [3] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Step Ten.

[1] We are creatures of habit and are vulnerable to our old ways of thinking and reacting. [2] At times it seems easier to continue in the old rut of self-destruction than to attempt a new and seemingly dangerous route. [3] We don’t have to be trapped by our old patterns. [4] Today, we have a choice.

[1] The Tenth Step can help us correct our living problems and prevent their recurrence. [2] We examine our actions during the day. [3] Some of us write about our feelings, explaining how we felt and what part we might have played in any problems which occurred. [4] Did we cause someone harm? [5] Do we need to admit that we were wrong? [6] If we find difficulties, we make an effort to take care of them. [7] When these things are left undone, they have a way of festering.

[1] It's a vaccination This step can be a defense against the old insanity on a continuing basis. [2] You We can ask yourself ourselves as you go through the day, "Am I being drawn in by some old pattern of fear or resentment?" if we are being drawn into old patterns of anger, resentment or fear. [3] Do we feel trapped? [4] Are we setting ourselves up for trouble? [5] "Am I too tired?", "Am I too hungry?", Are we too hungry, angry, lonely or tired? [6] Are we taking ourselves too seriously? [7] Are we judging our insides by the outside appearances of others? [8] Do we suffer from some physical problem? [9] The answers to these questions can help us deal with the difficulties of the moment. [10] We no longer have to live with the feeling that we have a "hole in the gut." [11] A lot of our chief concerns and major difficulties come from our inexperience with living without drugs. [12] Often when we ask an oldtimer what to do, we are amazed at the simplicity of the answer. [1]; [2]; [3]; [5] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Step Ten.

[1] The Tenth Step can be a pressure relief valve. [2] Step Ten is worked We work this step while the day’s ups and downs are still fresh in our heads minds. [3] We list wrongs what we have done We do not and try not to rationalize our actions. [4] This may be done in writing at the end of the day. [5] The first thing we do is stop! [6] Then we take the time to allow ourselves the privilege of thinking. [7] We examine our actions, reactions, and motives. [8] We often find that we’ve been doing better that we’ve been feeling. [9] This allows us to examine our actions and admit fault, before things get any worse. [10] We need to avoid rationalizing. [11] We promptly admit our faults, not explain them. [2]; [3] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Step Ten.

[1] We work this step continuously. [2] This is a preventative action. [3] The more we work this step the less we will need the corrective part of this step. [4] This step is a great tool for avoiding grief before we bring it on ourselves. [5] We monitor our feelings, emotions, fantasies and actions. [6] By constantly looking at ourselves, we are able to avoid repeating the actions that make us feel bad.

[1] We need this step even when we’re feeling good and when things are going well. [2] Good feelings are new to us, and we need to nurture them. [3] In times of trouble, we can try the things that worked during the good times. [4] We have the right to feel good. [5] We have a choice. [6] The good times can also be a trap; the danger is that we may forget that our first priority is to stay clean. [7] For us, recovery is more than just pleasure.

[1] We need to remember that everyone makes mistakes. [2] We will never be perfect. [3] However, we can accept ourselves by using Step Ten. [4] By continuing a personal inventory, we are set free, in the here and now, from ourselves and the past. [5] We no longer justify our existence. [6] This step allows us to be ourselves.

"We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

[1] The first ten steps have set the stage for us to improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding. [2] They give us the foundation to achieve our long-sought, positive goals. [3] Having entered this phase of our spiritual program through practicing the previous ten steps, most of us welcome the exercise of prayer and meditation. [4] Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth.

[1] Many of us really begin to appreciate our recovery when we get to the Eleventh Step. [2] In the Eleventh Step, our lives take on a deeper meaning. [3] By surrendering control, we gain a far greater power.

[1] The nature of our belief will determine the manner of our prayers and meditations. [2] We need only make sure that we have a system of belief that works for us. [3] Results count in recovery. [4] As has been noted elsewhere, our prayers seemed to work as soon as we entered the Program of Narcotics Anonymous and we surrendered to our disease. [5] The conscious contact described in this step is the direct result of living the steps. [6] We use this step to improve and maintain our spiritual condition.

[1] When we first came into the program, we received help from a Power greater than ourselves. [2] This was set in motion by our surrender to the program. [3] The purpose of the Eleventh Step is to increase our awareness of that Power and to improve our ability to use it as a source of strength in our new lives.

[1] The more we improve our conscious contact with our God through prayer and meditation, the easier it is to say, "Your will, not mine, be done." [2] We can ask for God’s help when we need it, and our lives get better. [3] The experiences that some people talk about regarding meditation and individual religious beliefs don’t always apply to us. [4] Ours is a spiritual, not a religious program. [5] By the time we get to the Eleventh Step, character defects that caused problems in the past have been addressed by working the preceding ten steps. [6] The image of the kind of person that we would like to be is a fleeting glimpse of God’s will for us. [7] Often our outlook is so limited that we can only see our immediate wants and needs.

[1] It is easy to slip back into our old ways. [2] We have to learn to maintain our new lives on a spiritually sound basis to insure To ensure our continued growth and recovery, we have to learn to maintain our lives on a spiritually sound basis. [3] God will not force his His goodness on us, but we will receive it if we ask. [4] We usually feel something is different in the moment, but don’t see the change in our lives till later. [5] When we finally get our own selfish motives our of the way we begin to find a peace that we never imagined possible. [6] Enforced morality lacks the force power that comes from our own choice to us when we choose to live a spiritual life. [7] Most of us pray when we are hurting. [8] We learn that is we pray regularly we won’t be hurting as often, or as intensely. [1]; [4] Paragraph twenty-one, greybook, Step Ten. [3] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Step Ten.

[1] Outside of Narcotics Anonymous, there are any number of different groups practicing meditation. [2] Nearly all of these groups are connected with a particular religion or philosophy. [3] An endorsement of any one of these methods would be a violation of our traditions and a restriction on the individual’s right to have a God of his understanding. [4] Meditation allows us to develop spiritually in our own way. [5] Some of the things that didn’t work for us in the past, might work today. [6] We take a fresh look at each day with an open mind. [7] We know that if we pray for God’s will, we will receive what is best for us, regardless of what we think. [8] This knowledge is based on our belief and experience as recovering addicts.

[1] Prayer is communicating our concerns to a Power greater than ourselves. [2] Sometimes when we pray, a remarkable thing happens; we find the means, the ways and energies to perform tasks far beyond our capabilities capacities. [3] We grasp the limitless strength provided for us through our daily prayer and surrender, as long as we keep faith and renew it. [4] For some, prayer is asking for God’s help; meditation is listening for God’s answer. [5] We learn to be careful of praying for specific things. [6] We pray that God will show us His will, and that He will help us carry that out. [7] In some cases, he makes His will so obvious to us that we have little difficulty seeing it. [8] In others, our egos are so self-centered that we won’t accept God’s will for us without another struggle and surrender. [9] If we pray for God to remove any distracting influences, the quality of our prayers usually improve and we feel the difference. [10] Prayer takes practice, and we should remind ourselves that skilled people were not born with their skills. [11] It took lots of effort on their part to develop them. [12] Through prayer, we seek conscious contact with our God. [13] In meditation, we achieve this contact, and the Eleventh Step helps us to maintain it. [2] Paragraph twenty, greybook, Step Ten.

[1] We may have been exposed to many religions and meditative disciplines before coming to Narcotics Anonymous. [2] Some of us were devastated and completely confuse by these practices. [3] We were sure that it was God’s will for us to use drugs to reach higher consciousness. [4] Many of us found ourselves in very strange states as a result of these practices. [5] We never suspected the damaging effects of our addiction as the root of our difficulty and pursued to the end whatever path offered hope.

[1] In quiet moments of meditation, God’s will can become evident to us. [2] Quieting the mind through meditation brings an inner peace that brings us into contact with the God within us. [3] A basic premise of meditation is that it is difficult, if not impossible, to obtain conscious contact unless our mind is still. [4] The usual, never-ending succession of thoughts has to cease for progress to be made. [5] So our preliminary practice is aimed at stilling the mind, and letting the thoughts that arise die a natural death. [6] We leave our thoughts behind as the meditation part of the Eleventh Step becomes a reality for us.

[1] Emotional balance is one of the first results of meditation, and our experience bears this our. [2] Some of us came into the program broken, and hung around for awhile, only to find God or salvation in one kind of religious cult or another. [3] It is easy to float back out the door on a cloud of religious zeal and forget that we are addicts with an incurable disease.

[1] It is said that for meditation to be of value, the results must show in our daily lives. [2] This fact is implicit in the Eleventh Step: ". . . His will for us and the power to carry it out." [3] For those of us who do not pray, meditation is our only way of working this step.

[1] We find ourselves praying, because it brings us peace and restores our confidence and courage. [2] It helps us to live a life that is free of fear and distrust. [3] When we remove our selfish motives and pray for guidance, we find feelings of peace and serenity. [4] We begin to experience an awareness and an empathy with other people that was not possible before working this step.

[1] As we seek our personal contact with God, we begin to open up as a flower in the sun. [2] We begin to see that God’s love has been present all the time, just waiting for us to accept it. [3] We do the footwork and accept what’s being given to us freely on a daily basis. [4] We find relying on God becomes more comfortable for us.

[1] When we first come to the program, we usually ask for a lot of things that seem to be important wants and needs. [2] As we grow spiritually and find a Power greater than ourselves, we begin to realize that as long as our spiritual needs are net, our living problems are reduced to a point of comfort. [3] When we forget where our real strength to carry that out. [4] We are able to set aside some of our personal preference, because we learn that God’s will for us consists of the very things we most value. [5] God’s will for us becomes our own true will for ourselves. [6] This happens in an intuitive manner that cannot be adequately explained in words.

[1] We become willing to let other people be who they are without having to pass judgment on them. [2] The urgency to take care of things isn’t there anymore. [3] We couldn’t comprehend acceptance in the beginning; today we can.

[1] We know that whatever the day brings, God has given us everything we need for our spiritual well-being. [2] It us all right for us to admit powerlessness, because God is powerful enough to help us stay clean and to enjoy spiritual progress. [3] God is helping us to get our house in order.

[1] We begin to see more clearly what is real. [2] Through constant contact with our Higher Power, the answers that we seek come to us. [3] We gain the ability to do what we once could not. [4] We respect the beliefs of others. [5] We encourage you to seek strength and guidance according to your belief.

[1] We are thankful for this step, because we begin to get what is best for us. [2] Sometimes we prayed for our wants and got trapped once we got them. [3] We could pray and get something, then have to pray for its removal, because we couldn’t handle it.

[1] Hopefully, having learned the power of prayer and the responsibility prayer brings with is, we can use the Eleventh Step as a guideline for our daily program.

[1] We begin to pray only for God’s will for us. [2] This way we are only getting what we are capable of handling. [3] We are able to respond to it and handle it, because God helps us prepare for it. [4] Some of us simply use our words to give thanks for God’s grace.

[1] In an attitude of surrender and humility, we approach this step again and again to receive the gift of knowledge and strength from the God of our understanding. [2] The Tenth Step clears away the errors of the present so we may work the Eleventh Step. [3] Without this step, it is unlikely that we could experience a spiritual awakening, practice spiritual principles in our lives or carry a sufficient message to attract others to recovery. [4] There is a spiritual principle of giving away what we have been give in Narcotics Anonymous in order to keep it. [5] By helping others to stay clean, we enjoy the benefit of the spiritual wealth that we have found. [6] We must give freely and gratefully that which has be freely and gratefully given to us.

[1] We came to Narcotics Anonymous as the result of the wreckage of our past. [2] The last thing we expected was an awakening of the spirit. [3] We just wanted to stop hurting.

[1] The steps lead to an awakening of a spiritual nature. [2] This awakening is evidenced by changes in our lives. [3] These changes make us better able to live by spiritual principles and to carry the message of recovery and hope to the addict who still suffers. [4] The message, however, is meaningless unless we live it. [5] If we do As we live it, we our lives and actions give it more meaning with our lives than any our words can express and literature ever could. [4]; [5] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] The idea of a spiritual awakening takes many different forms in the different personalities that we find in the Fellowship. [2] This awakening does However, all spiritual awakenings have some things in common throughout the Fellowship. [3] Common elements include an end to loneliness and a sense of direction in our lives. [4] Many of us believe that a spiritual awakening is meaningless unless accompanied by an increase in peace of mind, we strive to live in the here and now. [1]; [2] Paragraph one, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] Those of us who have worked these steps to the best of our ability received many benefits. [2] We believe that these benefits are a direct result of living this program.

[1] When we first begin to enjoy relief from our addiction, we run the risk of assuming control of our lives again. [2] We forget the agony and pain that we have known. [3] Our disease controlled our lives when we were using. [4] It is ready and waiting to take over again. [5] We quickly forget that all our past efforts at controlling our lives failed.

[1] Usually, by the By this time we achieve this state of mind, no one has to tell us to share our new most of us realize that the only way that we can keep what was given to us is by sharing this new gift of life with the still-suffering addict. [2] we are more than eager to help that person because by this time we recognize that by helping others giving away that which has been given to us This is our best possible insurance against relapse to the vague, torturous existence of a practicing addict using. [3] We call it "carrying the message" carrying the message, and we do it in a number of ways. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph two, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] In the Twelfth Step, we practice the spiritual principles of giving the N.A. message of recovery in order to keep it. [2] Even a member with one day in the N.A. Fellowship can carry the message that this program works.

[1] When we share with someone new, we may say, "Lord make me an instrument of Thy Will." ask to be used as a spiritual instrument of our Higher Power. [2] We don’t set ourselves up as God gods. [3] It is just a matter of getting We often ask for the help of another N.A. member to go with us on the Twelve Step call to carry the message to a suffering addict recovering addict when sharing with a new person. [4] It's It is a privilege and an honor to go on such a call respond to a cry for help. [5] Those who We, who have been in the pits of despair, now strive feel fortunate to help other people to others find a new and better way to live recovery. [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] We help new people learn the principles of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] We try to make them feel welcome and help them learn what the program has to offer. [3] Next we can We share our experience, strength and hope and then . [4] Whenever possible, we accompany them to their first newcomers to a meeting. [3]; [4] Paragraph eight, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] The selfless service of this work is the very principle of Step Twelve. [2] We received our recovery from the God of our understanding. [3] We now make ourselves available as His tool to share recovery with those who seek it. [4] Most of us learn that we can only carry our message to someone who is asking for help. [5] Sometimes, the only message necessary to make the suffering addict reach out is the power of example. [6] An addict may be suffering but unwilling to ask for help. [7] We can make ourselves available to these people, so when they ask, someone will be there.

[1] Learning to help others is a benefit of the Narcotics Anonymous Program. [2] Remarkably, working the Twelve Steps guides us from humiliation and despair to acting as instruments of our Higher Power. [3] We are given the ability to help a fellow addict when no one else can. [4] We see it happening among us every day. [5] This miraculous turnabout is evidence of a spiritual awakening. [6] In N.A. meetings, we We share from our own personal experience what it was like in our practicing addiction, our suffering that brought us to the turning point and how we stay clean today. has been like for us. [7] The temptation to give advice is great, but when we do so we lose the respect of newcomers. [8] This clouds our message. [9] A simple, honest message of recovery from addiction rings true. [6] Paragraph forty-two, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] We attend N.A. meetings and make ourselves visible and available to serve the Fellowship. [2] We give freely and gratefully of our time, our services and our experiences service, and what we have found here to our fellow addicts. [3] The service we speak of in Narcotics Anonymous is the primary purpose of our groups. [4] Service work is carrying the message to the addict who still suffers. [5] We know that the The more eagerly we wade in and work, to stay clean, the higher we're going to get and the richer our spiritual awakening will be. [1]; [2]; [5] Paragraph five, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] The first way in which that we carry the message is by staying clean with the help of God and the Fellowship. Our new way of living speaks for itself better than our words ever could. [2] People see us on the street and remember us as furtive devious, frightened loners. [3] They notice the grayness and fear leaving our faces. [4] They see us gradually come alive. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph three, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] Once we find the N.A. way, boredom and complacency have no place in our new life. [2] By staying clean, we begin to practice spiritual principles such as hope, surrender, acceptance, honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, faith. tolerance, patience, humility, unconditional love, sharing and caring. [3] As our recovery progresses, spiritual principles touch every area of our lives, because we simply try to live this program in the here and now.

[1] We find joy as we start to learn how to live by the principles of recovery. [2] Even a member with one week in the N.A Fellowship can turn to a newcomer and say, "Live one Day At A Time", or "An Addict Alone Is In Bad Company." It is the joy of watching as a person two days clean says to a person with one day clean, "An addict alone is in bad company." [3] It is the joy of watching a person who was struggling to make it suddenly, in the middle of helping another addict to stay clean, become able to find the words needed to carry the message of recovery. [2] Paragraph six, greybook, Step Twelve.

[1] We feel that our lives have become worthwhile. [2] Spiritually refreshed, we are glad to be alive. [3] When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival. [4] Now we are doing much more living than surviving. [5] Realizing that the bottom line is staying clean, we can enjoy life. [6] We like being clean and enjoy carrying the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers. [7] Going to meetings really works.

[1] Practicing spiritual principles in our daily lives leads us to a new image of ourselves. [2] Honesty, humility and open-mindedness help us to treat our associates fairly. [3] Our decisions become tempered with tolerance. [4] We learn to respect ourselves.

[1] The lessons we learn in our recovery are sometimes bitter and painful. [2] By helping others we find the reward of self-respect, as we are able to share these lessons with other members of Narcotics Anonymous. [3] We cannot deny other addicts their pain, but we can carry the message of hope that was given to us by fellow addicts in recovery. [4] We share the principles of recovery, as they have worked in our lives. [5] God helps us as we help each other. [6] Life takes on a new meaning, a new joy, and a quality of being and feeling worthwhile. [7] We become spiritually refreshed and are glad to be alive. [8] One aspect of our spiritual awakening comes through the new understanding of our Higher Power that we develop by sharing another addict’s recovery.

[1] Yes, we are a vision of hope. [2] We are examples of the program working. [3] The joy that we have in living clean is an attraction to the addict who still suffers.

[1] We do recover to live clean and happy lives. [2] Welcome to N.A. [3] The steps do not end here. [4] The steps are a new beginning.

[1] Begin your own program by taking Step One from the previous chapter "How It Works", How It Works. [2] When we fully concede to our innermost selves that we are powerless over our addiction, we have taken a big step in our recovery. [3] Many of us have had some reservations at this point, so give yourself a break and be as thorough as possible from the start. [4] Go on to Step Two, and so forth, and as you go on you will come to an understanding of the program for yourself. [5] If you are in an institution of any kind , you have gone through complete withdrawal and have and have stopped using for the present Now, , you can with a clear mind try this way of life. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Five.

[1] Upon release, continue your daily program and contact a member of N.A. [2] Do this by mail, by phone, or in person. [3] Better yet, come to our meetings. [4] Here you will find answers to some of the things that may be disturbing you now. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Five.

[1] If you are not in an institution, the same holds true. [2] Stop using for today. [3] Most of us can do for eight or twelve hours what seems impossible for a longer period of time. [4] If the obsession or compulsion becomes too great, put yourself on a five minute basis of not using. [5] Minutes will grow into hours, and hours to days, so you will break the habit and gain some peace of mind. [6] The real miracle happens when you realize that the need for drug has in some way been lifted from you. [7] You have stopped using and have started to live. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Five.

[1] The first step to recovery is to stop using. [2] We cannot expect the program to work for us if our minds and bodies are still clouded by drugs. [3] We can do this anywhere, even in prison or an institution. [4] We do it anyway we can, cold turkey or in a detox, just as long as we get clean.

[1] Developing the concept of God as we understand Him is a project that we can undertake. [2] We can also use the steps to improve our attitudes. [3] Our best thinking got us into trouble. [4] We recognize the need for change. [5] Our disease involved much more than simple abstinence. [6] Recovery is an active change in our ideas and attitudes.

[1] Facing The ability to face problems is a necessary ability to stay clean. [2] If we have had problems in the past, it is unlikely that simple abstinence will eliminate the defense mechanisms and emotional walls that enabled us to live in past day solve these problems. [3] Guilt and worry can keep us from living in the here and now. [4] Denial of our disease and other reservations keep us sick. [5] We may still, however, Many of us feel that we cannot possibly have a happy life without drugs. [6] We may suffer from the fear of and insanity and feel we have that there is no escape from using other than an insane and depressed existence. [7] We may fear the rejection of all from our friends if we go cleaning up our act, this is common get clean. [8] These feelings are common to the addict seeking recovery. [9] We could be suffering from an overly sensitive ego. [10] Some of the most common excuses for using are loneliness, self-pity, and closed-mindedness fear. [11] Dishonesty, close-mindedness, and unwillingness are three of our greatest enemies. [12] Self-obsession is the core of our disease. [1]; [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Five. [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Five. [10] Paragraph thirty-eight, greybook, Chapter Five.

[1] Old We have learned that old ideas and street practices old ways won’t help us to stay clean or to live a better life. [2] "Terminal hipness" and "fatal cool" are If we allow ourselves to stagnate and cling to terminal hipness and fatal cool, we are giving into the symptoms of the addictive personality our disease. If we allow ourselves to stagnate and cling to our old ways of desperation and fear, our chances of a real and lasting recovery decrease. [3] One of the problems is that we found it easier to change our perception of reality than to change reality. [4] We must give up this old concept and face the fact that reality and life go on, whether we choose to accept them or not. [5] We can only change the way we react and the way we see ourselves. [6] This is necessary for us to accept that change is gradual and recovery is an ongoing process. [1] Paragraph twenty-one, greybook, Chapter Five. [2] Paragraphs twenty-one and thirty, greybook, Chapter Five

[1] At least one A meeting a day for at least the first ninety days seems to be a good guide for those who are going to any lengths. of recovery is a good idea. [2] There is a special calm that settles over a person with our disease feeling for addicts when they find out there are many others discover that there are other people who share their difficulties, past and present. [3] At first we can do little more that attend meetings. [4] Probably we cannot remember a single word, person or thought from our first meeting. [5] In time, we can relax and enjoy the atmosphere of recovery. [6] Meetings strengthen our recovery. [7] We may be scared at first because we don’t know anyone. [8] Some of us think that we don’t need meetings. [9] However, when we hurt, we go to a meeting and find relief. [10] Meetings keep us in touch with where we’ve been, but more importantly with where we could go in our recovery. [11] As we go to meetings regularly, we learn the value of talking with other addicts who share our problems and goals. [12] We have to open up and accept the love and understanding that we need in order to change. [13] When we become acquainted with the Fellowship and its principles and begin to put them into action, we start to grow. [14] We apply effort to our most obvious problems and let go of the rest. [15] We do the job at hand, and as we progress, new opportunities for improvement present themselves. [1]; [2] Paragraph twenty-three, greybook, Chapter Five.

[1] Our new friends in the Fellowship will help us. [2] Our common effort is recovery. [3] Clean, we face the world together. [4] We no longer have to feel backed into a corner, at the mercy of events and circumstances. [5] It makes a difference to have friends who care if we hurt. [6] We find our place in the Fellowship, and we join a group whose meetings help us in our recovery. [7] We have been untrustworthy for so long that most of our friends and families will doubt our recovery. [8] They think it won’t last. [9] We need people who understand our disease and the recovery process. [10] At meetings we can share with other addicts, ask questions and learn about our disease. [11] We learn new ways to live. [12] We are no longer limited to our old ideas.

[1] Gradually, we replace old habits with a new way of living. [2] We become willing to change. [3] Get We go to meetings regularly, get phone numbers and use them telephone numbers, read literature, and most importantly, we don’t use. [4] We learn to share with others. [5] If we don’t tell someone we are hurting, they will seldom see it. [6] When we reach out for help we can receive it. [3] Paragraph twenty-eight, greybook, Chapter Two.

[1] Another tool for the newcomer is involvement with the Fellowship. [2] As we become involved we learn to keep the program first and take it easy in other matters. [3] We begin by asking for help and trying out the recommendations of people at the meetings. [4] It is beneficial to allow others in the group to help us. [5] In time, we will be able to pass on what we have been given. [6] We learn that service to others will get us out of ourselves. [7] Our work can begin simple actions: emptying ashtrays, making coffee, cleaning up, setting up for a meeting, opening the door, chairing a meeting and passing out literature. [8] Doing these things helps us feel a part of the Fellowship.

[1] We have found it helpful to have a sponsor and to use this sponsor. [2] Sponsorship is a two-way street. [3] It helps both the newcomer and the sponsor. [4] The sponsor’s clean time and experience may well depend on the availability of sponsors in a locality. [5] Sponsorship for newcomers is also the responsibility of the group. [6] It is implied and informal in its approach, but it is the heart of the N.A. way of recovery from addiction -- one addict helping another.

[1] One of the most profound changes in our lives is in the realm of personal relationships. [2] Our earliest involvements with others often begin with our sponsor. [3] As newcomers we find it easier if we have someone whose judgment we trust and in whom we can confide. [4] We find that trusting others with more experience is a strength rather than a weakness. [5] Our experience reveals that working the steps is our best guarantee against relapse. [6] Our sponsors and friends can advise us on how to work the steps. [7] Asking God as we understand Him for help improves our understanding of the steps. [8] When we are prepared, we must try out our newly found way of life. [9] The We learn that the program doesn't won’t work when we try to adapt it to our life. [10] , we have We must learn to adapt our life to the program. [9]; [10] Paragraph thirteen, greybook, Chapter Five.

[1] Today, we seek solutions, not problems. [2] We try what we have learned on an experimental basis. [3] We keep what we need and leave the rest. [4] We find that be working the steps, communicating with our Higher Power, talking to our sponsors, and sharing with newcomers, we are able to grow spiritually.

[1] The Twelve Steps are used as a program of recovery. [2] We learn that we can go to our Higher Power for help in solving problems. [3] When we find ourselves sharing the difficulties that used to have us on the run, we experience good feelings that give us the strength to begin seeking God’s will for us.

[1] We believe that our Higher Power will take care of us. [2] If we honestly try to do God’s will, to the best of our ability, we can handle anything that happens. [3] Seeking our Higher Power’s will is a spiritual principle found in the steps. [4] Working the steps and practicing the principles simplifies our lives and changes our old attitudes. [5] When we admit that our lives have become unmanageable, we don’t have to argue our point of view. [6] We have to accept ourselves as we are. [7] We no longer have to be right all the time. [8] When we give ourselves this freedom, we can allow others to be wrong. [9] Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves.

[1] As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those that would tear us apart, all will be well. [1] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Six.

[1] For most of us, understanding of Understanding these Traditions comes slowly over a period of time. [2] We pick up a little information here and there as we talk to members and visit various groups. [3] It usually isn’t until we get involved with service that someone points out that "personal recovery depends on N.A. unity," and that unity depends on how well we follow our traditions Traditions. [4] The Twelve Traditions of N.A. are not suggested, and they are not negotiable. [5] These They are the rules guidelines that keep our fellowship Fellowship alive and free. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Six.

[1] By following these principles guidelines in our dealings with others in N.A. , and society at large, we avoid many problems. [2] That isn't is not to say that our Traditions eliminate all problems. [3] We still have to face difficulties as they arise: communication problems, differences of opinion, internal controversies, problems and troubles with individuals and groups outside the fellowship Fellowship. [4] However, when we apply these principles, we avoid some of the pitfalls. [All] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Six.

[1] Many of our problems are much like those that our predecessors had to face. [2] Their hard won experience gave birth to the Traditions, and our own experiences have experience has shown that these principles are just as valid today as they were yesterday when these Traditions were formulated. [3] Our Traditions are what protect us from the internal and external forces which that could destroy us. [4] They are truly the ties that bind us together, but they don't work automatically. [5] It is only through understanding and application that they have power work. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Six.

[1] It makes sense that our Our First Tradition concerns unity and our common welfare. [2] One of the most important parts of things about our new way of life is being a part of a group of addicts also seeking recovery. [3] Our survival is directly related to the survival of our groups the group and of our fellowship the Fellowship. [4] To maintain unity within Narcotics Anonymous, it is imperative that the group remain stable, or the entire Fellowship perishes and the individual dies. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition One.

[1] These efforts were unsuccessful for us; it It wasn’t until we came to Narcotics Anonymous that recovery seemed became possible. [2] This program can do for us what we could not do for ourselves. [3] We became part of a group and found that we could make it, too recover. [4] We also learned that those who did not continue being to be an active part of the Fellowship faced a rough road and often relapsed. [5] The individual is precious to the group, and the group is precious to the individual. [6] Most of us had We never experienced the kind of attention and personal care that we found in the program. [7] We are accepted and loved for what who we are, instead of "in-spite"of what not in spite of who we are. [8] No one can revoke our membership or punish us, or make us do anything that we don't do not choose to do. [9] We are taught follow this way of life by example rather than direction. [10] We share our experiences experience and learn from each other. [11] In our addiction, we consistently placed our personal welfare desires before anything else. [12] Here In Narcotics Anonymous we found find that in the long run what's what is best for the group was is usually good for us. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition One. [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition One.

[1] Our personal experiences while using differed from member to member one another. [2] However, as As a group, however, we have found many common themes in our addiction. [3] One of these shared symptoms was our the need to prove self-sufficiency. [4] We had convinced ourselves that we could make it alone and proceeded to live life on that basis. [5] The results were disastrous and, in the end, each of us had to admit that our self-sufficiency was a lie. [6] This surrender This admission was the starting point of our recovery and is a primary point of unity for the Fellowship. [7] Not only are these We had common themes in our addiction, but and we find that in our recovery we also have much in common. [8] We share a common desire to stay clean. [9] Each of us has We have learned to depend upon on a Power greater than ourselves, which is our source of strength. [10] Our purpose is to carry the message to the addict who still suffers. [11] We have our Our Traditions are the rules guidelines that protect us from ourselves. [12] We share many things, and each is a point of They are our unity for us. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph five, greybook, Tradition One. [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12] Paragraph six, greybook, Tradition One.

[1] Unity is a reality must in Narcotics Anonymous. [2] This isn't is not to say that we do not have our disagreements and conflicts; we do. [3] Whenever people get together there are differences of opinions and impressions. [4] However, we can disagrree without being disagreeable. [5] Time and time again, we've seen this; in times of crisis or trouble in crises we have set aside our differences and worked for the common good. [6] How often have we We have seen two members, who usually don't do not get along, very well working work together with the newcomers a newcomer. [7] How often have we We have seen a group doing menial tasks to pay rent for their meeting hall. [8] How often have we We have seen members drive hundreds of miles to help support a new group. [9] These activities and many others are commonplace in our fellowship Fellowship. [10] They must be, because without Without these things actions N.A. could not have survived survive. [11] We must live and work together as a group to ensure that in a storm our ship does not sink and our members do not perish. [12] With faith in a Power greater than ourselves, hard work, and unity we will survive and continue to carry the message to the addict who still suffers. [1]; [2]; [3]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9] Paragraph seven, greybook, Tradition One. [10] Paragraph eight, greybook, Tradition One.

[1] In N.A. Narcotics Anonymous, we have a great concern in are concerned with protecting ourselves from ourselves. [2] Our Second Tradition is an another example of this. [3] By nature, we seem to be are strong-willed, self-centered people, seeking self-gratification in the realms of money, power, and sex who are thrust together in N.A. [4] Now we find ourselves thrust together in N.A., We are mismanagers all, and not one of us is capable of making consistently consistently making good decisions. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Two.

[1] They go on to explain that in N.A. In Narcotics Anonymous, we rely on a loving God as He expresses Himself in our Group group conscience, rather than on personal opinion or ego. [2] In By working the Steps steps, we need to come learn to depend on a Power greater than ourselves, We continue this relationship and utilize it and to use this Power for our Group group purposes. [3] We must be constantly on guard that our decisions are truly an expression of God’s will. [4] There is often a vast difference between Group group conscience and Group group opinion as dictated by powerful personalities or popularity. [5] Some of our most painful growing pains experiences have come as a result of decisions made in the name of "group conscience" group conscience. [6] True spiritual principles are never in conflict; they always compliment each other. [7] The true The spiritual conscience of a group will never contradict any of our other spiritual principles Traditions. [1]; [2] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Two. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Two. Paragraph five, greybook, Tradition Two.

[1] The Second Tradition also concerns the nature of leadership in N.A. [2] We have learned that for our Fellowship, leadership by example and by selfless service works. [3] , and that direction Direction and manipulation fails fail. [4] We choose not to have presidents, masters, chairmen or directors. [5] Instead we have secretaries, treasurers and representatives. [6] These titles in themselves imply service rather than control. [7] Our experience shows that if a group becomes an extention of the personality of a leader or a certain member, then it loses its effectiveness. [8] An atmosphere of recovery in our groups is one of our most precious valued assets, and we must guard it carefully, lest we lose it to politics and personalities. [All] Paragraph six, greybook, Tradition Two.

[1] Those of us who have been involved in service for a long time or in getting a group started and keeping the doors open through the hard early days sometimes have a hard time letting go of the reins. [2] Sometimes our egos Egos, get in the way, sometimes ungrounded fears get in the way, and sometimes the unfounded pride, and self-will destroy a group gets in the way if given authority. [3] We must remember that offices have been placed in trust, that we are trusted servants, and that at no time do any of us govern. [4] Narcotics Anonymous is a God-given program, and we can maintain our group in dignity only with group conscience and God’s love. [1]; [2] Paragraph seven, greybook, Tradition Two.

[1] Some will resist. [2] However, many will become the role models for the newcomers. [3] The self-seekers soon find that they are on the outside, causing dissension and eventually disaster for themselves. [4] Many of them change; they learn that we can only be governed by a loving God as expressed in our group conscience.

[1] This Tradition tradition is very important for both the individual and the group. [2] Desire is the key word in this Tradition and: desire is the basis of our recovery. [3] In our story stories and in our experience of trying to carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers, one painful fact of life has emerged again and again. [4] An addict who does not want to stop using will not stop using. [5] They can be analyzed, counseled, reasoned with, prayed over, threatened, beaten, or locked up, or whatever; but they won't will not stop using until they want to stop. [6] The only thing we ask of our members is that they have this desire. [7] Without it they are doomed, but with it miracles have happened will happen. [8] This Desire is our only requirement, and rightfully so. [9] Addiction does not discriminate, why should recovery?. [10] This tradition is to ensure that any addict, regardless of drugs used, race, religious beliefs, sex, sexual preference, or financial condition is free to practice the N.A. way of life. [11] With ". . . a desire to stop using: as the only requirement for membership, one addict is never superior to another. [12] All addicted persons are welcome and equal in obtaining the relief that they are seeking from their addiction; every addict can recover in this program on an equal basis. [13] This tradition guarantees our freedom to recover. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Three. [8]; [9] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Three.

[1] Membership in N.A. Narcotics Anonymous isn't is not automatic when someone walks in the door ; it isn't even automatic or when the newcomer has a desire decides to stop using. [2] The decision to become a part of our fellowship Fellowship rests with the individual. [3] Any addict who has a desire to stop using can become a member of N.A. [4] We are Narcotics Anonymous addicts, and our problem is addiction, other fellowships deal with other problems. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Three. [4] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Three.

[1] The choice of membership rests with the individual. [2] We feel that the ideal state for our fellowship Fellowship exists when an addict addicts can openly and freely come come freely and openly to an N.A. meeting, wherever and whenever whenever and wherever they choose, and leave just as freely if they want to. [3] However, we have learned We realize that recovery is a reality and that life without drugs is better than we ever imagined. [4] We open our doors to other addicts, hoping that they can find what we have found. [5] ; but knowing But we know that only those who have a desire to stop using and want what we have to offer will join us in our way of life. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Tradition Three.

[1] The autonomy of our groups is one of our most precious possessions necessary for our survival. [2] Webster's A dictionary defines autonomous as "having the right or power of self-government . . . undertaken or carried on without outside control "existing or capable of existing independently", "responding, reacting or developing independently of the whole." [3] Our This means our groups are self-governing, and not subject to outside control. [4] Each Every group has had to grow on its own and stand and grow on its own two feet. [1] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Four. [2] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Four. [3]; [4] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Four.

[1] One might ask, "Is this really true, are Are we truly autonomous? [2] , what about our Don’t we have service committees, our offices, our activities, our hot lines, and all the other things that go on activities in N.A.?" [3] They are the services we can utilize use to help up in our recovery and to further the primary purpose of our groups. [4] Narcotics Anonymous is a Fellowship of men and women, addicts meeting together in groups and using a given set of spiritual principles to find freedom from addiction and a new way to live. [5] Those other things The services that we mentioned are the result of members caring who care enough to reach out and offer their help and experience so that our road might be easier. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Four.

[1] In this starter kit it says that we must abide by the A Narcotics Anonymous group is any group that meets regularly, at a specified place and time, for the purpose of recovery, provided that it follows the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions in order to call ourselves of Narcotics Anonymous. [2] There are two basic types of meetings: those open to the general public and those closed to the public (for addicts only). [3] Meeting formats vary widely from group to group; some are participation meetings, some speakers, some are question and answer, and some focus on special problems discussion. [1] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Four.

[1] Whatever the type or format a group uses for its meetings, the function of a group is always the same; to provide a suitable and reliable environment for personal recovery and to promote such recovery. [2] This is also true, but these These Traditions are part of the a set of spiritual principles that are N.A of Narcotics Anonymous, Without the Traditions, and without them N.A. does not exist. [All] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Four.

[1] It Autonomy gives our groups the freedom to act on their own to establish their an atmosphere of recovery, to serve their members and to fulfill their primary purpose. [2] It is for this reason these reasons that we guard our autonomy so carefully. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Tradition Four.

[1] We are autonomous; and from what we have said it It would seem that we, in our groups, can do whatever we decide to do, regardless of what anybody anyone says. [2] This is partly true. [3] Each group does have complete freedom, except when their actions become a threat to affect other groups and the rest of or N.A. as a whole. [4] Like group conscience, autonomy can be a two-edged sword. [5] In the past group Group autonomy has been used to justify the violation of other the Traditions. [6] If a conflict or contradiction does exist that means that somewhere along the line exists, we have somehow slipped away from the true our principles. [7] If we check to make sure that our actions are clearly within the bounds of our Traditions traditions; if we don't represent anyone but ourselves, if we don't do not dictate to other groups, or force anything upon them; and if we take the time to consider the consequences of our action ahead of time, then all will be well. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph six, greybook, Tradition Four. [7] Paragraph seven, greybook, Tradition Four.

[1] "You mean to say that our primary purpose is to carry the message? [2] I thought we were here to clean up? get clean. [3] I thought that our primary purpose was to recover from drug addiction?." [4] For the individual, this is certainly true; our members are here to find freedom from addiction and a new way of life. [5] However, groups aren’t addicted and don’t recover. [6] All our groups can do is plant the seed for recovery and bring addicts together so that the magic of empathy, honesty, caring, sharing, and service can do its thing their work. [7] The purpose of this Tradition tradition is to insure ensure that this atmosphere of recovery is maintained. [8] This can only be achieved by keeping our groups newcomer and service recovery-oriented. [9] The fact that we require, each and every group, to focus on carrying the message provides consistency; An addict addicts can count on us if they want help. [10] Unity of action and unity of purpose make makes possible what seemed impossible for us -- recovery. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Five. [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Five.

[1] The Twelfth Step of our personal program also says that we should carry the message to the addict who still suffers. [2] Working with others is one of our most a powerful tools tool. [3] The therapeutic value of one addict helping another is unparalleled without parallel." [4] For the newcomer newcomers, this is how they find out about N.A. and.how they found Narcotics Anonymous and learned to stay clean. [5] ; and for For the members, this reaffirms and clarifies what they have learned their commitment to recovery. [6] The group is the most powerful vehicle we have for carrying the message to the addict who still suffers. [7] When a member carries the message, he is somewhat bound by interpretation and personality. [8] The problem with literature is language. [9] ; the The feelings, the intensity, and the strengths are sometimes lost. [10] In our group, with all many different personalities, the message of recovery is a recurring theme; an underlying reality. [1] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Five. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Five.

[1] What would happen if our groups had other another primary purposes purpose? [2] We feel our message would be diluted and then lost. [3] If we concentrated on making money, many might get rich. [4] If we were a social club, we'd we could find many friends and lovers. [5] If we specialized in education, we’d end up with many smart addicts. [6] If our specialty was medical help, many would get healthy. [7] If our group purpose were anything other than to carry the message, many would die and a few would find recovery. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Tradition Five.

[1] What is our message? [2] In our groups we share our experience, strength and hope and this is our The message is that an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use again, and find a new way to live. [3] Their Our message is hope and the promise of freedom. [4] When it's all is said and done, our primary group purpose can only be to carry the message to the addict who still suffers because this that is all we have to give. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Tradition Five.

[1] Our Fifth Tradition defines our primary purpose and our Sixth Tradition tells us some of the things that we must do to preserve and protect this spiritual aim our primary purpose. [2] This Tradition tradition is the basis for our policy of non-affiliation and is extremely important to the continuation and growth of N.A. Narcotics Anonymous. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Six.

[1] Let’s take a look at what this Tradition tradition really says. [2] The first thing a group ought never do is endorse. [3] To endorse is to sanction, approve or recommend. [4] Endorsements can be either direct of implied. [5] We see direct endorsements every day in T.V. television commercials. [6] An implied endorsement is one that is not specifically stated. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Six.

[1] Many other organizations wish to ride on the N.A. name. [2] To allow them to do so would be an implied endorsement and a violation of this tradition. [3] Hospitals, drug recovery houses, probation and parole offices are some of the facilities that we deal with in carrying the N.A. message. [4] While these organizations are sincere and we hold N.A. meetings in their establishments, we cannot endorse, finance or allow them to use the N.A. name to further their growth. [5] However, we are willing to carry the N.A. principles into these institutions, to the addicts who still suffer so that they can make the choice.

[1] The next thing we ought never do is finance. [2] This is more obvious. [3] ; to To finance means to supply funds or to help support financially. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Six.

[1] The third thing warned against in this tradition is lending the N.A. name to fulfill the purposes of other programs. [2] For example, several times other programs have tried to use Narcotics Anonymous as part of their "services offered" services offered, to help justify a funding proposal. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Six.

[1] A Further the tradition tells us that a related facility is any other facility or place that involves involving N.A. members. [2] It might be a halfway house, a detox center, a counseling center, or a clubhouse, or anyone of a number of such places. [3] Often times, people People are easily confused by what is N.A. and what are the related facilities. [4] Recovery houses which that have been started or staffed by N.A. members have to take special care that the differentiation is clear. [5] Perhaps the most confusion exists when it involves a clubhouse situation. [6] Newcomers and even older members often identify the clubhouse with N.A. and N.A. with the clubhouse Narcotics Anonymous. [7] We should make a special effort to let these people know that there is a difference these facilities and N.A. are not the same. [8] An outside enterprise is any agency, any business venture, any religion, any society, any organization, any unrelated related activity, or any other fellowship. [9] Most of these are pretty straight forward easy to identify, except for the other fellowships. [10] Narcotics Anonymous is a separate and distinct fellowship in its own right. [11] Our problem is addiction. [12] , the The other twelve-step fellowships Twelve Step Fellowships specialize in other problems and our relationship with them is one of "cooperation not affiliation" cooperation, not affiliation. [13] The use of literature of another fellowship, speakers, and announcements from other fellowships in our meetings constitutes an implied endorsement of an outside enterprise. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Six.

[1] The Sixth Tradition goes on to warn us what may happen if we do what we ought never do: "lest problems of money, property or prestige divert us from our primary purpose." [2] They These problems often become obsessions and shut us off from our spiritual aim. [3] For the individual, this type of abuse can be devastating; for the group, even the slightest touch it can be disastrous. [4] When we, as a group, waiver from our primary purpose, addicts die who might have found recovery die. [1]; [2] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Six. [3]; [4] Paragraph five, greybook, Tradition Six.

[1] Being self-supporting is an important part of our new way of life. [2] For the individual, this is usually quite a change. [3] In our addiction, we were dependent on people, places, and things. [4] We looked to them to support us and to supply the things that we found lacking in ourselves. [5] As recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the inner strength we get in our relationship with Him. [6] We, who were unable to function as human beings, now find that anything is possible for of us. [7] Those dreams that we gave up long ago can now become realities with God's help. [8] Addicts as a group have been and still are, millstones around society's neck a burden to society. [9] In N.A., our groups of addicts not only try to stand on their own two feet, but demand the right to do so. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Seven.

[1] Money as always been a problem for us. [2] We could never find enough to support ourselves and our habits and our self-gratification. [3] We worked, stole, conned, begged and sold ourselves; there was never enough money to fill the emptiness inside. [4] In our recovery, money is often still a problem; we stopped trying to support our habits; we got to work and often find unexpected success. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Seven.

[1] N.A. needs We need money to run the our group; there is rent to pay, supplies to buy and literature to pay for buy. [2] We pass the hat take a collection in our meetings to cover these expenses and whatever is left over goes to support our services and to further our primary purpose. [3] Unfortunately, there's usually pitifully little there is little left over after once a group pays its way. [4] Sometimes members who can afford it kick in give a little extra to help. [5] Sometimes a few get together and committee is formed to put on some an activity to help raise funds. [6] These efforts help a lot and without them, much that we have been given to do would have had to be left undone we could not have come this far. [7] N.A. remains a shoe-string operation N.A. services remain in need of money, and even though it's sometimes frustrating it is frustration, we really wouldn't would not have it any other way; we know the price would be too high to bear. [8] We all have to pull together, and in pulling together we learn that we really are a part of something greater than ourselves. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Seven. [7] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradidtion Seven.

[1] Our policy concerning money is clearly stated: We decline any outside contributions; our Fellowship is completely self-supporting. [2] We accept no funding, endowments, loans, no and/or gifts, and no handouts because we know that there's no such thing as a free ride. [3] Everything has its price, regardless of intent. [4] Whether the price is money, promises, concessions, special recognition, endorsements, or favors or anything else; , it’s just too high for us. [5] Even if those who would help us could guarantee no strings, we still would not accept their aid. [6] We cannot even afford to let our members contribute more than their fair share. [7] Because for us We have found that the price is paid within by our groups is disunity and controversy insanity and death. [8] We will not put our freedom on the line again; not for "an easier, softer way", not for anything; never again!. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph five, greybook, Tradition Seven. [6]; [7]; [8] Paragraph six, greybook, Tradition Seven.

[1] The Eighth Tradition is vital to the stability of N.A. as a whole. [2] In order to understand this tradition we need to define "nonprofessional service centers" and "special workers". [3] With an understanding of these terms, this important tradition is self-explanatory.

[1] In this tradition we say that we have no professionals. [2] By this, we mean we have no staff psychiatrists, doctors, lawyers, or counselors. [3] Our program works by one addict helping another. [4] If we employed professionals in N.A. groups, we would destroy our unity. [5] We are simply addicts of equal status freely helping one another.

[1] We recognize and admire the professionals. [2] Many of our members in the endeavors outside the Fellowship have become are professionals in their own right, but It's just that there's there is no room for professionalism in N.A. ; for our purpose we have learned the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is truly without parallel. [2] Paragraph eight, greybook, Tradition Eight.

[1] A service center is defined as a place where N.A. service committees operate. [2] The World Service Office or local, regional, and area offices are examples of service centers. [3] A clubhouse or halfway house, or similar facility, is not an N.A. service center and is not affiliated with N.A. [4] A service center is, very simply, a place where N.A. services are offered on a continuing basis.

[1] The tradition states, "Service centers may employ special workers." [2] This statement means that service centers may employ workers for special skills such as phone answering, clerical work, or printing. [3] Such employees are directly responsible to a service committee. [4] As N.A. grows, the demand for these workers will grow. [5] Special workers are necessary to ensure efficiency in an ever-expanding fellowship.

[1] The difference between professionals and special workers should be defined for clarity. [2] Professionals work in specific professions that do not directly service N.A., but are for personal gain. [3] Professionals do not follow the N.A. Traditions. [4] Our special workers, on the other hand, work within our Traditions and are always directly responsible to those they serve, to the Fellowship.

[1] In our Eighth Tradition, we do not single out our members as professionals. [2] By not placing professional status on any member, we ensure that we remain "forever nonprofessional."

[1] This Tradition tradition defines the way we run that our Fellowship functions. [2] Our members are We must first understand what N.A. is, Narcotics Anonymous is addicts who have the desire to stop using, who want what we have to offer, and who have chosen to join us and have joined together to do so. [3] Our meetings are a gathering of members for the purpose of staying clean and carrying the message of recovery. [4] Our Steps and Traditions are uniform and steps and traditions are set down in a specific order. [5] They are numbered, they are not random and unstructured. [6] Certainly they are organized, but this is not the type of organization of our referred to in the Ninth Tradition. [7] For the purpose of this Tradition, organized In this tradition, "organized" means having an administrative structure, and this implies management and control. [8] On this basis, the meaning of Tradition Nine is clear. [9] Even without Without this Tradition tradition, organization such as this would be in opposition to our spiritual principles. [10] A loving God, as He may express Himself in our group conscience, would find no place within an administrative structure is our ultimate authority. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Nine. [4] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Nine. [5]; [6]; [7]; [8] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Nine. [9]; [10] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Nine.

[1] The Ninth Tradition goes on to define the nature of the things that we can do, outside N.A., to help N.A. [2] It says that we may create service boards of committees directly responsible to those they to serve the needs of the Fellowship. [3] They exist solely to serve the Fellowship. [4] This is the nature of our service structure as it has evolved and been defined in the N.A. service manual. [1]; [2] Paragraph six, greybook, Tradition Nine.

[1] In order to achieve our spiritual aim, Narcotics Anonymous must be known and respected. [2] Nowhere is this more obvious than in our history. [3] N.A. was founded in 1953. [4] For twenty years, our Fellowship remained small and obscure. [5] In the 1970’s, society realized that addiction had become a worldwide condition epidemic and began to look for answers. [6] Along with this came a change in the way people conceived thought of the addict. [7] This change allowed addicts to seek help more openly. [8] N.A. groups sprang up in many places where we were never tolerated before. [9] Recovering addicts pave paved the way for more groups and more recoveries recovery. [10] Today N.A. is a worldwide Fellowship. [11] ; we are known and respected everywhere. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Ten.

[1] If an addict has never heard of us, he cannot seek us out. [2] If those who work with addicts are unaware of our existence, they cannot refer them to us. [3] One of the most important things we can do to help in further our primary purpose is to let people know who, what and where we are. [4] If we do this and if our keep our good reputation is good, we will surely grow. [All] Paragraph two, greybook, Tradition Ten.

[1] Our recovery speaks for itself. [2] Our Tenth Tradition specifically helps protect our reputation. [3] This Tradition tradition says that N.A. has no opinion on outside issues. [4] We don’t take sides. [5] We don’t have any recommendations. [6] N.A., as a fellowship Fellowship, does not participate in the on politics of society. To; to do so would invite controversy. [7] ; it It would jeopardize our reputation Fellowship. [8] Those who agree with our opinions might commend us for taking a stand, but some would always disagree. [9] With a price this high, is it any wonder that we choose not to take sides in society’s problems? [10] For our own survival, we have no opinion on outside issues; we keep ourselves apart so that we will never forget why we are here, and so that others will not mistake our purpose. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Ten. [9]; [10] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Ten.

[1] This Tradition also tradition deals with our relationship to those outside the Fellowship. [2] It tells us how we should relate to the addict who still suffers, and it It tells us how to conduct our effort efforts at the public level." [3] Our public image consists of what we have to offer, a successful proven way of maintaining a drug-free lifestyle. [4] While it is important to reach as many people as possible, it is imperative for our protection that we are careful about advertisements, circulars and any literature that may reach the public’s hands. [1]; [2] Paragraph one, greybook, Tradition Eleven.

[1] Our attraction is that we are successes in our own right. [2] As groups, we offer recovery. [3] We have found that the success of our program speaks for itself; this is our promotion.

[1] Our Eleventh Tradition also tells This tradition goes on to tell us that we need also to maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. [2] This is to protect the membership and the reputation of Narcotics Anonymous. [3] Most of us interpret this to mean that we don't We do not give our last names or show our faces publicly nor appear in the media as members of N.A a member of Narcotics Anonymous. [4] No one member is N.A. and no one member can speak for us individual inside or outside the Fellowship represents Narcotics Anonymous. [1]; [3] Paragraph three, greybook, Tradition Eleven. [4] Paragraph four, greybook, Tradition Eleven.

[1] A dictionary definition of anonymity is "a state of bearing no name". [2] In keeping with Tradition Twelve, the "I" becomes "we". [3] The spiritual foundation becomes more important than any one group of individual.

[1] As we find ourselves growing closer together, the awakening of humility occurs. [2] Humility is a by-product that allows us to grow and develop in an atmosphere of freedom, and removes the fear of becoming known by our employers, families or friends as addicts. [3] Therefore, we attempt to rigorously adhere to the principle that "what is said in meetings stays in meetings." [4] Throughout our Traditions, we speak in terms of "we" and "our"" rather than "me" or "mine." [5] By working together for our common welfare, we achieve the true spirit of anonymity.

[1] We have heard the phrase, "principles before personalities" so often that it is like a cliché. [2] The While we may disagree as individuals, the spiritual principle of anonymity protects makes us from our defects of personality and character all equal as members of the group. [3] No member is greater or lesser than any other member. [4] The drive for personal gain in the areas of sex, property and social position, which bought so much pain in the past, falls by the wayside if we adhere to the principle of anonymity. [5] Anonymity is everywhere in our Traditions and in our Fellowship. It is one of the basic elements of our recovery and it pervades our Traditions and our Fellowship. [6] Where anonymity exists, It protects us from our own defects of character and renders personalities and their differences have no power powerless. [7] Anonymity in action makes it impossible for personalities to come before principles. [2]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Tradition Twelve.

[1] Many consider continuous abstinence and people think that recovery as note worthy and therefore synonymous, while relapsers are sort of pushed aside or worse yet, used as statistics that in no way give a true picture of the entire addiction pattern is simply a matter of not using drugs. [2] They consider a relapse a sign of complete failure, and long periods of abstinence a sign of complete success. [3] We in the recovery program of Narcotics Anonymous have noted with some satisfaction that many of the relapsers, when again active in their prime or substitute addiction, have dropped many of the parallel behaviors that characterized them in the past. This change alone is significant to us. found that this perception is too simplistic. [4] After a member has had some involvement in our Fellowship, a relapse may be the jarring experience that brings about a more rigorous application of the program. [5] Yet there are others completely By the me token we have observed some members who remain abstinent for long periods of time whose dishonesties and self-deceits dishonesty and self-deceit still prevent them from enjoying complete recovery and acceptance within society. [6] Complete and continuous abstinence, however, is still the best ground for growth. In in close association and identification with others in N.A. groups, our chances for recovery and complete freedom in a changing and creative form are enhanced a hundred fold, is still the best ground for growth. [1]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Seven. [6] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Although all addicts are basically the same in kind, we do, as individuals, differ in degree of sickness and rate of recovery. [2] There may be times when a relapse lays the groundwork for complete freedom. [3] At other times that freedom can only be achieved by a grim and obstinate willfulness to hang on to abstinence come hell or high water until a crisis passes, can that freedom be a achieved. [4] An addict, who by any means can lose, even for a time, the need or desire to use, and has free choice over impulsive thinking and compulsive action, has reached a turning point that may be the decisive factor in his recovery. [5] The feeling of true independence and freedom hangs here at times in the balance. [6] To step out alone and run our own lives again draws us, yet we seem to know that what we have has come from dependence on a Power greater than ourselves and from the giving and receiving of help from others in acts of empathy. [7] Many times in our recovery the old bugaboos will haunt us. [8] Life may again become meaningless, monotonous and boring. [9] We may tire mentally in repeating our new ideas and tire physically in our new activities, yet we know that if we fail to repeat them we will surely take up our old practices. [10] We suspect that if we do not use what we have, we will lose what we have. [11] These times are often the periods of our greatest growth. [12] Our minds and bodies seem tired of it all, yet the dynamic forces of change or true conversion, deep within, may be working to give us the answers that alter our inner motivations and change our lives. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Seven. [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12] Paragraph four, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Emotional sobriety in reality Recovery as experienced through our Twelve Steps is our goal, not mere physical abstinence. [2] To improve ourselves takes effort, and since there is no way in the world to graft a new idea on a closed mind, an opening must be made somehow. [3] Since we can do this only for ourselves, we need to recognize two of our seemingly inherent enemies, apathy and procrastination. [4] Our resistance to change seems built in, and only a nuclear blast of some kind will bring about and alteration or initiate another course of action. [5] A relapse, if we survive it, may prove provide the charge for the demolition process. [6] A relapse and sometimes subsequent death of someone close to us can to the job of awakening us to the necessity for vigorous personal action. [1] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Seven. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] We have seen addicts come to our Fellowship, try our program and stay clean for a period of time, only to drift gradually away. [2] They lose Over time some addicts lost contact with other recovering addicts and eventually return returned to active addiction. [3] They forgot that it is really the first drug that starts the deadly cycle all over again. [4] They tried to control it, to use in moderation, or to use just certain drugs. [5] None of the control methods work for addicts. [1]; [2] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Relapse is a reality. [2] It can and does happen. [3] Experience shows that those who do not work our program of recovery on a daily basis may relapse. [4] We see them come back seeking recovery. [5] Maybe they were clean for years before their relapse. [6] If they are lucky enough to make it back, they are shaken badly. [7] They tell us that the relapse was more horrible than earlier use. [8] We have never seen a person who lives the Narcotics Anonymous Program relapse.

[1] Relapses are often fatal. [2] We have attended funerals of loved ones who died from a relapse. [3] They died in various ways. [4] Often we see relapsers lost for years, living in misery. [5] Those who make it to jail or institutions may survive and perhaps have a reintroduction to N.A.

[1] In our daily lives, we are subject to emotional, mental environmental, intellectual, and spiritual relapses lapses, causing us to become defenseless against the physical relapse of addiction drug use. [2] As a disease, addiction is Because addiction is an incurable disease, addicts are subject to relapse. [1] Paragraph twenty-six, greybook, Chapter Seven. [2] Paragraph twenty-seven, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] We are never forced into relapse. [2] We are given a choice. [3] Relapse is never an accident. [4] Relapse is a sign that we have had reservations a reservation in our program. [5] We begin slighted to slight our program and left leave loopholes in our daily lives. [6] Aware Unaware of the pitfalls ahead, we trod stumble blindly on in the belief that we could can make it on our own. [7] If we continue to Sooner or later we fall back into the illusion illusions that drugs would make life easier. [8] We believed believe that drugs would can change us, and forgot we forget that these changes would be fatal are lethal. [9] When we believe that drugs will solve our problems and forget what they can do to us, we are in real trouble. [10] Unless the illusion is illusions that we can continue to use or stop using on our own are shattered that we, in any way, can stop using on our own, we will use again most certainly sign our death warrant. [11] For some reason, not taking care of our personal affairs lowers or self-esteem and establishes a pattern that repeats itself in all areas of our lives. [12] We took the opportunity If we begin to avoid several of our new responsibilities by missing meetings, skipping work, neglecting Twelv Twelfth Step work, and most important, we stopped asking for help. Growth in the or not getting involved, our program stopped stops. [13] These are the kinds of things that lead to relapse. [14] We could may sense a change coming over us. [15] Our ability to remain slightly open-minded was gone disappears. [16] We became may become angry and resentful toward anyone and everyone or anything. [17] We began may begin to reject those who were close to us. [18] We isolate ourselves. [19] We became genuinely become sick of ourselves in a short time. [20] We revert back to our sickest behavior patterns without even having to use drugs. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph twenty-seven, greybook, Chapter Seven. [4]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph twenty-eight, greybook, Chapter Seven. [8]; [10] Paragraph twenty-nine, greybook, Chapter Seven. [12]; [14]; [15]; [16]; [17]; [19] Paragraph thirty, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] When a resentment or any other emotional relapse upheaval occurs, failure to practice the Steps steps can result in physical a relapse. [All] Paragraph thirty-one, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Obsessive behavior is a common denominator for addictive people. [2] We have times when we try to fill ourselves up until we are satisfied, only to discover that there is no way to satisfy us. [3] Part of our addictive pattern is that we can never get enough. [4] Sometimes we forget, and we think that if we can just get enough food or enough sex, or enough money we’ll be satisfied, and everything will be all right. [5] It is hard to believe that now in our recovery somehow self-will Self-will still leads us to make decisions based on manipulation, ego, lust or false pride but it happens . . . often. [6] We hate don’t like to be wrong. [7] Our egos tell us that we can do it on our own, but loneliness and paranoia quickly return. [8] We find that we cannot really do it alone; when we try, things get worse. [9] We need to be reminded of where we came from and that our disease will get progressively worse if we use. [10] This is when we need the Fellowship. [5]; [6] Paragraph thirty-five, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Remember we We don’t recover overnight. [2] When we realize that we have made a bad decision or bad judgment, we make an attempt our inclination is to rationalize it. [3] We often become extreme in our self-righteous attempts self-obsessive attempt to cover our tracks. [4] We forget that we have a choice today. [5] We get sicker progressively. [1]; [2]; [3]; [5] Paragraph thirty-five, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] There is something in our self-destructive personalities that cries for failure. [2] It permeates our total being --"You Most of us feel that we do not deserve to succeed. [3] This is a common theme with addicts. [4] Self-pity is one of the most destructive of defects; it will drain us of all positive energy. [5] We focus on anything that isn’t going our way and ignore all the beauty in our lives. [6] With no real desire to improve our lives, or even to live, we just keep going further and further down. [7] Some of us never make it back. [1]; [2] Paragraph thirty-six, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Addicts must patiently re-learn We must relearn many things that we have forgotten and learn how to live develop a new approach to life if we are to survive. [2] This is what Narcotics Anonymous is all about. [3] It is about people who care about a desperate, dying addict addicts and who can, in time, teach him them how to care and love also live without drugs. [4] Many of our newcomers have us had difficulty coming into the Fellowship because they do we did not understand that we have a the disease called "addiction" of addiction. [5] We are deemed to sometimes see our past behavior as part of ourselves and not part of our disease. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph eleven, greybook, Chapter Seven. [4]; [5] Paragraph thirty-one, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] We take the First Step. [2] We admit that we are powerless over our addiction, that our lives have become unmanageable. [3] Slowly things get better, and we start getting our confidence back. [4] Our ego tells us that we can do it on our own then loneliness and paranoia return. [5] Things are getting better, and we think we really don’t need this program. [6] Cockiness is a red light indicator. [7] The loneliness and paranoia will come back. [8] We find out that we cannot can’t do it on our own and things get worse. [9] We really take the First Step, this time internally. [10] There will be times, however, when we really feel like getting off using. [11] We want to run, and we feel lousy. [12] , we We need to be reminded of where we came from and that it will be worse this time. [13] That This is when we need the Fellowship program the most. [14] We realize we must do something. [1]; [4]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11]; [12]; [13] Paragraph thirty-three, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] When we forget this or the effort and tenacity the work that it took us to get a period of time freedom in our lives when we experienced freedom from within; ungratefulness, a lack of gratitude sinks in, and self-destructive behavior self-destruction begins again. [2] Unless recognition and action is taken immediately that fall will encompass, we run the risk of a relapse that threatens our very existence and then we are along for the ride. [3] Keeping our illusion of reality, rather than using the tools of the program and the people in the Fellowship, will return us to isolation. [4] This loneliness Loneliness will kill us inside and the drugs which that almost always come next may to the job completely. [5] The symptoms and the feelings that we experienced at the end of our using will come back three fold even stronger than before. [6] This impact is sure to drown destroy us if we don’t surrender ourselves to the program N.A. Program. [All] Paragraph forty-eight, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Relapse can be the destructive force that kills us or leads us to the realization of who and what we really are. [2] The eventual misery of using is not worth the temporary escape it might give us. [3] For us, to use is to die, often in more ways than one. [All] Paragraph forty-eight, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] One of our the biggest stumbling blocks in N.A. is unrealized to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations of on ourselves and or others. [2] Relationships are can be a terribly painful area. [3] We tend to fantasize and project images of what should will happen. [4] We pick ourselves apart and decide we are to blame get angry and resentful if our fantasies are not fulfilled. [5] It seems the farthest thing from our minds is that We forget that we are powerless over other people. [6] The old thinking thoughts and feelings of loneliness, despair, and helplessness and self-pity creep in. [7] Thoughts of sponsors, meetings, literature and all other positive input then leave the our consciousness. [8] We have to keep our recovery first and our priorities in order. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph forty-two, greybook, Chapter Seven. [5]; [6] Paragraph forty-three, greybook, Chapter Seven. [7] Paragraph forty-four, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Writing about what we want, what we are asking for, what we get, and sharing this with our sponsor or another trusted person helps us to work through those negative feelings. [2] , and letting Letting others share with us about their experience with us gives us hope that it does get better. [3] It seems that being powerless is a huge stumbling block. [4] Whenever a situation When a need arises for us to admit our powerlessness, we may first look for ways to exert power against it. [5] After exhausting these ways, we begin sharing with others, and we find hope. [6] Attending meetings daily, living a day at a time, and reading literature seems to send our mental attitude back toward the positive. [7] Willingness to try what has worked for others is vital. [8] Even when we feel that we don’t want to attend, meetings are a source of strength and hope for us. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph forty-four, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] It is important to share our feelings of wanting to use drugs. [2] It is amazing how often newcomers think that it is really abnormal for a drug addict to want to use. [3] When we feel the old urges come over us, we think there must be something wrong with us, and that other people in Narcotics Anonymous couldn’t possibly understand.

[1] It is important to remember that the desire to use will pass. [2] We never have to use again, no matter how we feel. [3] All feelings will eventually pass.

[1] Progression The progression of recovery is a continuous, uphill journey uphill with loving effort. [2] Without love or effort we start the downhill run again. [3] The progression of the disease is an ongoing process, even during abstinence, no matter how long. [All] Paragraph forty-seven, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Life's flow takes place in this manner; We come here powerless, and the power that we seek comes to us through other people in the Fellowship if Narcotics Anonymous, but we can only must reach out for it. [2] Now in the Fellowship with clean time clean and in the Fellowship, we will want need to keep ourselves surrounded by Fellow members others who know us well and who we can count on in a pinch. [3] We need each other. [4] N.A. Narcotics Anonymous is a fellowship Fellowship of survival, and one of the its advantages of the Fellowship is that it places us in intimate, regular contact with the very people who can most best understand and help us in our quest for recovery. [5] All the good Good ideas and good intentions will do not help us at all if we fail to put them into action. [6] Reaching out is the beginning of the struggle that will make set us free. [7] It will break down the walls that imprison us. [8] Our A symptom of our disease is one of isolation alienation, and honest sharing will free us to recover. [All] Paragraph fifty-four, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] We are grateful that we were made so welcome at meetings that we felt comfortable going to one meeting a day for ninety days. [2] Without staying clean and coming to all those meetings, we would surely have had a rougher time working the Steps with the steps. [3] Just one fix, pill, drink or toke would have interrupted Any use of drugs will interrupt the process of recovery and cut us off from the Fellowship. [All] Paragraph fifty-five, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] We all find that the feeling we get from helping others motivates us to do better in our own lives. [2] If we are hurting, and most of do from time to time, we learn to ask for help. [3] We find that pain shared is pain lessened. [4] Members of the Fellowship take great pleasure in helping are willing to help a relapser recover and have great insight and many useful suggestions to offer when asked. [5] Recovery found in Narcotics Anonymous must come from within, and no one gets stays clean for anyone but themselves. [All] Paragraph fifty-seven, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] In our disease, we are dealing with a destructive, violent power greater than ourselves that can lead to relapse. [2] If we have relapsed, it is important to keep in mind that we must get back to meetings as soon as possible. [3] Otherwise, we may have only months, days, or hours before we reach a threshold where we are gone beyond recall. [4] Our disease is so cunning that it can get us into impossible situations. [5] When it does, we come back to the program if we can, while we can. [6] Once we use, we are under the control of our disease.

[1] We can never fully recover, no matter how long we stay clean. [2] Complacency is the enemy of members with substantial clean time. [3] Some of us reach a point of complacency in recovery. If stay at this level we remain complacent for long, the recovery process ceases and we begin to backslide. [4] If complacency is not acted upon the The disease begins to will manifest apparent symptoms in us. [5] Denial returns, along with obsession and compulsion. [6] Guilt, remorse, fear , lust and pride may all become unbearable if we fail to invest ourselves totally in the program, no matter how much clean time we have. [7] Soon we reach a point place where we stand on the border line our backs are against the wall. [8] Denial and the First Step conflict in our minds. [9] If we let the obsession of using overcome us, we are doomed to relapse. [10] Only a complete and total acceptance of the First Step can save us. [11] We must totally surrender ourselves to the program. [1]; [2]; [6] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Chapter Seven. [3] Paragraph forty, greybook, Chapter Seven. [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph forty-one, greybook, Chapter Seven. [7]; [8]; [9]; [10] Paragraph forty-one, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] The first thing to do is get to stay clean. [2] This makes the other stages of recovery possible. [3] As long as we preserve our stay clean time, no matter what, we enjoy have the greatest possible advantage over our disease. [4] For this we are grateful. [All] Paragraph thirty-two, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Many of us get clean in a protected environment, such as a rehabilitation center or recovery house. [2] When re-entering we re-enter the outside world, we feel lost, confused and vulnerable. [3] Going to meetings daily, or more as often if as possible will reduce the shock of change. [4] Meetings provide a safe place to share with others during this time. [5] We begin to live the program; we learn to apply spiritual principles in our lives. [6] We must use what we learn or we will lose it in a relapse. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Many of us would have had nowhere else to go, if we could not have trusted N.A. groups and members. [2] At first, we were both captivated and intimidated by the fellowship. [3] No longer uncomfortable with our using friends, we were not yet at home in the meetings. [4] We began to lose our fear through the experience of sharing. [5] The more we shared, to more our fears slipped away. [6] We shared for this reason. [7] Growth means change. [8] Spiritual maintenance means ongoing recovery. [9] Isolation is dangerous to spiritual growth.

[1] All Those of us who find the Fellowship and at least begin to work live the Steps steps develop some kind of relationship relationships with others. [2] As we grow, we learn to overcome the tendency to run and hide from ourselves and our feelings. [3] Learning to be totally Being honest about our feelings helps other people take us seriously others to identify with us. [4] We find that when we come across communicate honestly it seems to, we reach others better. [5] Honesty takes practice, and none of us profess claims to be perfect in this area. [6] Whenever When we feel trapped or pressured, it takes great spiritual and emotional strength to be honest. [7] Sharing our lives with others seems to keep keeps us from feeling lonely isolated and alone. [8] This process is a creative action of the spirit. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twenty-one, greybook, Chapter Seven. [6]; [7] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] When we work the program, we are living the Steps steps daily. [2] This gives us experience in applying spiritual principles. [3] The experience gained that we gain with time insures helps our ongoing recovery. [4] We must use what we learn or we will lose it and probably relapse, no matter how long we have been clean. [5] Eventually we are shown that we must get honest, or we will use again. [6] We pray for willingness and humility and finally get honest about our mistaken judgment judgments or bad decision decisions. [7] We tell those who were hurt we have harmed that we were to blame , ask them to forgive us and make whatever amends are necessary. [8] Now we are in the solution again. [9] We are working the program. [10] It comes becomes easier to work the program now. [11] We think that the Tenth Step helps know that the steps help prevent relapse. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph eighteen, greybook, Chapter Seven. [5]; [6]; [7]; [8]; [9]; [10]; [11] Paragraph thirty-five, greybook, Chapter Seven

[1] Relapsers may also fall into another trap. [2] We may doubt that we can stop using and stay clean. [3] We can never stay clean on our own. [4] Frustrated, we cry, "I cannot do it!" [5] We beat ourselves as we come back into the program. [6] We imagine that our fellow members will not respect the courage it take to come back. [7] We have learned the utmost respect for that type of courage. [8] We applaud heartily. [9] It is not shameful to relapse. The real -- the shame is in not coming back. [10] We must smash the illusion that we can do it alone. [9] Paragraph fifty-five, greybook, Chapter Seven.

[1] Another type of relapse happens when being clean is not the top priority. [2] Staying clean must always come first. [3] At times, we all experience difficulty in our recovery. [4] Emotional lapses result when we don’t practice what we have learned. [5] Those who make it through these times show a courage not their own. [6] After coming through one of these periods, we can readily agree that it is always darkest before the dawn. [7] Once we get through a difficult time clean, we are given a tool of recovery that we can use again and again.

[1] If we relapse, we may feel guilt and embarrassment. [2] Our relapse is embarrassing, but we cannot save our face and our ass at the same time. [3] We find that it is best to get back on the program as soon as possible. [4] It is better to swallow our pride than to die or to go permanently insane.

[1] As long as we maintain an attitude of thankfulness for being clean, we find it is easier to remain clean. [2] The best way to express gratitude is by carrying the message of our experience, strength and hope to the still-suffering addict. [3] We are ready to work with any suffering addict.

[1] Living the program on a daily basis provides many valuable experiences. [2] If we are plagued by an obsession to use, experience has taught us to call a fellow recovering addict and get to a meeting.

[1] Using addicts are self-centered, angry, frightened and lonely people. [2] In recovery, we experience spiritual growth. [3] While using we were dishonest, self-seeking and often institutionalized. [4] The program allows us to become responsible and productive members of society.

[1] As we begin to function in society, our creative freedom helps us sort our priorities and do the basic things first. [2] Daily practice of our Twelve Step Program enables us to change from what we were to people guided by a Higher Power. [3] With the help of our sponsor or spiritual advisor, gradually we learn to trust and depend on our Higher Power.

[1] Although "Politics makes strange bedfellows," as the old saying goes, addiction make us one of a kind. [2] Our personal stories may vary in individual pattern but in the end we all have the same thing in common. [3] This common issues or disorder is addiction. [4] We know well the two things that make up true addiction. Obsession: obsession and compulsion. [5] Obsession -- that fixed idea that takes us back time and time again to our particular drug, or some substitute, to recapture the ease and comfort we once knew. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Eight. [5] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Compulsion -- that once having started the process with one "fix" fix, one pill or one drink we cannot stop through our own power of will. [2] Because of our physical sensitivity to drugs, we are completely in the grip of a destructive power stronger greater than ourselves. [All] Paragraph three, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] When at the end of the road we find that we can no longer function as a human being either with or without drugs, we all face the same dilemma. [2] What is there left to do? [3] There seems to be these alternatives this alternative: either go on as best we can to the bitter ends -- jails, institutions or death -- or find a new way to live. [4] In years gone by, very few addicts ever had this last choice. [5] Those who are addicted today are more fortunate. [6] For the first time in man’s entire history, a simple way has been proving itself in the lives of many addicts. [7] It is available to us all. [8] This is a simple spiritual -- not religious -- program, known as Narcotics Anonymous. [1] Paragraph four, greybook, Chapter Eight. [2]; [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [7]; [8] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] When my addictions addiction brought me to the point of complete powerlessness, uselessness and surrender some twenty-six fifteen years ago,* [* Written in 1965] there was no N.A. [2] I found A.A., and in that Fellowship met addicts who had also found the that program to be the answer to their problem. [3] However, we knew that many were still going down the road to of disillusion, degradation and death, because they were unable to identify with the alcoholic in A.A. [4] Their identification was at the level of apparent symptoms and not at the deeper level of emotions or feelings, where empathy becomes a healing therapy for all addicted people. [5] With several other addicts and some members of A.A. who had great faith in us and the program, we formed, in July of 1953, what we now know as Narcotics Anonymous. [6] We felt that now the addict would find from the start as much identification as each needed to convince himself that he could stay clean, by the example of others who had recovered for many years. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Eight. [5]; [6] Paragraph seven, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] That this was what was principally needed has proved itself in these passing years. [2] That wordless language of recognition, belief and faith, which we call empathy, created the atmosphere in which we could feel time, touch reality and recognize spiritual values long lost to many of us. [3] In our program of recovery we are growing in numbers and in strength. [4] Never before have so many clean addicts, of their own choice and in free society, been able to meet where they please, to maintain their recovery in complete creative freedom. [All] Paragraph eight, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Even addicts said it could not be done the way we had it planned. [2] We believed in openly scheduled meetings -- no more hiding as other groups had tried. [2] We believed this differed from all other methods tried before by those who advocated long withdrawal from society. [3] We felt that the sooner the addict could face his problem in every day living, just that much faster would he become a real productive citizen. [4] We eventually have to stand on our own feet and face life on its own terms, so why not from the start. [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Because of this, of course, many stayed and some came back after their setback relapsed and many were lost completely. [2] However, many stayed and some came back after their setback. [2] The brighter part is the fact that of those who are now our members, many have long terms of complete abstinence and are better able to help the newcomer. [3] Their attitude, based on the spiritual values of our Steps, and Traditions steps and traditions, is the dynamic force that is bringing increase and unity to our program. [4] Now we know that the time has come when the that tired old lie, "Once an addict, always an addict," will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. [5] We do recover. [All] Paragraph nine, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] It all Recovery begins with that first surrender and admission. [2] From that point forward, each addict of us is reminded that a day clean is a day won, and any failure is only a temporary set-back rather than a link in an unbreakable chain. [3] In Narcotics Anonymous, our attitudes, thoughts and reactions change. [4] We come to realize that we are not alien and begin to understand and accept who we are. [1]; [2] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] As long as there have been people, addiction has existed. [2] For us, addiction is the an obsession and to use the drugs that are destroying us, followed by a compulsion that forces us to continue. [3] Complete abstinence is the foundation for our new way of life. [1]; [2] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] In the past, there was no hope for an addict. [2] In Narcotics Anonymous, we learn to share the loneliness, anger and fear that addicts have in common and cannot control. [3] Our old ideas are what got us into trouble. [4] We weren’t focused on the oriented toward fulfillment of life, but ; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all. [5] We could not deal with success, so failure became a way of life. [6] In recovery, failures are only temporary setbacks rather than links in an unbreakable chain. [7] Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness to change are all new attitudes that help us to admit our faults and to ask for help. [8] This compels a person We are no longer compelled to act against their our true inner nature and keep doing to do things they that we don’t really want to do. [4]; [5] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Chapter Eight. [8] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] We realize that an addict is going to Most addicts resist recovery, Things and the program we have shared share with them interfere interferes with their using. [2] If a person tells newcomers tell us that they can smoke pot continue to use drugs in any form and suffer no ill side effects, there are two ways we can look at it. [3] The first possibility is that they are not an addict addicts. [4] The other is that the their disease hasn't has not become apparent to them and that they are still denying their addiction. [5] Addiction and withdrawal distort rational thought, and newcomers usually focus on differences rather than similarities. [6] They look for ways to disprove the evidence of addiction or disqualify themselves from recovery. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph nineteen, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Many of us did the same thing when we were new, so when we work with others We always we try not to be careful because we don't want to say or do do or say anything that might prevent will give them from seeking help when drugs turn on them. the excuse to continue using. [2] We have found from our group experience know that honesty and empathy is are essential for the new member to surrender completely to the program. [3] We have also found that complete Complete surrender is the only way to recover key to recovery, and total abstinence is the only thing that has ever worked for us. [4] No In our experience, no addict who has ever failed to recover who has completely surrendered completely to our this program has ever failed to find recovery. [1] Paragraph twenty, greybook, Chapter Eight. [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph twenty-one, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Narcotics Anonymous is a spiritual, not religious program. [1] Every Any clean addict who is clean and without a compulsion to use is a miracle, To keep that and keeping the miracle alive is an ongoing process of awareness, surrender and growth. [3] It is important for us to remember that For an addict, not using is an abnormal state for us. [4] We have to learn to live clean. [5] We need learn to be honest with ourselves and think of both the negative and positive sides of things. [6] Decision making is rough at first. [7] Before we got clean, most of our actions were guided by impulse. [8] Today, we are not locked into this type of thinking. [9] We are free. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4]; [5] Paragraph twenty-nine, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] We have found In our recovery, we find it essential to accept reality. [2] Since that time Once we can do this, we have do not found find it necessary to use drugs in an attempt to change our perceptions. [3] Without drugs, we can function like normal have a chance to begin functioning as useful human beings, which means accepting is we accept ourselves and the world around us exactly as it is. [4] We learn that conflicts are a part of reality, and learn to be grateful for them. We we learn new ways to resolve conflicts them instead of running away from them. [5] They are a part of the real world. [6] We learn to handle become emotionally involved with problems, not to solve them. [7] We deal with what is at hand and try not to force solutions. [8] We have learned that if a solution isn’t practical, it isn’t spiritual. [9] Everyone has In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we have tended to make them problems, like making a mountain made mountains out of a mole hill molehills. [10] Our best ideas got us here. [11] In recovery, we learn to depend on a Power greater than ourselves. [12] We really don’t have any brilliant all the answers or solutions, but we can honestly say that this program works! learn to live without drugs. [13] We can stay clean and even enjoy life, remembering, "just for today" and not picking up that first fix, pill, drink, or joint if we remember to live "Just for Today." [1]; [2] Paragraph thirty-two, greybook, Chapter Eight. [3]; [4]; [5]; [6]; [9]; [12]; [13] Paragraph thirty-three, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] We are not responsible for our disease, We are responsible only for our recovery. [2] As we begin to apply what we have learned, our lives begin to change for the better. [3] We can seek help from others addicts who are enjoying lives free from having the obsession to use drugs. [4] No one completely understands this process, but thank God we We do not have to understand it this program for it to work. [5] All we have to do is to follow direction. [1]; [2]; [3]; [4] Paragraph thirty-seven, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] We get relief through the Twelve Steps, and sharing with trusted friends which are essential to the recovery process, because they are a new, spiritual way of life that allows us to participate in our own recovery. [All] Paragraph thirty-nine, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] From "day one", the first day, the Twelve Steps started becoming become a part of our lives. [2] At first, we were may be filled with negativity, and we only allowed allow the First Step to take hold. [3] Today Later, we have less fear of going insane or using, than we once did and can use these tools more fully and to our greater advantage. [4] We realize that those old feelings and fears were a product are symptoms of our disease. [5] , and that real Real freedom is possible for us now now possible. [All] Paragraph forty-two, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Now that we are in N.A. we have As we recover, we gain a new outlook on being clean. [2] We enjoy a feeling of release and freedom from the desire to use. [3] We find that everyone we meet eventually has something to offer. [4] We are free become able to receive as well as to give. [5] Opening these doors and entering them becomes Life can become a new adventure in living for us. [6] We will come to know happiness, joy and freedom. [All] Paragraph forty-five, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] There exists is no model of the recovered recovering addict. [2] When the drugs go and the addict works the program, wonderful things happen. [3] Lost dreams awaken and new possibilities spring arise. [4] Being willing Our willingness to grow spiritually is the direction that keeps us buoyant today. [5] When we take the actions indicated in the steps, the result is a healing of our distorted personalities results are a change in our personality. [6] It is the our actions that are important, not the result. [7] We leave all the results to God our Higher Power. [1]; [2]; [3] Paragraph forty-seven, greybook, Chapter Eight. [4]; [5]; [6]; [7] Paragraph fifty, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Recovery becomes a contact process; we lose the fear of touching and of being touched. [2] We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world when we feel alone. [3] We experience real love and real friendship.

[1] We know that we are powerless over an illness which is chronic, progressive and fatal. [2] If not arrested, it gets worse until we die. [3] We cannot deal with the obsession and compulsion that comes with the disease. [4] The only alternative is to stop using When we are willing to follow this course and take advantage of the help available to us, a whole new life opens up. and start learning how to live. [5] When we are willing to follow this course of action and take advantage of the help available to us, a whole new life if possible. [6] In this way, we do recover. [1]; [3]; [4] Paragraph twenty-eight, greybook, Chapter Eight.

[1] Smiling doesn't hurt anymore Today, secure in the love of the Fellowship, we can finally look others another human being in the eye and be grateful for who we are. [All] Paragraph forty-nine, greybook, Chapter Eight.

JUST FOR TODAY My my thoughts will be on my recovery, 
living and enjoying life without the use of drugs.

JUST FOR TODAY I will have faith in someone in N.A. 
who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.

JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. 
I will try to follow it to the best of my ability.

JUST FOR TODAY Through through N.A. I will try 
to get a better perspective on my life.

JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid, my thoughts will be on 
my new associations, people who are not using and 
who have found a new way of life. So long as I follow 
that way, I have nothing to fear.

[All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] We knew admit that our lives had become have been unmanageable, but some of us had sometimes we have a problem admitting the powerlessness over our addiction need for help. [2] A great many addicts have a hard time with acceptance Our own self-will leads to many problems in our recovery. [3] For so long, we have wanted and demanded We want and demand that things always go our way. [4] We should know from our past experience that our way of doing things did not work. [5] The principle of surrender guides us into a way of life in which we draw our strength from a Power greater than ourselves. [6] When we came to our first meeting it was as though a big weight was lifted from our shoulders, guilt feelings rolled off and a feeling of peace came over us, as we realized that with our Our daily surrender to our Higher Power, would come provides the help we so desperately needed need. [7] As addicts, we have trouble with acceptance, which is critical to our recovery. [8] When we refuse to practice acceptance, we are, in effect, still denying our faith in a Higher Power. [9] Worrying is a lack of faith. [1]; [6] Paragraph two, greybook, Chapter Nine. [2]; [3]; [4]; [8] Paragraph four, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] Surrendering our will puts is in contact with a Higher Power who fills the empty place inside that nothing could ever fill. [2] We learned to trust God for help daily. [3] Living just for today relieves the burden of the past and the fear of the future. [4] We learned to take whatever actions are necessary and to leave the results in the hands of our Higher Power.

[1] The Narcotics Anonymous Program is spiritual. [2] We strongly suggest that members make an attempt to find a Higher Power of their understanding. [3] Some of us have profound spiritual experiences, dramatic and inspirational in nature. [4] For others, the awakening is more subtle. [5] We recover in an atmosphere for acceptance and respect for one another’s beliefs. [6] We try to avoid the self-deception of arrogance and self-righteousness. [7] As we develop faith is our daily lives, we find that our Higher Power supplies us with the strength and guidance that we need.

[1] Each of us is free to work out our own concept of a Higher Power. [2] Many of us were suspicious and skeptical because of disappointments that we have had with religion. [3] As new members, the talk of God we heard in meetings repelled us. [4] Until we sought our worn answers in this area, we were trapped in the ideas gathered from our past. [5] Agnostics and atheists sometimes start by just talking to "whatever’s there." [6] There is a spirit or an energy that can be felt in the meetings. [7] This is sometimes the newcomer’s first concept of a Higher Power. [8] Ideas from the past are often incomplete and unsatisfactory. [9] Everything we know is subject to revision, especially what we know about the truth. [10] We re-evaluate our old ideas, so we can become acquainted with the new ideas that lead to a new way of life. [11] We recognize that we are human with a physical, mental and spiritual sickness. [12] When we accept that our addiction caused our own hell and that there is a power available to help us, we begin to make progress in solving our problems.

[1] This lack Lack of daily maintenance can show up in many ways. [2] Through open-minded effort, we come to rely on a daily relationship with God as we understand Him. [3] Each day most of us ask our Higher Power to help us stay clean, and each night we give thanks for the gift of recovery. [4] As our lives become more comfortable, many of us lapse into spiritual complacency, and risking relapse, we find ourselves in the same horror and loss of purpose from which we came We forget we are have been given only a daily reprieve. [5] This is hopefully, when our pain motivates us to renew our daily spiritual maintenance. [6] One way that we can continue a conscious contact, especially in hard times, is to list the things for which we are grateful. [1]; [4] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] Many of us have found that setting aside quiet time for ourselves is helpful in making conscious contact with our Higher Power. [2] By quieting the mind, meditation can lead us to calmness and serenity. [3] This quieting of the mind can be done in any place, time, or manner, according to the individual.

[1] Our Higher Power is accessible to us at all times. [2] We find that we receive received guidance when we ask for knowledge of God’s will for us. [3] Gradually, as we become more God-centered than self-centered, our despair turns to hope. [4] Change also involves the unknown, the great source of fear, the unknown. [5] The same Our Higher Power that has helped us deal with our obsession will be the guide and is the source of courage when that we ask for it need to face this fear. [1] Paragraph ten, greybook, Chapter Nine. [2] Paragraph nineteen, greybook, Chapter Nine. [4]; [5] Paragraph twenty-three, greybook, Chapter Nine. [3] Paragraph sixteen, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] Some things we must accept, other we can change. [2] The wisdom to know the difference involves comes with growth in the our spiritual program. [3] If we maintain our spiritual condition daily, we find it easier to deal with the pain and confusion. [4] This is the emotional stability that we so badly need. [5] With the help of our Higher Power, we never have to use again. [2] Paragraph twenty-three, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] Any clean addictclean, without the compulsion to use, is a miracle. [2] We keep this miracle alive in ongoing recovery with positive attitudes and awareness involving personal growth. [3] If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the things which that helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery. [All] Paragraph five, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] Three basic spiritual principles are honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. [2] These are the HOW of our program. [3] The initial honesty that we express is the desire to stop using. [4] Next we honestly admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives.

[1] Rigorous honesty is the most important tool in learning to live for today. [2] Although honesty is difficult to practice, it is most rewarding. [3] Honesty is the antidote to our diseased thinking. [4] Our newly found faith serves as a firm foundation for courage in the future.

[1] What we knew about living before we came to N.A. almost killed us. [2] Managing our own lives got us to the Narcotics Anonymous Program. [3] We came to N.A. knowing very little about how to be happy and enjoy life. [4] A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind. [5] Being open-minded allows us to hear something that might save our lives. [6] It allows us to listen to opposing points of view, and come to conclusions of our own. [7] Open-mindedness leads us to the very insights that have eluded us during our lives. [8] It is this principle that allows us to participate in a discussion without jumping to conclusions or predetermining right and wrong. [9] We no longer need to make fools of ourselves by standing up for nonexistent virtues. [10] We have learned that it is okay to not know all the answers, for then we are teachable and can learn to live our new life successfully.

[1] Open-mindedness without willingness, however, will get us nowhere. [2] We must be willing to do whatever is necessary to recover. [3] We never know when the time will come when we must put forth all the effort and strength we have just to stay clean.

[1] Honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness work hand in hand. [2] The lack of one of these principles in our personal program can lead to relapse, and will certainly make recovery difficult and painful when it could be simple. [3] This program is a vital part of our everyday living. [4] If it were not for this program, most of us would be dead or institutionalized. [5] Our viewpoint changes from that of a loner to that of a member. [6] We emphasize setting our house in order, because it brings us relief. [7] We trust in our Higher Power for the strength to meet our needs.

[1] One way to practice the principles of HOW is by taking a daily inventory. [2] Our inventory allows us to realize recognize our daily growth. [3] So often, we get caught up in striving for growth and eliminating our defects, that we We shouldn’t forget about our assets while striving to eliminate our defects. [4] The old self-deception and self-centeredness can be replaced with spiritual principles. [2]; [3] Paragraph twenty-eight, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] Staying clean is the first step in facing life. [2] When we practice acceptance, our lives are simplified. [3] When problems arise, we hope to be well-equipped with the tools of the program. [4] We honestly have to surrender our own self-destructiveness. [5] In the past, we believed desperation would give us the strength to survive. [6] Now we accept responsibility for our problems and see that we’re equally responsible for our solutions.

[1] As recovering addicts, we come to know gratitude. [2] As our defects are removed, we are free to become all that we can. [3] We emerge as new individuals with an awareness of ourselves and the ability to take our places in the world.

[1] In living the steps, we begin to let go of our self-obsession. [2] We ask a Higher Power to remove our fear of facing ourselves and life. [3] We redefine ourselves by working the steps and using the tools of recovery. [4] We see ourselves differently. [5] Our personalities change. [6] We become feeling people, capable of responding appropriately to life. [7] We put spiritual living first and learn to use patience, tolerance and humility in our daily affairs.

[1] Other people in our lives help us to develop trust and loving attitudes, we demand less and give more. [2] We are slower to anger and quicker to forgive. [3] We learn about the love that we receive in our Fellowship. [4] We begin to feel lovable which is a feeling totally alien to our old egocentric selves.

[1] Ego used to control us in all sorts of subtle ways. [2] Anger is our reaction to our present reality. [3] Resentments are reliving past experiences again and again, and fear is our response to the future. [4] We need to become willing to let God remove these defects that burden our spiritual growth.

[1] New ideas are available to us through the sharing of our living experience. [2] By rigorously practicing the few simple guidelines in this chapter, we recover daily. [3] The principles of the program shape our personalities.

[1] From the isolation of our addiction, we find a fellowship of people with a common bond of recovery. [2] N.A. is like a lifeboat in a sea of isolation, hopelessness and destructive chaos. [3] Our faith, strength and hope come from people sharing their recovery and from our relationship with the God of our own understanding. [4] At first it feels awkward to share feelings. [5] Part of the pain of addiction is being cut off from this sharing experience. [6] If we find ourselves in a bad place or we sense trouble coming, we call someone or go to a meeting. [7] We learn to seek help before making difficult decisions. [8] By humbling ourselves and asking for help, we can get through the toughest of times. [9] I can’t, we can!. [10] In this way we find the strength that we need. [11] We form a mutual bond, as we share our spiritual and mental resources.

[1] Sharing in regularly scheduled meetings and one-on-one with recovering addicts helps us stay clean. [2] Attending meetings reminds us of what it is like to be new and of the progressive nature of our disease. [3] Attending our home group provides encouragement from the people that we get to know. [4] This sustains our recovery and helps us in our daily living. [5] When we honestly tell our own story, someone else may identify with us. [6] Serving the needs of our members and making our message available gives us a feeling of joy. [7] Service gives us opportunities to grow in ways that touch all past of our lives. [8] Our experience in recovery may help them deal with their problems, what worked for us might work for them. [9] Most addicts are able to accept this type of sharing, even from the very beginning. [10] The Fellowship, get-togethers after a meeting, is a our meetings are good opportunity opportunities to share things that we didn’t get to discuss at during the meeting. [11] It This is also a good time to talk one-on-one with our sponsors. [12] When we talk about our questions and answers, many parts of the message Things we need to hear will surface for the first time and become clearer clear to us. [10]; [11]; [12] Paragraph twenty-four, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] By sharing the experience of our recovery with newcomers, we help ourselves stay clean. [2] We share comfort and encouragement with others. [3] Today we have people in our lives who stand with us. [4] Getting away from our self-centeredness gives us a better perspective on life. [5] By asking for help, we can change. [6] Sharing is risky at times, but by becoming vulnerable we are able to grow.

[1] Some will come to Narcotics Anonymous still trying to use people to help them continue their habit. [2] Their closed mind is a barrier against change. [3] A spirit of open-mindedness, coupled with an admission of powerlessness, is a key that will unlock the door to recovery. [4] If someone with a drug problem comes to us seeking recovery, and is willing, we gladly share with them how we stay clean.

[1] We develop self-esteem as we help others find a new way of life. [2] When we honestly evaluate what we have, we can learn to appreciate it. [3] We begin to feel worthwhile by being members of N.A. [4] We can carry the gifts of recovery with us everywhere. [5] The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous are a progressive recovery process established in our normal daily living. [6] Our Ongoing recovery is dependent on our belief in relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us whatever what we found find impossible to do for ourselves. [5]; [6] Paragraph twenty-one, greybook, Chapter Nine.

[1] During our recovery, each of us comes to our own understanding of the program. [2] If we have difficulties, we trust our groups, our sponsors and our Higher Power to guide us. [3] Thus, recovery, as found in Narcotics Anonymous, comes both from within and without.

[1] We live a day at a time but also from moment to moment. [2] When we stop living in the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonable. [3] Patience isn’t a strong point with us. [4] That’s why we need our slogans and our N.A. friends to remind us to live the program just for today.

Tell yourself:

[1] As our recoveries recovery progressed, we became increasingly more aware of ourselves and our the world around us. [2] Our needs and wants, our assets and liabilities were revealed to us. [3] We came to realize that we had no power to change the outside world, we could only change ourselves. [4] The program Program of Narcotics Anonymous provided provides an opportunity for us to relieve our ease the pain by applying of living through spiritual principles. [All] Paragraph one, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] We are very fortunate to have had this program. [2] Before, very few people recognized that addiction was a disease. [3] Recovery is a reality for us today. [4] Through By working the program steps, we are rebuilding our disordered and fractured personalities. [5] Narcotics Anonymous is a healthy environment for growth. [6] As a fellowship, we love a cherish one another, supporting our new way of life together. [4] Paragraph six, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] As we grow, we come to understand humility as acceptance of both our assets and our liabilities. [2] What we want most is to feel good about ourselves. [3] Today we have real feelings of love, joy, hope, sadness, excitement. [4] Our feelings are not our old drug-induced feelings.

[1] Sometimes we find ourselves caught up in old ideas, even with time in the program. [2] The basics are always important to recovery. [3] We need to avoid old thinking patterns, both the old ideas and the tendency toward complacency. [4] We cannot afford to become complacent, because our disease is with us twenty-four hours a day. [5] If, while practicing these principles, we allow ourselves to feel superior or inferior, we isolate ourselves. [6] We are headed for trouble if we feel apart from other addicts. [7] Separation from the atmosphere of recovery and from the spirit of service to others slows our spiritual growth. [8] Complacency keeps us from good will, love and compassion.

[1] If we are unwilling to listen to others, we will deny the need for improvement. [2] We learn to become flexible and to admit when others are right and we are wrong. [3] As new things are revealed, we feel renewed. [4] We need to stay open-minded and willing to do that one extra thing, go to one extra meeting, stay on the phone one extra minute, and help a newcomer stay clean one extra day. [5] This extra effort is vital to our recovery.

[1] We come to know ourselves for the first time. [2] We experience new sensations: to love, to be loved, to know that people care about us and do have concern and compassion for others. [3] We find ourselves doing and enjoying things that we never thought we would be doing. [4] We make mistakes, and we accept and learn from them. [5] We experience failure, and we learn how to succeed. [6] Often we have to face some type of crisis during our recovery, such as the death of a loved one, financial difficulties or divorce. [7] These are realities of life, and they don’t go away just because we get clean. [8] Some of us, even after years of recovery, found ourselves jobless, homeless or penniless. [9] We entertained the thought that staying clean was not paying off, and the old thinking stirred up self-pity, resentment and anger. [10] No matter how painful life’s tragedies can be for us, one thing is clear, we must not use, no matter what!

[1] This is a program of total abstinence. [2] There are times, however, such as in cases of health problems involving surgery and/or extreme physical injury, when medication may be valid. [3] This does not constitute a license to use. [4] There is no safe use of drugs for us. [5] Our bodies don’t know the difference between the drugs prescribed by a physician for pain and the drugs prescribed by ourselves to get high. [6] As addicts, our skill at self-deception will be at its peak in such a situation. [7] Often our minds will manufacture additional pain as an excuse to use. [8] Turning it over to our Higher Power and getting the support of our sponsor and other members can prevent us from becoming our own worst enemies. [9] Being alone during such times would give our disease an opportunity to take over. [10] Honest sharing can dispel our fears of relapse.

[1] Whatever pain we experience will pass. [2] Through prayer, meditation and sharing, we keep our priorities in order. [3] It is imperative to keep N.A. members close to us at all times, if possible. [4] It is amazing how our minds will go back to our old ways and old thinking. [5] You’d be surprised how much pain we can handle without medication. [6] In this program of total abstinence, however, we need to feel no guilt after having taken a minimum amount of medication prescribed by an informed professional for extreme physical pain.

[1] We grow through pain in recovery and often find that such a crisis is a gift, an opportunity to experience growth by living clean. [2] Before recovery, we were unable to even conceive of the thought that problems brought gifts. [3] This gift may be finding strength within ourselves or regaining the feeling of self-respect that we had lost.

[1] Spiritual growth, love, and compassion are idle potentials until shared with a fellow addict. [2] By giving unconditional love in the Fellowship, we become more loving, and by sharing spiritual growth we become more spiritual.

[1] By carrying this message to another addict, we are reminded of our own beginnings. [2] Having had an opportunity to remember old feelings and behaviors, we are able to see our own personal and spiritual growth. [3] In the process of answering the questions of another, our own thinking becomes clearer. [4] Newer members are a constant source of hope, ever reminding us that the program works. [5] We have the opportunity to live the knowledge acquired by staying clean, when we work with newcomers.

[1] We have learned to value the respect of others. [2] We are pleased when people depend on us. [3] For the first time in our lives, we may be asked to serve in positions of responsibility in community organizations outside of N.A. [4] Our opinions are sought and valued by non-addicts in areas other than addiction and recovery. [5] We can enjoy our families in a new way and become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden. [6] They can be proud of us today. [7] Our individual interests can broaden to include social or even political issues. [8] Hobbies and recreation give us new pleasure. [9] It gives us good feelings to know that aside from our value to others as recovering addicts, we are also of value as human beings.

[1] The reinforcement received by sponsorship is limitless. [2] We spent years taking from others in every conceivable way. [3] Words cannot describe the sense of spiritual awareness that we receive when we have given something, no matter how small, to another person.

[1] We are each other’s eyes and ears. [2] ; when When we do something wrong, our fellow recovering addicts help us help ourselves by showing us what we cannot see. [3] In time, we may We sometimes find ourselves with caught up in old ideas on the program. [4] Our roots of recovery are important, but in ongoing recovery we We need to constantly review our feelings and thinking thoughts if we are to stay fresh and in touch with the growth of N.A. as a whole enthusiastic and grow spiritually. [5] This freshness may well be the key to enthusiasm will aid our ongoing recovery. [All] Paragraph twenty-two, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] Today we have the freedom of choice. [2] As we work the program to the best of our ability, the obsession with self is removed. [3] Much of our loneliness and fear is replaced by the love and security of the Fellowship. [4] Helping a suffering addict is one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. [5] We are willing to help. [6] We have had similar experiences and understand fellow addicts as no one else can. [7] We offer hope, for we know that a better way of life is now real for us, and we give love because it was given so freely to us. [8] New frontiers are open to us as we learn how to love. [9] Love can be the flow of life energy from one person to another. [10] By caring, sharing, and praying for others, we become a part of them. [11] Through empathy, we allow addicts to become part of us.

[1] As we do this, we undergo a vital spiritual experience and are changed. [2] On a practical level, changes occur because what’s appropriate to one phase of recovery may not be for another. [3] We constantly let go of what has served its purpose, and let God guide us through the current phase with what works here and now.

[1] As we become more God-reliant and gain more self-respect, we realize that we don’t need to feel superior or inferior to anyone. [2] Our real value is in being ourselves. [3] Our egos, once so large and dominant, now take a back seat because we are in harmony with a loving God. [4] We find that we lead richer, happier and much fuller lives when we lose self-will.

[1] We become able to make wise and loving decisions, based on principles and ideals that have real value in our lives. [2] By shaping our thoughts with spiritual ideals, we are freed to become who we want to be. [3] What we had feared, we can now overcome through our dependence on a loving God. [4] Faith has replaced our fear and given us freedom from ourselves.

[1] In recovery, we also strive for an attitude of gratitude. [2] We feel grateful for ongoing God-consciousness. [3] Whenever we confront a difficulty that we do not think we can handle, we have learned to pray that ask God will to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. [All] Paragraph fifteen, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] A spiritual awakening is an ongoing process. [2] We experience a wider view of reality as we grow spiritually. [3] An opening of our minds to new spiritual and physical experiences is the key to better awareness. [4] As we grow spiritually we become attuned to our feelings and our purpose in life.

[1] By loving ourselves, we become able to truly love others. [2] This is a spiritual awakening that comes as a result of living this program. [3] We find ourselves daring to care and love!

[1] Higher mental and emotional functions, such as conscience and the ability to love, were sharply affected by our drug use. [2] Living skills were reduced to the animal level. [3] Our spirit was broken. [4] The capacity to feel human was lost. [5] This seems extreme, but many of us have been in this state.

[1] It has been our experience that by clean living and working the Steps In time, through recovery, our dreams have come true. [2] We do not don’t mean that we became great leaders, champion race drivers or rock stars, though some of us may have necessarily become rich or famous. [3] What we mean it that our deep inner However, by realizing the will of our Higher Power, dreams do come true for us in recovery. [All] Paragraph thirty-eight, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] One of the continuing miracles of recovery is becoming a productive, responsible member of society. [2] We need to tread carefully into areas that expose us to ego-inflating experience, prestige and manipulation that may be difficult for us. [3] We have found that the way to remain a productive, responsible member of society is to put our recovery first. [4] N.A. can survive without us, but we cannot survive without N.A.

[1] Narcotics Anonymous offers only one promise and that is freedom from active addiction, the solution that eluded us for so long. [2] We will be freed from our self-made prisons.

[1] A day at a time Living just for today, we have no way of knowing what will happen to us. This is why we live in today. [2] However, it has been very funny We are often amazed at how things have worked work our for us. [3] We are recovering in the here and now and the future becomes an exciting journey. [4] We find that if If we would have had written a down our list of things that we wanted upon entering expectations when we came to the program, we would have been cheating ourselves. [5] Hopeless living problems have become joyously changed. [6] Our disease has been arrested, and now anything is possible. [1]; [2]; [4] Paragraph thirty-seven, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] We become increasingly open-minded and open to new ideas in all areas of our lives. [2] Through active listening, we hear things that work for us. [3] This ability to listen is a gift and grows as we grow spiritually. [4] Life takes on a new meaning when we open ourselves to this gift. [5] In order to receive, we must be willing to give.

[1] Our conceptions In recovery, our ideas of fun have changed drastically since we surrendered to N.A. as a whole change. [2] We can are now free to enjoy the simple things in life, like fellowship with other addicts, whereas we once isolated ourselves and living in harmony with nature. [3] We now have become free to develop a new understanding of life. [4] As we look back, we are grateful for our new life. [5] It is so unlike the events that brought us here. [1]; [2] Paragraph thirty-five, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] While using, we thought that we had fun and that non-users were deprived of it. [2] Spirituality enables us to live life to its fullest, feeling grateful for who we are and for what we have done in life. [3] Since the beginning of our recovery, we have found that joy doesn’t come from material things, but from within ourselves. [4] We find that when we lose self-obsession, we are able to understand what it means to be happy, joyous, and free. [5] Indescribable joy comes from sharing from the heart, we no longer need to lie to gain acceptance.

[1] In our experience, the Twelve Steps give us a way of life which does Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is more than keep us off just a life without drugs. [2] Not only is this way of life superior to the old using life better than the hell we lived, it is superior to better than any life that we can conceive have ever known. [All] Paragraph forty, greybook, Chapter Ten.

[1] We have found a way out, and we see it work for others. [2] Each day more will be revealed.