There just has to be a place where I can talk about the books I am reading. They are so important to me right now. So much of life is beyond us as individuals and though books, we can gain insights, new words and clues to what is bothering us. I believe we have always studied leaves and details for signs and it is part of our human nature to be able to see events and envision the passing of an animal by a bit of fur on a bush. Or a pattern of prints in wet sand show a racoon playing with his catch and interacting with his brothers and sisters alongside the larger tracks of Mom. So, books fit in with our eyesight, our minds and the hands we use to hold the books. Our bodies are able to sit still for long periods of time, so we are able to read and study and learn.

Being active in NA gives me a reason to want to know how societies are arranged and what people do to self-govern themselves. When things go wrong, it hurts me and sometimes my only comfort is learning something that may prevent it from happening again.

I am finally reading this book. Greg P. was given a copy of the first two hundred and fifty pages and I reviewed those during the Baltimore World Convention. The rest I never saw until now. Friends have said the book if accurate up to the point where Bob became involved.  Those who were apart of the literature movement watched with wonder as the World Service Office first disrupted, then dismantled the system we had built up over a period of years to write the NA Basic Text, Narcotics Anonymous. Because these members were benign and reserved, people like Bob just flat missed out on realizing what was really going on. Had we been more assertive, we might have gotten through to him eventually but we were busy building the Fellowship. Some of the short sightedness of people at the 'center of things' is interesting. People at the center only think they know what is going on. Unless they keep a careful ear open, their perspective becomes distorted. They see things near as safe and known. Things far away seem irregular and confused. Like people in a hot air balloon, they can see all around but forget what it is like to have your feet on the ground.

The most intriguing thing in this book so far is the way those who disagree with or oppose Bob's policies are dubbed the standing minority. He never once realizes that these are the members who care enough to study and are courageous enough to speak out on issues even if they are made to feel uncomfortable. Even in the rare cases where he admits fault, he doesn't seem to reference all the concern and efforts to communicate as having been totally correct. Once he even criticized the Standing Minority  for not being more harsh or demanding. No where does he give proper credit to the standing minority for caring and stepping out on faith as the young Fellowship emerges. He misses the fact that his close associates are either getting a big share of attention or a job at WSO. He also does exceedingly well with newcomers. Those who become informed and at some point begin to disagree become part of the Standing Minority, along with the other members who have been involved for years and years. Abiding by the Twelve Traditions for Bob is a ploy to get your way. It details that six months went by before he had staff workers double check the 4th Edition with the 3rd Revised because he assumed those who were upset were just trouble makers. Without prejudice, I am saying it is a wondrous thing to be able to read all this. It may be that we as a Fellowship have to learn these lessons well before we can qualify to step up to a more friendly and effective association. 

Now, this may have been because of something similar to what happened to Jimmy Kinnon where he was surrounded by people who told him what was going on feeling free to give their interpretation of it along the way. Over time, that can really blind leadership so that they are unable to hear or take seriously anyone outside a small circle. There are important lessons for us al in this. Even with the personal bias, Bob Stone gives us a way to see into the internal workings of the tiny bureaucracy that seeks to control the NA world.  Being from that world and very able to follow events, we seem to be coming to a place where enough members can see a wide picture of what has happened. In my experience, this is a situation that bodes well for the future. There were many things we warned against as active members of the NA World Service Conference and the NA World Service Board. But these things were not thought possible by the leadership back then. We can build on the things that have worked for us and try to avoid some of the things that did not. Without a written statement, much of our debate wanders off into the highly theoretical that addicts affectionaly call 'cosmic bullshit.' I have heard members from emerging Fellowships call the Office the Kremlin.

I am being blunt here because I want to witness all the splendid men and women who have built NA up from nothing to something in a few short decades. The WSO has certainly played a major role in all this. Getting massive amounts of books printed and distributed, dealing with all sorts of legal and population issues has put a strain on their small system. But they exist at the edge of a larger system called Narcotics Anonymous. Today, there are literally hundreds of thousands of NA members with substantial clean time who are lovingly caring our message and working their 12 Steps of recovery. They are the big deal. Those of us who have been so fortunate as to serve them have had the wondrous experience of watching a real life miracle taking place in our times.

For whatever personal limitations may have entered the picture, Bob Stone gave his life for NA. He was not an addict although some thought he was addicted to power. He held at bay many negative forces and accomplished many hard tasks. The sensitivity and good sense of our people were able to curb and mollify some of the rough edges of a man who uesd to be a political consultant in Los Angeles and became the office manager of the largest group of clean addicts in the history of the world. We should all thank Bob and study this book for interest and insight into our own history and processes. This is how we learn. One of the wonderful things about the new life is the way the bad stuff gets lost and the good stuff sort of builds up. - Bo Sewell 2002

by Nathaniel Branden

What love is, why love is born, why it sometimes grows, why it sometimes dies

While this is definitely a book on love, it gets into some real interesting stuff. I found the book on the floor by the bed of a lonely man whose little room I now inhabit.

page 59: "...when an artist or scientist suddenly sees a path that would carry him or her far from the "consensual" beliefs and values of contemporary orientation and opinion, and the question arises of whether to follow that lonely path wherever it leads, or to draw back, forget what was seen, and restrict his or her vision only to that which others can readily share -- the issue in all such cases remains the same. Should one honor one's inner signals or disown them: autonomy verusus conformity; self-expression versus self-repudiation; self-creation versus self-annihilation."

Also: The Man who Listens to Horses

Exerpts:

How about this: "I read your book since I saw you last night," he said, "the whole thing. I never slept. Don't read too fast, either. Never read another book clear through in my whole life. You've done good things, Mr. Roberts. You're bringing good things to horses. I'll never treat horses the same again. My father was brutal to them, too, just like yours. But what I want to know is, is it too late for those four little girls over there?" With that he began to sob. I put an arm oround his hulking frame and escorted him to a horse trailer nearby to get him away from people who were staring.

Principles of Join up apply to people. Join up is something Monty uses to start off a horse to live in association with people. Once a horse is started, it is incredible the shift of attitude and depth of interaction. The horse no longer regards the human as an enemy or predator. The horse will accept the bridle and saddle without pain or punishment. Monty solved his own greatest life problems and open a whole new door for people and horses.  Without breaking the horses spirit, the horse becomes a willing and able partner.